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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bollocks, he's invited his friend to our 'date'

155 replies

wellthatsdeflating · 30/07/2019 16:25

He's not interested after all is he? I met a guy I really liked, friend of a friend. I thought we got on really well, lots of laughs, stuff in common. I was pretty taken with him tbh. After some effort of getting in touch with him again, I asked him if he would to got to see a film with me tonight. He agreed - it was by text - I asked my friend to pass on my number so he could get in touch if he wanted to go with me ( I was going to see the film anyway) - so he could have easily just ignored the text or sent a text blowing me off. But he said he couldn't make that showing but could another, I said I could make the alternate date and he said 'good news that you can make that date'. I was really excited thinking he was interested in me too. But just picked up a text from him saying his male friend is coming along too!.

It couldn't be clearer that he is signalling he is not interested. I'd have rather he just blew me off from the start. I've just spent ages getting ready - I'm all dressed and made up (well, as much as you can for a cinema date), and now I feel really stupid for making the effort.

Maybe I should bloody change and dress down so I don't humiliate myself further. Should I dress down?

So fucking upset. He's the first guy I have liked since my marriage failed. I really liked him - he seemed such a good egg. Bollocks.

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 02/08/2019 09:51

Well played! But my free advice is never dress up for a first date. Obviously look good by stealth but if you wear your good stuff straight away you've left yourself nowhere to go if you see more of him.

Signed, An Expert :)

wellthatsdeflating · 02/08/2019 15:01

I defer to your wisdom @MorrisZapp Smile

MustshowDH, Yes, the problem is finding where the 'next' will come from. I feel like I have exhausted all current avenues from my social circle. I need to get me a new hobby! (Can't yet face the horrors of internet dating. I'm still trying to go old school...).

OP posts:
AskEvans · 03/08/2019 21:44

Joining something new is a very good idea - I met my BF at a creative writing group I joined. There are lots of things you can join/go to on your own that lots of other people will also be going to on their own so you don't feel awkward.

AskEvans · 03/08/2019 21:47

Do you have the meetup app? That's very useful for finding out what is going on in your local area.

JemimaPuddlePeacock · 04/08/2019 05:06

Internet date alongside meeting people offline! I know very few people these days who meet their partners not online, it’s just such a crapshoot to hope you’ll run across the right person at the right time who wants the same things as you and is compatible and likes you as much etc. Online dating is ace as you have a smorgasbord of options. Go on a couple first dates each week, take it lightly and do it alongside trying to date in other ways, but you’d be a fool to pass up on literally hundreds of single guys looking for someone just because it’s via a dating site.

Currently have pregnancy insomnia and my ridiculously awesome fiancé (been together three years, getting married next month) is fast asleep next to me in our house we bought a few months ago, found him on tinder!

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