Does this count as having sex?

[siring1]

I really love DH but an not too keen on sex. We don't have PIV but I will give him a hand job if he wears a condom. We share wonderful intimacy and I happily indulge him in a few kinks he has.

I worry that I'm not doing enough though. He doesn't complain. Do I do enough to count as 'having sex'.

Thought

@Lovemusic33 Me too!

I mean....

You may as well be wearing a pair of yellow Marigolds.

And yes, if you went into the marriage knowing the PIV would end once you got that ring on your finger, then yeah, its fraud.

He could get an annulment for that.

If you havent consummated your marriage it could be annulled!

This reminds me of the Clinton declaration that 'he did not have sex with that woman'. After the blow job.

The true definition of sex between a man and woman is penetration and anything else is a sex act.

Obviously gay people are outside this definition.

I'd do it without the condom tbh,its only semen it wipes off!

Its abit strange op the need for protection when you not having sex. But if you happy with it...its no ones concern but both of yours.

Say what?

How bizarre. Of course it's not sex.

Clinton said he did not have 'sexual relations' with that women which is different to saying he didn't have sex. And which is why he was caught lying.

It’s certainly sexual contact, but it would seem to me to be a bit of an unfulfilling sex life. Making him wear a condom is a bit odd and to be frank possibly quite hurtful to your husband. I know you say your husband seems happy but really what does he get from these encounters he couldn’t just get by wanking himself off? It’s hard to see the “wonderful intimacy” you say you enjoy from these encounters.

I think a trip to the GP and some counselling might be in order to help you with your feelings and also to see if anything can be done about your hormone issues. Of course you don’t have to have sex if you don’t want or like it but it’s hard to see how this is a sustainable sex life longer term x

No it doesn’t count as sex, and I’m finding it extremely difficult to understand why he is wearing a condom.

Yes, non PIV if it suits, of course, but why the condom? To me that would demonstrate a spectacularly unenthusiastic partner, tbh.

That's the issue for me too. PIV being the only 'sex' is very sexist and puts male pleasure above all. It's very likely to result in male orgasm and less likely to result in female orgasm so it's really narrow (and also homophobic) to only count that. However a condom for handjobs does sound clinical and a bit 'eeeuuuuuwwww gross' to be intimate.

Do you get any pleasure in return OP?

@MrsterryPratchet
You can huff and puff as much as you like, but legally and in cases of sexual assault, only intercourse is classed as sex. And that for hetero people is a penis in the vagina.

Opinions don't trounce the law.

MrsTP is not 'huffing and puffing'.

What a weird response.

It’s a sex act, that’s all.

How long since you had intercourse with your partner, OP? I would be concerned he’s getting it someplace else.

MrsTerryPratchett so if you gave a man a hand job. If talking about it, would you class him as someone you had sex with?

Would you tell friends you had sex with him?

Hidingwhoiam I don't think MrsTerryPratchett had anything to say on that.

I'll blow your house don't as well

down dammit

That would have been funny if I could type.

@HollowTalk I am pretty sure that poster can speak (or type for themselevs).

However, I was responding because the post said.

PIV being the only 'sex' is very sexist and puts male pleasure above all. It's very likely to result in male orgasm and less likely to result in female orgasm so it's really narrow (and also homophobic) to only count that.

Which I why I asked my question.

I am pretty sure that poster can speak (or type for themselevs).

I clearly can't type. Although neither can you

@MrsTerryPratchett apologies. I thought I could have a sensible discussion with you.

Obviously not. You just enjoy posting taking the piss out of people who struggle to type, because of disabilities

Well done you

I was trying for some fellow-feeling rather than taking the piss. Hence me saying I couldn't type. and the

Sorry.

It's a sexual act.

It's not sexual intercourse.

I think we all get that.