Dating thread 167: Help, I need somebody - but not just anybody

[CassettesAreCool]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

So the guy who I haven't been chatting with as much as the other has asked if I'd like to share a bottle with him sometime. He lives in my town, which as much as I can't deny would be easy, I've always avoided dating people too close to where I live.

I've checked him out on Fb (he gave me permission and his last name in order to do so) and we only really have one friend in common and I'd say they are more of an acquaintance than a friend.

I know I'm not in a great place right now to date but I feel like I need a massive self esteem boost as right now it's on the floor.

I think your should go for it @Sunshineandflipflops

@Sunshineandflipflops yes go for it. Nothing to lose and you may just like him!

@Ginmel thanks for the advice. And the apt quotes. I’ll give coffee with Mr RL a whirl.

Good move @fmfl

@FMFL I agree with ginmel don’t right him off if he ticks a lot of boxes
@Sunshineandflipflops what’s to lose?? He wouldn’t let you stalk if anything to hide. Fab opening start.
@catnip I agree pull back and see what happens..
@Marlboroandmalbec34 I don’t think
Mr big is right as he’s upsetting you. An exclusive fwb sounds like the requirement?!? Wasn’t someone finding those for a lot of people the other day 🤣

Go for it sunshine but be prepared for tears that he's not Mr SAS. I cried all the way home from my first date post break up. Even though I had a nice time and am still seeing him. Just because things weren't the same. I hope you have a lovely time xx

New iron needs a name. I'll call him Mrs Unexpected

He could pip Mr AD

Mr!

Lmfao @ginmel that would be unexpected!

But not unexpected on fab - thank feck there's filter options

@Notcoolmum He's definitely not MrSAS but that didn't work out so well so maybe that's a good thing.

He's not actually asked me out yet so we'll see.

sunshine hope you get your date. If you are anything like me you cant help but compare. But as you say, time for a change xx

catnip I agree with Ginmel , tell him you want him to organise something, if he is shy (I hate that word) as you think then his reaction to it will be positive.

If it works, make sure it is understood that date organisation is a shared thing from then on, you don't want to end up with someone who won't take their share of the mental load.

Hi, am all over the place at the moment and need a head wobble please. Was seeing a lovely guy for two months but the sex issue didn‘t resolve itself within the two months I‘d given it in the back of my head. I set up some dates with a guy with loads of chemistry. But sex issue here too. Both 49/50. I know it’s not me, but am I destined to only be touched by airport security for the rest of my life?

Autumn I have to ask - what is the sex issue?

ED, age related.

I have to go younger, right?

@shitwithsugaron that quote is one of my first things I ask FWBs if they like. If they like that and give me an appropriately sexy response, it's a good start

Are they 49/50? Seems very young for age-related ED. I've only encountered it in a 59 year old so far, with known prostate concerns. My FWB is 50 and has a permanent bloody erection like a teenager! Anyhoo, if you like younger men then by all means go for it, but I don't think you HAVE to go younger.

@AutumnHaze MrSAS was (and still is) 49. He didn't have ED as such but he didn't always 'finish' and I wondered if that was age related as he has been recently to test his testosterone levels as he feels he may be going through the male version of the menopause.

Maybe that explains a few things 🤔

ginmel swooning at the hair one. That’s a great idea. I might send it to my irons and track response. Can you be my life coach please?