Break up support thread

[TinselAndKnickers]

Anyone else going through a breakup?

I'm a week into it. It was nearly 4 years together and it's ended because we lost communication and we just can't do it anymore, it's not the right time. He's said never say never and we've done the stuff swap over so I know I have to accept it and move on. But we love each other and have a lot of respect, so the goodbye was very hard to do. We might reconnect in future but for now we're NC.

Anyone else want a pity party/support thread?

I know what you mean, I’m two and a half weeks in so know I have a way to go but I just want to be OK! It’s the first time I’ve wished summer away cos time passing means I’m closer to feeling better.

Yep Im missing work!

Did any of you read that post I posted before? I’ll try and see how to download the link. X

thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2018/06/how-to-get-over-someone-the-ultimate-guide-to-releasing-attachments-reinventing-yourself-and-opening-your-life-to-new-love/

Don’t know how to make it look all nice lol

@Pittlepops Ive just finished reading it,brilliant and insightful article,and actually a very helpful one! Thank you

@herbsmokedchicken you got it in a link. How did you do that? I need to save it aswell.
I’m glad you like it. It made me a little bit more positive today x

I just copied and pasted the link and put it in between

I need to read it again more fully but some of the stuff about not committing like introducing to parents kind of rang true - I know he genuinely believed he loved me but in hindsight I think his subconscious knew it wasn’t going to last.

And he did love me, and I think he will always love me, I don’t doubt that, I just don’t think he was ever “in love” with me.

The one that I was looking at was from July 2019, that one if from January. Not sure if it’s the same one I’ll have to read it. X

@herbsmokedchicken so true!

In your screenshot it says June 18! Perhaps just reposted a few times?

Always loved this one and it’s soothing me tonight

Oooh tried to listen but not very good with sad songs at the minute...but I can imagine that it soothing you.
We have SURVIVED another day 😊 we can all do this x

Please may I join?
My relationship has just ended this evening after 3 1/2 years.
We’ve been up and down for pretty much ever really come to think of it but especially this year and now I think that this is really it.
I feel strange.
For the last 6 months I’ve been so emotionally unstable, crying so regularly, feeling suicidal as life has been overwhelming me so much, haven’t known what to do, literally begged for my partner to just love me and talk to me... but now I feel actual relief I think.
I feel so very guilty for feeling this way but I feel ready to re-start life again.

Music and lyrics...how are you?

Welcome musicandlyrics, sounds like it was the right thing but I wonder if emotions might hit you more later so be prepared for that maybe!

I feel appalling this morning and it’s all my fault. Was in bed last night and actually felt OK, instead of enjoying it whilst it lasted and getting some sleep I started poking and prodding my feelings until I ended up really upset then was awake for ages. Once I got to sleep was having really vivid dreams and also woke up a few times. So today I’m absolutely exhausted. Yay. At least it’s Thursday...altho kind of dreading the weekend, the last two were bad enough but I was already out of my routine. Leaving work and not hopping straight into his car and going to his is really going to bring it home.

Hope you're ok music. I'm feeling bad again today, just like I knew I would. It was listening to some music last night which did it, the lyrics got to me. I just miss him so much and want him back, even though it probably wouldnt work. Just want a message from him to see if I'm ok but that won't happen either. It's awful wallowing like this but I can't seem to drag myself out of it sometimes.

I know exactly how you feel jonsnow I know it would probably fall apart due to paranoia on my part or resentment due to the pain he caused, or he would turn around and decide he didn’t love me again, but I still want him back so much. Said earlier on the thread, I know a couple who split for a year or so as they weren’t ready then got back together after they grew as people and are very happy, if I really can’t resist imagining us getting together I try to imagine it being in the future like that so it hurts less when it doesn’t happen immediately.

I also kind of want him to message me but it’s a week today since he last did and it actually made me feel pretty shit tbf!

It's horrible that someone you thought you knew and loved can make you feel so horrible isnt it :( the only thing that keeps me going is that when he did leave, all the stuff he was saying didn't ring true with how he was acting, so just sounded like excuses because the grass looked greener. No pulling away from me or change in behaviour or anything. Makes me think that one day he might realise what he's done.

If I'm not numb, I'm raw. If I'm not missing him, I'm furious with him.
The things he said just to hurt me and the things he said that were true.
I'm not sleeping well, not eating much and not really functioning.
I feel so lonely.
Thanks for being here - we'll get through this.

Yeah it’s just so horrible, and mine isn’t a bad person, he did the right thing and I know he feels awful that he’s hurt me but it’s just so hard to know that we in some ways are still so suited and connected but he just doesn’t want to be with me anymore.

Now my own pain is easing off I actually do feel really sorry for him. His relationship is ended AND he had to hurt someone to do it.

That's true as well, although I doubt he thinks about it as he's off with someone else....he had to hurt someone so much to get to where he is now. He knows how much pain he caused me and he just ran away from dealing with it. Because she is better and not causing him all these negative feelings because of what he'd done.
I'm the same switching between numb, raw, missing him and being so angry. I can't get my head around what he did when everything seemed fine, if he had an issue he had enough opportunities to say :(
Actually feeling a little bit distressed today, it's the only way I can describe it. That I can't just talk to him. I really want to check his social media but I'm absolutely not as i have a feeling it will make me spiral down more.
I hate that he has done this and made me feel this way.

Hello everyone,
I woke up very early, still at my partners house. We both have DC, same sex relationship. And as we were all staying together last night and spoke after the DC were in bed we had to stay.
We have spoken this morning and I feel heartbroken. Have cried again but gone over the same stuff and this really is for the best.
It doesn’t hurt any less though.
How can you share your whole body and soul with someone, be closer to them than anyone you ever have been and then just become strangers again....
It’s so unfair but also so necessary.
She has been emotionally closed with me for months, doesn’t communicate, hates when I get emotional, can’t even look at me allot of the time but tells me she loves me.
I’ve been so confused and felt so unwanted and unloved and she’s not been happy either so going separate ways is the right decision, it just hurts my heart so much.

I have counselling today and I just don’t want to go at all but I have to. Been up since 6am with our toddler who is whiny and there’s so much to do in the house today. I can’t stop thinking about him and the good times we had and how next month for our sons second birthday we won’t wake up together to open his presents then I thought about how Christmas will be the same and blah I’ve just crashed today after a relatively good day yesterday