Dating thread 166: Who dates wins

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

So a mixed first 24 hours . A couple of semi interesting blokes.. .I see how things go..I might get people to check out my profile later on. I am very conscious of my size as ex said it was why he was leaving me.. slowly lossing weight..still size 20.. .. lovely hearing good stories

Thank you @Ginmel x

Happy birthday Sunshine 🎂

I don't think you should be too harsh on Mr SAS - he might be coming down with something, or just need to rest more. It's just human to get like that sometimes. It might be my past (marriage) influencing my thoughts on this, but fuckwit exh was always put out if I was tired, and implied that I had no right to be ...

I'm out of the house 12 hours a day, workout the minute I walk in the door (no time or money for a gym) and have to cook, clean, buy food, do laundry etc, and rarely have a full weekend (visiting disabled adult DC). For the past week I've struggled to stay awake beyond 9 pm (I get up at 5). Mr BCs life is similar so he understands. We still manage a very very active sex life - punctuated with sleeping!

Happy birthday @Sunshineandflipflops. Xx

Happy birthday Sunshine enjoy the sun and rose

Thank you everyone 😊

I don't feel as pissed off this morning and I did get a lovely message when I woke up and I re-read my card, which was lovely x

Happy birthday sunshine 🎂🎈🎁🎉

Happy birthday sunshine 🍷🍾🎉🎁☀️☀️☀️

Supercali absolution? Yeah I said it sounded like she just wanted me to say it was ok to end it and I'd be fine, but she said no, she just wanted me to know that what's going on is not my fault, and that even though she's being quiet she is thinking about me and cares about me loads.
I just replied with a slightly less blunt version of sort out what you need to, you know where I am, but I won't be putting my life on hold.

Happy birthday sunshine

I was probs my a little harsh yesterday, Mr SAS is very accommodating and pretty much always manages to see me on my child free days, even though he can be a bit more flexible than me.

I think our different electronic communication styles are just getting to me a bit while I'm away and missing him. I'm obviously imagining him seeing other women and wanting to end things with me when I get home but he hasn't actually said anything to make me think that really.

@Ant330 It sounds like Miss H really doesn't know what she wants but while she makes her mind up she's going to miss out on something special.

Well disappointing but there wont be another date with sundays iron - despite his repeated requests for same and calling me late on Sunday night too after the date). He went quiet yesterday and after ignoring a message from me, but being on line, I sent a "was nice to meet you, hope you find what you're after" message for closure last night. He didn't reply till this morning but I got same back.

Annoying as I fancied this one from off, conversation was good, we had a laugh and he fancied me (it was um obvious at points during date 🙈) but I'll just write off as a good afternoon out.

I'm finding that unfortunately dating in 40s is piting me against men out of longterm relationships that just dont want to settle for one person once they are free and have apps full of women at their disposal 🤦‍♀️ ps to men on thread I know this isn't all men - just the ones I seem to be attracting 🤷‍♀️

Mr C deleted his profile overnight. The one guy I really like on fab and he disappears. Know it wasn't my fault etc. Nevermind eh?

Happy birthday @Sunshineandflipflops! Turn your mind off. He's meeting you the nightbyou get back he's just a rubbish texter...

@Ant330 I'm going to be really blunt here. It sounds like Ms H jumped in too quickly and lovebombed both of you. She was very keen straightaway and wanted to see you all the time. When you have chemistry with someone it's very addictive and you can't get enough of them as we all know. Then for some reason she'd had enough and changed her mind. She probably doesn't even know why herself. But instead of being honest and telling you that (especially as she may not know the reason why) she just went flaky and vague. But she likes you so she couldn't just tell you. Plus she was probably hoping she'd change her mind as clearly you're lovely. Now finally you've ended it as she was too dishonest to and she feels bad. As clearly you're upset. And she doesn't want to feel guilty so yes she's looking for absolution.

Sorry but she won't be back. She'll carry on feeling guilty for a bit then probably do the same to someone else.

How do I know? Because I used to do that in my twenties. Jump in, think I was in love immediately, reality kicked in a few months in and I backed out in a cowardly way. Then got guilty and thought, oh I like him really, and vacillated for weeks.

Sorry to be so harsh but I could see it unfolding. Now you need to cut your losses, learn from it and move on.

Happy birthday @Sunshineandflipflops! Turn your mind off. He's meeting you the nightbyou get back he's just a rubbish texter...

@Ant330 I'm going to be really blunt here. It sounds like Ms H jumped in too quickly and lovebombed both of you. She was very keen straightaway and wanted to see you all the time. When you have chemistry with someone it's very addictive and you can't get enough of them as we all know. Then for some reason she'd had enough and changed her mind. She probably doesn't even know why herself. But instead of being honest and telling you that (especially as she may not know the reason why) she just went flaky and vague. But she likes you so she couldn't just tell you. Plus she was probably hoping she'd change her mind as clearly you're lovely. Now finally you've ended it as she was too dishonest to and she feels bad. As clearly you're upset. And she doesn't want to feel guilty so yes she's looking for absolution.

Sorry but she won't be back. She'll carry on feeling guilty for a bit then probably do the same to someone else.

How do I know? Because I used to do that in my twenties. Jump in, think I was in love immediately, reality kicked in a few months in and I backed out in a cowardly way. Then got guilty and thought, oh I like him really, and vacillated for weeks.

Sorry to be so harsh but I could see it unfolding. Now you need to cut your losses, learn from it and move on.

Happy birthday @Sunshineandflipflops! Turn your mind off. He's meeting you the nightbyou get back he's just a rubbish texter...

