Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

Just been on Insta to see my ex has followed a load of girls and been liking their week old selfies. Oh dear looks like he's going for the rebound quicker than I thought - clearly don't love me that much you shit.

Daisy wish I could help but I'm still wallowing about!

I’ll join. It’s been three weeks now. Very up and down and generally very sad and anxious, feel like I’ve lost my future. Very worried about finding a good man before my ovaries expire. I’m drinking too much and pushing everyone away. It’s a terrible grief

Well at least I can think that his relationship is a rebound (or overlap?!) So hopefully it won't last.. also I was thinking how did he know she was more tactile than I am, they must have had a great time getting to know each other whilst I was sat at home waiting. He was texting/sending me videos right up until whatever happened (they were at a gig together with some other friends, she is a friend of his friends so its oh so convenient as she lives closer and is already part of the group 🙄) URGH I hate that I think about them together all the time.

Grief is the best way to describe it. I thought I'd finally found someone who accepted me for who I am, who I could be completely comfortable around, who didnt mind my pets and hobby 😅 and I'm so worried I wont find that again.

@cheezy how long were you together?

I feel the same about not finding anyone who knows me inside out! Rubbish

It is scary to wonder if you’ll ever find anyone you can be that comfortable with isn’t it? I never thought I’d be so completely at ease with another person (especially in terms of sex) and the idea of not having that again is horrible.

Especially when you read all the horror stories on here, and realise that you had such a good one :(

I had such a lovely boyfriend. His only flaw was the fact that he wasn’t in love with me

Oh dear it’s so sad
Four years @herbsmokedchicken
Not so long in the scheme of things but long enough. I suppose nothing in life if guaranteed. We must keep onwards and upwards. for all us broken hearted

Just been having a bit of a weep. Feel a bit pathetic as it was only ten months but they were a very intense ten months. Plus I’ve never been dumped or had a relationship end before. I just hate this so much. I don’t want to wish my life away but i just want it to be two months down the line and further into the healing process.

All men are lovely till they're not! My break up was lovely then afterwards he's turned into something I never knew him as. 5 years with a stranger it seems!!

Chin up everybody we will get there

Me too - I’m a few days in. Haven’t told any of my family yet, just one close friend. He seems to think it’s all on his terms and says we will talk soon but I can’t do it. I’m heartbroken.

@TinselAndKnickers wow wish I had your strength!

After my weeping session, I’m now feeling ok! Im at a really weird stage where I pootle along feeling mostly ok and normal, albeit with an underlying, constant feeling of sadness, and then suddenly I break down and feel like my life is over. And then I’m ok and repeat...
@HollyDollyLolly telling people is horrible isn’t it? I’m not at work right now but dreading telling people when I’m back next week - I’m not planning to make a huge announcement or anything but I talk about him a lot so it’s going to get said at some point. Just going to feel a bit stupid after banging on about him all this time and now I’m going to have to be like oh actually he doesn’t want me anymore
How long were you together?

Hi, can I join too please? 3 weeks in from leaving H for his controlling behaviour and temper. Am completely numb, feel nothing for him. Have left him in rental house which I pay all the bills on. Had to block him tonight with all the nasty texts. He keeps making out he's going to top himself to get me to reply.

On and off and on and off again, would love a clean break

@herbsmokedchicken - I feel exactly the same, and same re. work! First day back tomorrow after some annual leave so inevitably people will ask and notice when he’s not mentioned. Absolutely dreading it, although I can normally stick a brave face on over my personal life at work so we shall see. Just short of 10 years.

@HollyDollyLolly hopefully you don’t have lots of nosy people at your work! Mostly I’ll be able to just do a short “we’ve split actually” and I think people will get the hint and leave it be but I know one very well meaning woman will be all bereft and possible try to hug me
I really do feel pathetic now with my little ten month relationship but I honestly thought it was forever. Can already tell we were both being very naive.
I wish I could stop hoping he will change his mind. Even tho logically, if he did it probably wouldn’t work now anyway, he’d either realise he def doesn’t love me and was right the first time, or id be so paranoid of it happening again, I’d end up sabotaging it as self fulfilling prophecy.
He won’t change his mind though. He didn’t rush into this or make the decision lightly. He just doesn’t love me in that way anymore.

Hiya!, can I join the club?. We've been together almost 7 years and have a 2 year old DS. He cheated on me and has now left me for the OW and decided he wants nothing to do with his son as I apparently trapped him into being a dad. It's 2 weeks in and everything is still so raw, our son has no idea where his daddy is and I don't know what to tell him.

I am not that strong! Feel like I'm not enough for him all of a sudden. I love him very much

Going to use this thread as a sort of journal. Welcome newbies sorry you are here

It feels good to have support, my friends have been very sympathetic as they’ve all done this before but they are also very busy, in happy relationships, so they don’t have the time to reply to every text, especially as a lot of it is just me repeating myself.

@herbskokedchicken - no you aren’t pathetic at all, the length of time doesn’t change the emotions you feel.

Hopefully your huggy woman keeps her distance 🤣

And I think those feelings of wishing and hoping things will fix are completely normal too - even if you know the relationship was wrong, you still feel the same:

The journal is a fab idea - helps process your thoughts I guess !

@HollyDollyLolly thanks! It’s just difficult, Friday he came round to give me my stuff and we ended up having a chat and going for a spin like we used to before we got together and we actually had such a good time - it’s bizarre to me that we can still have such an amazing connection and yet not be together. Holding off on any further contact for now tho but I’m hopeful we can be friends in the end.

I say good time, I cried a lot too