Dating thread 166: Who dates wins

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Congratulations @Focus2019. That’s so exciting. I’m very pleased for you.

My MrSG is Slightly Ginger. But I’m too lazy to type it out. 😂

When I was a PG at university a couple of my male friends went speed dating. They invited me and a couple of other women along but I declined, pointing out that we’d just reduce their odds of meeting anyone (and vice versa). None of us wanted to date each other. 😆

My not really dating news is that I put my house on the market (it went on rightmove on Saturday) and spent the week doing millions of viewings (only a slight exaggeration). I accepted an offer today from FTBs for more than I paid for it (only a year ago). MrSG and I are looking at a house 2 streets away tomorrow. We might buy it. We’re going on holiday on Monday, so it’d be good to have living arrangements (kind of) sorted out before we go.

It’s MrSG’s birthday next week too (one ending in a zero at that). It seems several of us are dating men born in August.

@woomawang who is our mystical person to tell us more about that lol??
I’d love to try speed dating think I’d know in a milli second! Next!!!!

Also congrats on the house that is amazing!! So exciting

I’m mostly glad that I don’t have to do any more viewings. There have been 24 viewings of it in the last 7 days. 24!!!

@woomawang 24, bloody hell!

@Marlboroandmalbec34 It’s cheating really as it’s only twice each, but four sounds better!

Exciting news x2 @woomawang

Advice please

What do people do about messages from people that aren't interested in? Do you reply to let them down gently?
It feels rude to just ignore them, but on the other hand i don't really want to risk getting into a conversation when it's going nowhere

what do people find are the pitfalls with kik??

FaB has been interesting an d very busy, lol

@iris27 I think it's best to just ignore on apps like POF and Hinge where messaging is open. If you've matched (i.e. both swiped right), then its a bit more rude, but it's quite common. Sometimes, folks (especially women I believe) are dealing with too many matches, so use those as a downselect and then chat to a much smaller selection.

Huge congratulations @Focus2019! That's wonderful!
@woomawang exciting times ahead!
@trustmygut these people are skilful in what they do or no-one would ever fall for it. I'm sorry that happened to you.

I keep forgetting to update before I go on dates, but there have been three: Mr Undertaker, who was about as jolly as his name suggests, Mr Theatre, who ought to have been related to Christopher Biggins - it was uncanny, and Mr Baker who worked so hard he could only ever meet someone between 4pm and 8pm on Saturdays . Anyway, moving on, I have a date tomorrow with Mr Delivery, and two irons - Mr Karate and Mr Hat.

Since making my profile totally bland I've had a lot more messages, so thank you to the men here that told me to take all my hippy interests off my profile gave me feedback.

Me and mr U(nsuitable) share a birthday and it's in a couple of weeks. That's so outing. I haven't thought about a present was just going to make a cake.

@WooMaWang that's incredible re your house. I've had a nightmare. I had 3 viewings in 6 months. No interest at all. It's not overpriced and it's quite a nice house. I don't like it but it's in a very popular style. So I took it off for a bit. I assume it's the Brexit effect. There's not a lot to buy either though. I assume you're not in London the market is beyond dead. It's so frustrating because until we sell we can't sort out the financial settlement and we can't divorce. And exH has stuff there, tools etc and it's stopping us moving on.

Ooh and @Focus2019 what was your iron/fiancée called? I might remember more then! That's amazing. Congrats!

Well I got back from my date with Ms SkinnyBlonde, the lady ive ben talking and texting with for the last 2 weeks. Loads of chemistry, we alredy knew there was quite a bond forming with the length of time we had spoken on the phone, but it was great that there is a strong physical attraction too.

It didn't seem like a 1st date, we ended up at hers, dtd and it was amazing.

All is looking very promising.

Oooh sounds good Harmless.

Peanutz I feel your pain re the house sale - I'm in London too. Mine is under offer but it's taken years (not helped by fuckwit ex who made, unlawfully and unilaterally, some stupid decisions. It took the threat of court to make him see sense).

@HarmlessChap that is awesome!

It's lovely to read some positive stories. Congratulations Focus, and WooMaWang.

I had date 2 with Mr IT last night. Now I'm in the same position as I was after the first date. Totally confused about whether he likes me.

Quick recap. First date went well but I felt I wasn't quite right for him. Sent a "lovely to meet you" text the next day and got one back. On the advice of the thread I waited and the next day he messaged again. So I asked if he wanted to meet again.

Date two. He gave me a big hug and kiss on the cheek when he arrived. We chatted for ages and I ended up missing my bus. So he offered me a lift home. Got to my house and he said " have a lovely weekend". Then there was an awkward moment when you're thinking kiss or no kiss. So I leaned in a bit for a kiss and he did at the same time but then he turned his head and just gave me a kiss on the cheek.

There was no other physical contact between us during the date. I'm not very tactile so it can put me off if a date keeps touching me. But this felt more like drinks with a mate.

And now I don't know what to do. Wait again and see if he gets in touch? Or ask for a third date and see what he says?

My texting woes are irritating me. Mr SwissGetaway is being very quiet since the euphoria of getting in touch and agreeing to go. It is very much a FWB sitch but I would like a bit of build up before we meet in two weeks. Purely for escapism, you understand. Conversation is stilted as he only has data at his villa.

@EchoElephant if you're not very tactile and he's a bit introverted/less confident, the combo will make it a challenge. He'll either need some overt signals, or have patience he will make a move.

I'm like this unfortunately.

@EchoElephant on my first date with MrTall we got about halfway through and I said 'if you're not going to make a move then I will' and went in for a full on snog. I was a bit pissed though and so was he. Was a lovely kiss though...only thing we can't remember much after that!

@RickDeckard I always let the man make the first move. And it was nice to meet someone who wasn't too forward. But it's just left me a bit confused.
If you were in this situation what would you do next?
I know he's busy all weekend, so I'm unlikely to hear from him. And I have no patience, so I want to know where I stand.

@kermitrulesok even after a few drinks I couldn't do that.
I touched his arm a couple of times as we were walking along. But I got nothing in return.

Well after nothing coming of the flake MrTall&Beardy I got chatting again with the iron I put off nicely and have a date arranged for the end of next week when kids are away 😊

echo I wouldn't ask him for a date. Leave it with him to initiate. Are there other signs be fancies you? I dated someone a while ago who didn't kiss me until about the 5th date. It turned out he was just very nervous. He had told me he thought I was attractive and showed my photo to his friends etc.

Wow focus this is fast work. Is there a reason you are getting married this quickly? Have you both been married before. Wishing you a lovely and happy wedding day!! Congrats.

woo I know you had a name change but I can't remember who you were! How long have you been with your iron. Buying together is huge. Congrats.

Bad case of post holiday blues and missing Mr S. Reading Mr Unavailable has helped me to see things weren't really as I imagined them. Seeing Mr B for fun tomorrow. So something to look forward to.

@EchoElephant he's gone on a 2nd date, he likes you and finds you attractive. He's probably more confused about you than you are about him.