Dating thread 166: Who dates wins

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Might brave some criticism of my profile later this evening.. Any offers to review it ..off to cinema now

@lifegoes your quote is so true. The things I ignored about Mr S were exactly what broke us up...

Guys! I have 2 new irons. 1 is good, not too close not too far. The other does similar things to me, handsome af, funny. Date tomorrow night. But he mainly stays a long way away. I'm fine with occassional/casual right now but. Argh. You know when you think 'on paper. You are perfect' and then you start acting like gollum with the precious? Play it cool woman

Glad it helped @RickDeckard

It definitely one to remember for the future @Notcoolmum I think we all often choose to ignore certain things at the start in hope they will change or even try to convince ourselves it's just us overreacting or being paranoid.

I have a date with Mr chunk in forty minutes. He seems perfect on paper but I cant really tell by his profile pics if I fancy him. One is too far away and the other he is in a swimming pool with just his head sticking out.
I shall soon find out. The old nerves are setting in,I hate this bit ( but exciting too)

Laughing at mr chunk @kerkyra enjoy

Enjoy the giddiness @supercali77

Mr D and my first meet up has to wait a few weeks. I shan't warn him where I'll be in my cycle on his return. 😂

I should say that relates to a high level of horniness, nowt else.

Date 2 with Ms SkinnyBlonde went really well too. We're just so comfortable with each other it's like we have been friends forever, too early for the exclusive chat but I've come off OLD while I see where this goes.

Harmless that's great news, so happy for you.

Oh Harmless that's great. Am excited for you. That's exactly how date 2 with Mr BC went (and as it was a Fab meet, we dtd and it was awesome, too. Sorry for TMI!).

Just checking in with everyone. Hi newbies 👋

Some great updates peeps! harmless wooma 👌

Nothing new to report here. Still talking to Mr Luigi and Mr Pleasant but nothing exciting happening with either. Mr Curtains is away and hasn’t been in contact but then I have had a bit of a mad weekend with friends so I haven’t initiated contact with anyone.

I have an unexpected child free night this week and am trying to decide whether to ask one of my irons on a first date or offer myself up to Mr Big

Spent the day with Mr Skinny today and all went well, went down to the coast and to a pub for lunch. Feels odd being with someone that doesn’t expect sex at the end of a date (though I’m slightly frustrated that we couldn’t fit it in 🤣). Seeing him again Tuesday and then probably won’t see him for a week as I’m away for a few days. Everything seems to be good but he does talk about his ex and his marriage ending quite a bit, I think it’s still a bit raw for him, I have been single a lot longer and have kind of got over the marriage breakdown and change in life style though my divorce and split was quite amicable compared to his. I’m trying to take things slow as I’m worried about being his rebound.

Hi @Lovemusic33 great that you had a good date, but agree it sounds annoying him talking about his ex etc, does he not know you're not supposed to do that on dates?!

Finally had my first date last night in over a decade! Feeling very proud of myself! I realised at first glance it wasn't a goer, but still had a nice evening out, and realised how confident I am now compared to my 20s which felt great.

Came home and started swiping like mad, but the convos are sooooo boring! I decided to message everyone I was interested in. Didn't get too many replies, and the few I did get literally answered my question, then my next question, then that was it!

I'm thinking if I just keep swiping I'll get a fish to bite?

Meant to say, is anyone trying Hinge? I'm getting nothing from that at all- even though it does look like a good calibre of man on there

@JeSuisPrest I hope the meet went well.

love maybe give him time to get it off his chest, but at some point say ok, that's in the past, let's move on?

helpme congrats on getting out there, a big moment. Yup, you'll never get a nibble, a bite or a catch if you don't keep fishing!

He’s not really talking about his ex as such (no slagging her off or anything), more talking about how he had to sell the house and the stress of getting divorced etc..
I know the end of a long relationship/marriage can be hard, often more so for the man as they often end up with less but he needs to get over it.

Please can I join? Evidently I need some help..!

I'm 45 and split from 20 yr relationship in Dec 18. Started OLD a few months ago.

Not really found anyone I liked until late June when I hit it off on Tinder with Mr P (30). He seemed keen as mustard, messaging on WA every day - normal friendly conversation interspersed with some flirting.

We've been out for drinks twice and both admitted to really enjoying ourselves. Lots of kissing and cuddling but not DTD yet. Lots of talking about DTD to build the suspense.

I think he's quite genuine - he was open about his divorce and a recent bereavement. I was looking for something casual but he's been messaging daily including about weekends away. So I broke rule 3 and became emotionally invested!

I'm currently abroad on holiday and the messaging has completely dried up. On Weds I sent a jokey meme about the lack of conversation and being "curved" and he just responded with a laughing emoji.

I suspect I'm overthinking. I knows he's busy with working and studying atm. My gut says to do nothing and see if he contacts me when I'm home. My neurotic brain is telling me to call him out by simply asking if he wants another date. Please help!! I'm losing sleep over this nonsense!

I wouldn't ask. At times like this Pinot I delete chats and number so as not to be tempted to chase, then wait until they get in touch. It just takes all the pressure out of my head, as I can't message even if I wanted to.

Pinot I would just concentrate on enjoying your holiday and don’t worry about him. Message him when you get back and ask him if he wants to meet up again, I wouldn’t chase after him too much.

cassettes you are so strong to do that. It’s s great idea but I don’t think I could!

marl it really works. It's like pressing reset. And they always message, though sometimes by that time I realise I haven't missed them so move on

Yes @Pinot I think it's a good idea to turn it all off and focus on your holiday, after all you've probably been looking forward to it for some time. I had to turn the apps off on my holiday recently as it was just stressing me out and I couldn't relax properly. Although I didn't have anyone significant on the go which might make a difference.

I may have been of the mind to text him and ask him straight out, so you know where you stand. But you might not get a straight answer so could continue messing with your head.

If the worst happens and he's lost interest completely, you've still had a really good experience from OLD which has hopefully been an ego boost and helped you get over your 20yr marriage. You probably weren't looking for something mega serious in any case? (Sorry, maybe you were, just trying to look on the bright side)

Good evening everyone!! Struggling to keep up with the thread!!
Well I've chatted to a few people in this last week but most haven't progressed anywhere but I have got a new iron... Mr Irish.... the thought of an Irish accent makes me swoon!! 🥰 we will see how this one goes but so far so good!!

@Ant330 how did the handover of belongings go?

@JeSuisPrest how did the meet go? Sounds like Mr C was really trying which is so lovely.
Can’t remember how old your DD is but does she know you’ve been dating?