Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

Exactly Tinsel, I keep thinking what could I have done differently but I know deep down that the reasons he gave me were just excuses to try and off load his guilt at what he's done. He's trying to prove that he made the right decision and has pushed me away and cut me off completely. It hurts a lot now but I am doing better, I just want their relationship to not work, especially as it was built on cheating....

Also I remembered that the week before he cheated, we were at my friends and he got very drunk and was being so chatty and honest (e.g. saying some nice things about me that he hasn't said in person!) And I think if he really had an issue, surely that would have been the opportune moment to bring it up? With the extra drunk confidence etc he would have been able to say it

Ugh it’s horrible!! I read an article right at the start of why men fall out of love and this one rang fairly true. He said he doesn’t know why and I believe him (he just does not lie, ever, which is why he couldn’t go on with our relationship) but yeah I think probably it was just never real love. It hurts to know that whilst he probably does miss me a little bit, he is probably fine now. Whereas I miss him as my friend, as someone I used to talk to every day even before we were together, as well as my boyfriend. I know if I texted him he would be happy enough to chat but I’m not ready for that so just staying silent.

I'm going to the pub with some friends tonight where he lives, and he's not been invited. Can't help but feel smug

I'm reading that article and thinking that hopefully he will lose the infatuation he has with her at the moment once the passion has died down! I realised he was the same with me, over the top to start then once comfortable ditched me. It will happen.

Accidentally just had a daydream that we got back together now I’m sad.

It's horrible thinking of the what ifs and maybes and why do men seem to move on so fast?
But I think it's because some men can't be on their own, were as I'm fine I've always been independent, but it's still lonely.
I think what makes it harder is that we have kids together and he rings daily to ask how they are and then he talks to me about his job and stuff, so it's like we're friends, but in the past I've always read too much into these conversations.

Ugh I am officially having a Bad Day. Just can’t stop thinking about how much I miss him

It's got to get worse before it gets better

I’ve definitely gone a couple of steps back. I just want him to change his mind so much. No not even that really, as it would probably always be fucked now. I just want this to have never happened and for it all to be the same as it was before when he still loved me.

I still haven’t heard anything off my Ex. He’s completely cut me and his own child off. I really can’t feel sad anymore I’m just so pissed off with him. My mum and nan have come for tea tonight and they’re supporting me but I still feel so lonely

Mummykraken how long since he lost saw your child? Are they old enough to notice his absence? Such a shitty thing to do

@Moominfan almost 3 weeks, he’s 2 so is noticing. I just don’t know what to say to him.

Had a massive sobbing session this evening - we went out for a family pub meal except it was literally around the corner from his house, having a bad day anyway and fucked me up to know I was so close to him. Feeling marginally better now but still pretty shit, definitely taken a step back. I’ve got my nieces tomorrow tho so hoping that will help jolt me out of it a bit.

And @MummyMcCracken I’m so sorry for what you are going through, at least I’ve only got myself to worry about - must be awful. No helpful advice though I’m afraid

Does anyone else find the stupidest things are ruined now? I like watching dash cam videos but now sometimes I’m fine, other times I remember about how we used to watch them together and also when we went on our one and only holiday and were driving on the motorway (I don’t live in the UK and we don’t have motorways so that’s not quite as tenuous a link as it may seem!) and then I get sad and have to stop watching!

So sorry MummyMcracken, he sounds like a scum bag

Tonight I went to the pub with some friends, it was round the corner from his house and I felt a bit sad knowing that but I haven't cried yet today. It was nice to have a laugh! Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend for dinner too at his house, should be nice

Onwards & upwards. As sad as it seems, you have to tell yourself "they're not coming back. Why should you be miserable when they're happy?" and remind yourself of all of the bad points. One day they will be crying over this and living with regret, and we'll be carefree.

@TinselAndKnickers that’s so weird that we both ended up round the corner from their houses! I had a shite time so hoping for a better day tomorrow! Well done on the no crying!

I’m pleased with myself as last night was the first night in three weeks that I haven’t had a big drink! Was using it to numb myself but I think it made me sadder.
Btw I’m on the hunt for breakup songs for my playlist (see other thread) if anyone has any good suggestions.

Feeling really bad today, just want to talk to him. I wont of course but I'm sad I've had such a down turn. I think it's the thought that he would have been with her last night and Wednesday nights were the nights we spent together so it's like he's just completely replaced me. Feel so so down :(

@cheezy that’s good! I’m not a big drinker anyway but I’m avoiding drink. I know in the long run I’ll feel worse and I don’t want to end up texting him or anything

jonsnow I’m sorry you’re feeling worse today, I had such a bad day yesterday. And the weekend is going to suck as I basically lived at his on weekends. I’m especially going to notice next week when I’m back at work coz he used to pick me up. It’s horrible when you have to do something that is different to the routine you had made isn’t it?

Weekends are definitely the worst as he was always at mine from friday until sunday :( and that was literally from the word go, we spent every weekend together for a year and a half and now I am left in my own whilst he gets to spend his weekends doing fun stuff with someone else. I'm so sad that he does not miss me at all or never even thinks of me because he has someone to fill the space where I am not

Yes we were the same, the first couple of weekends I’d pop back home now and again but afterwards I was just there all weekend and it sucks being back into my old routine, going to try and find stuff to do to keep me busy.
As I said my ex doesn’t have anyone else but I still don’t think he’s going to miss me this weekend or wish I was there but we will be fine, we’ll make new routines

We were just totally ingrained from so early on so I know he will be the same with her. I trusted him so completely, he even looked after my pets when I was away for a few days, staying at mine, going to check on my horse even though he knew nothing about horses when he met me. I feel so cheated (literally and figuratively!!) Out of a life that I was living, and happiness. I know you shouldn't rely on others to make you happy but he did make me happy