Apologies for a long thread but want to avoid drip-feeding. Me and my DP, both 35, have been together for 6 years, we split before as we didn't get on very well and there were also external factors to do with jobs, family bereavement, money etc. which didn't help.
Mutual decision, we stayed friends as had still lots of respect and love for each other. We lived over 1 year apart, then started to become closer and after almost 2 years since 1st split, we got back together, moved in. We spend lots of time talking and making changes to make sure we don't repeat old mistakes. First months were great, almost felt like being in love for the 1st time again but now, almost another year on, we are struggling. We just seem to be different in many aspects, we argue quite a lot. I am career focused, he is more laid back. I am messy, he is tidy. I earn more than him, he just gets by. Sex is not great, it happens but it seems like a chore at times.
I still love him to bits as he is a good and caring man and I do know he loves me too but we just don't get on on a daily basis.
Recently he went to work and forgot to take his phone, and I did something I have never done before, I checked his FB. There were quite a lot of messages between him and one girl, I figured out it is someone he must have been dating or sleeping with when we were apart. The messages between them were rather friendly then sexual and quite reserved from her side but there was certain level of intimacy, as if they knew each other very well.
DP said in one message that me and him are not getting on :( and we might even split in the future... that was after one of our rows. He also complimented this girl many times and many times mentioned how much fun they had together in the past. He mentioned her 'great tits' once, too. Her response to all that is just laughing and changing subject usually. DP sent her a picture of himself, just a selfie and asked her for pictures, too. She ignored it but eventually sent him a couple of pics, night out ones with friends and one pretty selfie, with 'great tits' visible. DP's response was wow you are looking lovely, great, hot, still beautiful.
The messages went on for a couple of weeks, sometimes there were a couple of days with no contact. Last contact was about 3 weeks ago. Her last message was: I don't think we should talk that much while you are still in a relationship with Daisy, which he responded to: yes, I know, it's great to be back in touch but I do need to focus on trying to fix my relation with Daisy so it is best if we don't talk much right now.
I am really confused and upset by these messages. He clearly fancies her and trusts her enough to say we are struggling. It seems like a huge breach of trust. On the other hand,
I know him so well and know he would never cheat. It is just not in his book. So it is not physical now... and it's seems kind of typical for man to think of sex with other women, especially when things are not great at home... But... His FB search shows that he checks her profile out regularly and I also saw some downloaded pics of her in his phone. Most just normal ones but one or two quite seductive selfies, tops with cleavage, shorts, with legs and heels exposed. Not really sure what he saw in her as she is quite average.
She is older than me and I think less attractive but he clearly fancies her.
I just don't know what to do and think. We looked at houses together recently and I am also thinking I don't have that much time left for trying for a child but clearly it is all too messy now to even consider getting pregnant.
Is there any chance from here for me and DP? Should I confront him about it all?