Please stop me texting him again

[PlipPlop7clocks]

So I have a bit of an on/off, does he/doesn’t he relationship with a close male friend. I texted him on Tuesday night suggesting we catch up the following day but he never replied. It was a light, breezy, fun message. There is no reason why he shouldn’t have replied.

I’m making all kinds of excuses for him. Maybe he never saw the message. Maybe it never arrived. Maybe he’s upset with me for some reason. Maybe he doesn’t feel the way I thought he felt about me. Maybe he’s trying to tell me to go away without actually saying it.

I’m normally the kind of person that would follow up with another text a few days later but I’m pretty sure this guy knows exactly how I feel about him. He likes having me as an admirer. He likes the ego boost. He likes never having to initiate contact because I always give in and text him first.

So my plan is not to send another message. To just wait.

Please help me stay strong.

He hasn't text to see if you are ok.

Move on lovely. Find someone who likes you back.

Do not text! If you do and he doesn't reply again, you will feel even more shit.

Don't text! Why would you? He's not arsed so why should you be?

2.5 weeks silence speaks volumes. He really doesn't care about you as a friend (and definitely not more that a friend) he's made it very clear.

I can't believe you're still considering texting him, please don't embarrass yourself,

Why would you even ask that?! You were doing so well.

Move on.
Don’t chase.

I know. I’m just having a small wobble. I knew that you would help to keep me strong!

This requires being blunt. No!!!!

I think you have one option, don't text.

Are you wanting this heartache to continue? You'll be a glutton for punishment.

Fool me once & all that....

He won't know how much time's went in between contact. He didn't reply to you last time.

I once had exactly the same
In my 20s (I'm now 40) sort of thought he was my soul mate (he so wasn't) but I had the love drug.
We spent every day together (we did kiss a couple of times)
I had a new ish girlfriend and really wanted to introduce her to him as she knew how smitten I was. I realised at 2am she was groping Under the table and they shagged that night !!
I wrote him a gentle letter saying that he hurt me/ emotionally led me on. (Obvs I cut her out) . He never apologised / got in touch again. Stay strong, you just don't need that kind of person in your life, it will only go on repeat and you will damage yourself.

I hurt for a while and thought about him but now am happily married to a real man and have 2 lovely children.

It will all work out.
He won't get in touch I don't think bit ignore if he does. That way you win! I felt I did as I made the choice to cut him out.

Dont square up for another round of this!!

@perdigal, wow, he really showed his lack of decency, commitment, loyalty, empathy and decorum there. I bet thst was tough at the time.

How awful perdigal. He sounds like a nightmare.

I suppose I’m worried that he never got the message and he thinks I have dropped him and ghosted him. And he’s too proud or embarrassed or whatever to get in touch either.

Oh ffs. If he wants to talk he will be all over you. He doesn’t : he isn’t.

Stop making up reasons

Call instead of text?

Go and knock on his door?

Or don't text him and then you won't have to worry if/when he doesn't text back.

I suppose I’m worried that he never got the message and he thinks I have dropped him and ghosted him. And he’s too proud or embarrassed or whatever to get in touch either

Really? If he was bothered, he'd have messaged you by now. His silence speaks volumes OP.

Sounds like a FWB situation to me OP??

He's not too proud, he relishes in the fact you're "one of his admirers"
Stop making excuses up, you're making them up on his behalf. Meanwhile he's nowhere to be seen. He's not defending his corner because he has a lack of interest.

If he wanted to talk to you, he would. There's no other way about it. You've not done anything to prevent him.

he’s too proud or embarrassed or whatever to get in touch either.

OP I'm sorry I'm saying this to be kind. I've had similar situations in the past and literally gone half insane over it when waiting for a text back. It really does sound like he's just not that into you.

I demand you go out somewhere nice for the day or if you can't today make plans when you next can. Something really awesome that you can look forward to. To take your mind off of him a bit.

.... or just ask him. Ask him if he feels the same way. Ask him out in a date. That way yes the friendship may be over, you may be. Left embarrassed a bit if he doesn't return your feeling but at least you can stop torturing yourself and will never wonder 'what if'.

I did this and it was awful at the time. So humiliating and I lost a group of friends.

In retrospect I realise I did nothing wrong. He was a knob who relished in my embarrassment. It fed his ego. All the friends that joined him in snubbing me, in retrospect were never my friends. It was awful but I picked myself up, made new, better friendships and was able to move on.

Just try not to think about it @PlipPlop7clocks

Your friend told you what this guy is like.
Please you need to accept that this is in your head, he cares nothing for you...
Look up the pick me game, as his other love see him every morning in the mirror when he shaves...

Why would he be too proud or embarrassed to send a quick text if he is a genuine friend?

You texted him didn’t you?

No, I didn’t text him.