@Ant330 I'm going to be really blunt here. It sounds like Ms H jumped in too quickly and lovebombed both of you. She was very keen straightaway and wanted to see you all the time. When you have chemistry with someone it's very addictive and you can't get enough of them as we all know. Then for some reason she'd had enough and changed her mind. She probably doesn't even know why herself. But instead of being honest and telling you that (especially as she may not know the reason why) she just went flaky and vague. But she likes you so she couldn't just tell you. Plus she was probably hoping she'd change her mind as clearly you're lovely. Now finally you've ended it as she was too dishonest to and she feels bad. As clearly you're upset. And she doesn't want to feel guilty so yes she's looking for absolution.

Sorry but she won't be back. She'll carry on feeling guilty for a bit then probably do the same to someone else.

How do I know? Because I used to do that in my twenties. Jump in, think I was in love immediately, reality kicked in a few months in and I backed out in a cowardly way. Then got guilty and thought, oh I like him really, and vacillated for weeks.

Sorry to be so harsh but I could see it unfolding. Now you need to cut your losses, learn from it and move on.

Happy birthday @Sunshineandflipflops! Turn your mind off. He's meeting you the nightbyou get back he's just a rubbish texter...

@Ant330 I'm going to be really blunt here. It sounds like Ms H jumped in too quickly and lovebombed both of you. She was very keen straightaway and wanted to see you all the time. When you have chemistry with someone it's very addictive and you can't get enough of them as we all know. Then for some reason she'd had enough and changed her mind. She probably doesn't even know why herself. But instead of being honest and telling you that (especially as she may not know the reason why) she just went flaky and vague. But she likes you so she couldn't just tell you. Plus she was probably hoping she'd change her mind as clearly you're lovely. Now finally you've ended it as she was too dishonest to and she feels bad. As clearly you're upset. And she doesn't want to feel guilty so yes she's looking for absolution.

Sorry but she won't be back. She'll carry on feeling guilty for a bit then probably do the same to someone else.

How do I know? Because I used to do that in my twenties. Jump in, think I was in love immediately, reality kicked in a few months in and I backed out in a cowardly way. Then got guilty and thought, oh I like him really, and vacillated for weeks.

Sorry to be so harsh but I could see it unfolding. Now you need to cut your losses, learn from it and move on.

Happy birthday @Sunshineandflipflops! Turn your mind off. He's meeting you the nightbyou get back he's just a rubbish texter...

@Ant330 I'm going to be really blunt here. It sounds like Ms H jumped in too quickly and lovebombed both of you. She was very keen straightaway and wanted to see you all the time. When you have chemistry with someone it's very addictive and you can't get enough of them as we all know. Then for some reason she'd had enough and changed her mind. She probably doesn't even know why herself. But instead of being honest and telling you that (especially as she may not know the reason why) she just went flaky and vague. But she likes you so she couldn't just tell you. Plus she was probably hoping she'd change her mind as clearly you're lovely. Now finally you've ended it as she was too dishonest to and she feels bad. As clearly you're upset. And she doesn't want to feel guilty so yes she's looking for absolution.

Sorry but she won't be back. She'll carry on feeling guilty for a bit then probably do the same to someone else.

How do I know? Because I used to do that in my twenties. Jump in, think I was in love immediately, reality kicked in a few months in and I backed out in a cowardly way. Then got guilty and thought, oh I like him really, and vacillated for weeks.

Sorry to be so harsh but I could see it unfolding. Now you need to cut your losses, learn from it and move on.

Happy birthday @Sunshineandflipflops! Hope you enjoy your day. 🎂🍷

Sorry to hear about you and MissH @Ant330. It sounds to me like she’s not quite ready for you, and you not putting your life on hold is exactly the right thing to do.

@Neverexpected2 do you think you might have switched him off a bit too hastily? Quiet yesterday could just be he was busy at work, being online doesn’t mean anything really. One thing I’ve learned from my OLD experience is that overthinking comms is potentially disastrous.

Sidge I dont think so - he didn't bother contacting me - it was me him - and then he didn't reply despite being online lots. Never had an issue messaging previously even when at work. If I'd got wrong end of stick he could have asked what was up but he didn't so think I read it right unfortunately

Back from festival, attended my first rave, had a perfect time. Got chatted up twice, which was nice. Was supposed to see Mr D last night but he backed out with 2.5 hours to go. Said he’d met someone, but I don’t believe him. Think he was just chicken. Ho hum. Mr Greedy FWB is away for two weeks and I miss him far more than I should.

Happy birthday sunshine.

average earwax as an excuse not to get out there??? Or did you go in the end?

ant sorry it dragged on like that. I wonder whether you should block her? It will make it easier to move on. You can tell her you are doing so, so as not to be rude. If she wants to get back in touch she can send you a letter, she knows where you live. Old school, me.

@Neverexpected2 ah ok, I guess it just wasn’t meant to be then. Onwards!

Happy birthday @Sunshineandflipflops.

Sorry to hear about the break up @Ant330. I think you’re doing the right thing. And you definitely deserve to be treated better.

I’m back from my holiday (having managed to find a bikini I was willing to wear in public. Mr SG forgot to bring any swimwear, so he had to buy some jammers in decathlon in France 😂). I’m trying to catch up with everything I’ve missed with everyone else’s live lives (since I’m totally over invested).

You didn't need to repeat it 5x Peanut I get it! stupid website issues!
Not too harsh at all thanks, that fits what's going on perfectly tbh.
Think I've said all I need to say to her, she knows I'm not just going to wait around for her to sort her shit out one way or the other, but nor am I going to tell her it's absolutely fine because it's not!
I'll be back on the apps soon, not really feeling it right now but it won't take me long