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Original poster

Bollocks, he's invited his friend to our 'date'

155 replies

wellthatsdeflating · 30/07/2019 16:25

He's not interested after all is he? I met a guy I really liked, friend of a friend. I thought we got on really well, lots of laughs, stuff in common. I was pretty taken with him tbh. After some effort of getting in touch with him again, I asked him if he would to got to see a film with me tonight. He agreed - it was by text - I asked my friend to pass on my number so he could get in touch if he wanted to go with me ( I was going to see the film anyway) - so he could have easily just ignored the text or sent a text blowing me off. But he said he couldn't make that showing but could another, I said I could make the alternate date and he said 'good news that you can make that date'. I was really excited thinking he was interested in me too. But just picked up a text from him saying his male friend is coming along too!.

It couldn't be clearer that he is signalling he is not interested. I'd have rather he just blew me off from the start. I've just spent ages getting ready - I'm all dressed and made up (well, as much as you can for a cinema date), and now I feel really stupid for making the effort.

Maybe I should bloody change and dress down so I don't humiliate myself further. Should I dress down?

So fucking upset. He's the first guy I have liked since my marriage failed. I really liked him - he seemed such a good egg. Bollocks.

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 30/07/2019 17:06

Whatever way it plays out, you are extending your social circle. Go and enjoy yourself, you never know. Good Luck

OhioOhioOhio · 30/07/2019 17:07

Good luck. :)

BurningTheToast · 30/07/2019 17:09

I think Venus might be right. Go - dressed down a bit - and enjoy the film. Go for a drink with them too and you never know what might happen.

Maybe his friend will turn out to be the man of your dreams, maybe he's just feeling awkward and doesn't know whether you're interested or not, maybe neither of them are the man of your dreams but you'll have a couple of new mates and widened your social circle a bit.

And while the cinema isn't always a great first date venue, it's a good way to find out if they're the sort of person who talks during the film, or looks at their phone or rootles for the good chocs in the bag of Revels. Good way to filter out those people.

livefornaps · 30/07/2019 17:10

I am definitely going to need to know what happens here

Cosentyx · 30/07/2019 17:12

If you were going to the film I'd just go anyway and dress down.

BlessedBeTheFruitCake · 30/07/2019 17:14

Enjoy the film whatever happens.

Sundancer77 · 30/07/2019 17:16

Go! We need to know what happens 🤣
It’s a strange one as he went out of his way to text that he wanted to go..but to bring a friend along 🤷‍♀️I’m not sure 🤔
Dress down a little, maybe jeans, nice top, some make up, natural hair..see what becomes of it, I don’t think it means he’s nevessarily not interested at all.

verticality · 30/07/2019 17:16

Go and just enjoy the film - plenty more fish in the sea. You may even come out with two new possibly gay friends. Wink

aquarianaura · 30/07/2019 17:18

I wouldn't write it off yet! For our first "date" my DP asked me if I wanted to go for a drink with him and some people from work. When I got to the pub it was just him and one mate from work and it was very clear he'd only brought him cos he was nervous about me saying no if it was just us two! Anyway, it worked out well, said friend pretty much left us to it fairly quickly.

I think we forget that men can be idiots when they get nervous. Give him a chance.

ImMeantToBeWorking · 30/07/2019 17:21

You asked your mutual friend to go, maybe your crush knows this (I assume he does as mutual friend prob said something along the lines of "ABC invited us to go see XXX but I can't make it, she wants to know if you want to go too?") If I got a message like this I would not straight away assume that the person inviting us to the cinema fancies me!! Your crush might think you fancy mutual friend??

For all you know your crush might like you, but he doesn't want to go to the cinema with you alone, in case you don't like him. Stay dressed up, and see how it goes. Its all you can do at this stage!

Text him afterwards and say that you enjoyed it, and that maybe you might meet up alone the next time? Your response will tell you all you need to know.

bobstersmum · 30/07/2019 17:22

Are you up for a threesome op?

Taswama · 30/07/2019 17:23

Good luck

Gustavo1 · 30/07/2019 17:25

🤞🏻 Hope you guys hit it off again. If not, at least you’ll not be sat awkwardly at a meal. Maybe he is bringing a mate as back up. Some people feel better having a buddy, especially if he’s unsure whether it’s a date or not!

mindutopia · 30/07/2019 17:26

Maybe he felt awkward and wasn’t sure if it was a date?

Anyway, once the guy I was dating (like we had been dating and having sex regularly for 2 months at that point!) invited another woman he was also dating on our date! We had planned to go to a wine tasting event with his brother and his partner (who I knew). I don’t know if he forgot who he invited and accidentally invited us both? I was young and in such shock I just stood there for 2 hours sipping Pinot Noir and listening to her tell me all about their recent dates. I was literally paralysed and couldn’t even react. Thankfully there was unlimited wine! 🍷

TheNightof1000Fans · 30/07/2019 17:27

Checking in....

overnightangel · 30/07/2019 17:27

Going to need an update later Op, good luck!

MustShowDH · 30/07/2019 17:27

Need to know how it goes!

Rubbinghimsweetly2 · 30/07/2019 17:28

Get dressed up again and knock his socks off op. It's not clear it was a date. I think he's bringing his friend because he thought you were bringing yours and didn't want to be a gooseberry. He likes you otherwise why would he go.

You'll kick yourself tomorrow if you don't and your head will still be wrecked with something else.

31RueCambon · 30/07/2019 17:31

Id call it off and say why quite honestlytoo. Id feel like id been given a mixed message there, or that i was pitied. No point

picklemepopcorn · 30/07/2019 17:33

I hate to be nosy but.... I'm nosy. Just hanging around to see what happens next.

You did really well to invite him out, and it's great you got on well. It's early doors- maybe he's just playing safe.

Zoflorabore · 30/07/2019 17:33

Is it Annabel you're watching op? Ds has gone to watch that tonight with his friends...

This may be the start of something amazing, it may just be a one off, who knows? The exciting part is the not knowing. Enjoy yourself, it will certainly be an experience Grin

Boilingfrog · 30/07/2019 17:34

Just go and be relaxed, charming and nice go all. You need not be embarrassed then and you never know what might happen.

Pollyhops · 30/07/2019 17:37

I’d go and see what happens.

PurpleSproutingSomething · 30/07/2019 17:38

@mindutopia fair play to you for staying, did he say anything about why you were both there?

Preggosaurus9 · 30/07/2019 17:38

He definitely doesn't think it's a date if he's invited his mate! He might even have thought you were bringing a bunch of different mates too! Hope you are having fun