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Original poster

Dating thread 166: Who dates wins

999 replies

Ginmel · 04/08/2019 21:03

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginmel · 17/08/2019 21:59

I don't get it then. Why are you saying you use him more even though he initiates and its too much for you? Think I've missed something!

OP posts:
Bettyboobies · 17/08/2019 22:02

I was asking for advice on rules around how much you should text. He texts me everyday about normal day to day things, as it’s a FB I don’t feel that’s right. So I turn it to sex more to steer the chat away. I then get off on it.

It was advice I was after, as I’m concerned he may see it as more @ginmel

putastrawunderbaby · 17/08/2019 22:42

Date with Mr Delivery was awful. So many red flags.

Mr Karate seems to be losing interest and Mr Hat has also slowed right down in messaging. Sigh.

Original poster
Ginmel · 17/08/2019 23:03

Okay I'd misread. As @CassettesAreCool said there are no general rules but what works for each couple. My best FWB relationships have been when comms has been really clear on both sides, not surprisingly. You need to talk to to him about a) making sure he knows this is just fbs and you don't want it to go further b) decide how much comms you want between meets. I like every few days or so including about non sexual stuff, others barely speak and don't speak about non sexual stuff. Doesn't sound like you two are on the same page so you need to resolve it. You need to decide also what you are comfortable with - your rules.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginmel · 17/08/2019 23:04

@putastraw sorry to hear about the date and other irons. It's tiring isn't it?

OP posts:
Bettyboobies · 17/08/2019 23:07

I will chat with him @ginmel thank you. It’s my first FB and wasn’t sure how it should work. I assumed just sex with odd texts to meet up or sexual chat between. He’s not a FWB very much just a FB. I need to make this clear to him.

Original poster
Ginmel · 17/08/2019 23:19

Yep that would sound like a typical FB to me.

I've just binned mr T for twat. Wasn't irrational. He was being a jerk and I've no tolerance of that esp just for FWBs

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginmel · 18/08/2019 08:39

New day, new iron. Yay for fab. Mr Dog and I shall meet later this week. I love dogs.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ginmel · 18/08/2019 08:51

I am quite proud of myself for ditching Mr twat. In the past I'd probably have tried to resolve why he was being a jerk but after giving him a yellow card I realised things weren't going to improve.

I only want to meet people who's will treat me well and especially at the beginning. Mr Dog is out in front on that already and much more local

OP posts:
Ant330 · 18/08/2019 09:12

So you should be Ginmel if somebody's behaving like a twat at the start it's not going to get any better is it 😂

Ant330 · 18/08/2019 09:14

Gymandtonic how do you know he was on a date rather than just having pizza with his brother?

Original poster
Ginmel · 18/08/2019 09:19

Thanks Ant and exactly right. The reasons would inevitably cause the break up later too.

@JeSuisPrest when you are back can you remember a quote you may posted about what your instinct is telling you are wrong now are the reasons you'll break up later? Apparently you posted it re mr abs

OP posts:
Savoretti · 18/08/2019 09:20

@Gymandtonic25 was just about to say the same as ant. Easy to get cynical but maybe he was telling the truth?

Original poster
Ginmel · 18/08/2019 09:23

@gymtonic it's a bit odd he was on the phone with you but seemingly not with his brother. If someone is with me I want them to be with me and not on the phone.

OP posts:
kerkyra · 18/08/2019 09:25

I've decided not to meet Mr mk after all,which is a shame as he sounds great.
He is twenty five miles away,works very long hours and has his child every weekend at the moment so cant really see it working.
Chatting to Mr chunk at the moment,who is more available. so will see if I can get a date sooner than later as all this messaging before a meet really doesnt mean much and gets my hopes up!

Ant330 · 18/08/2019 09:32

putastraw glad to hear the profile changes worked. I think the word I used was niche not hippy 😂
Great updates from Focus and woo 😁
HarmlessChap quite often reality does not match the expectation, so it's great that your 1st date went well.

Original poster
Ginmel · 18/08/2019 09:37

Good luck today @Ant330

OP posts:
CassettesAreCool · 18/08/2019 09:46

gym it didn't sound like he was definitely on a date but you know him and we don’t. What struck me in your post though was that you felt ‘worthless’ as a result. Your sense of self-worth shouldn’t be tied to someone you barely know, surely? The rules about a thick skin and not over-investing apply I think.

Ant330 · 18/08/2019 09:48

Thanks Ginmel honestly I'm not that bothered now. It's been almost 4 weeks since we saw each other last, I think I'm over it.
And we're interring my mum's ashes tomorrow so that's on my mind far more than she is.

putastrawunderbaby · 18/08/2019 09:58

@Ant330 I think we both know what you meant Grin
Hope the next couple of days go smoothly for you.

Original poster
Ginmel · 18/08/2019 09:59

@Ant330 whatever works for you. Sounds like your head is clearer on her now.
And most of all, sorry to read about tomorrow. I'm sure that puts a lot of perspective on things. You'll certainly deserve your holiday after all that.

OP posts:
putastrawunderbaby · 18/08/2019 10:00

@ginmel yes it's very tiring. This date had no basic manners either - on his phone every 5 minutes. Well done for ditching Mr T. Onwards and upwards!

Original poster
Ginmel · 18/08/2019 10:08

@putastraw that's so rude. Onwards and upwards indeed

OP posts:
notmrscookie · 18/08/2019 10:27

So fed up Has a date .. not sure so carried on chatting I suggested first date..No 2 nd date came but polite chat ...He then said I can't be bothered doing all the chasing .Yes I know it's 2019 but put a bit of effort in...2 nd guy exchange numbers for what's app ..He calls with no notice and domains when I move rooms... Calls me wierd but wants more.. I blocked him.and he re invented himself on Pof... I just can't be a good one ..

Gymandtonic25 · 18/08/2019 11:12

I just think it's such an obvious change in texting patterns, and being on the phone in front of me on a few dates made me a little suspicious 🤔 If he was with his brother he could text no? I am over investing, I just haven't liked someone this much for a long time. He is back to messaging me early this morning and I can't help but be a little cold with him. I need to get a grip