My mood swings are destroying things

[JessM83]

So really down just now.

At “that” time every month I seem to go crazy for 5/6 days. I just can’t stop myself getting really angry and every time I take it out on my husband.

We all have faults but he really is a great guy. Works full time, does the majority of the shopping and house chores yet this month for example I again have went crazy at him.

It comes on so quick I don’t even see it coming. He went for a shower after work and everything was fine then 20mins later he comes down and I scream at him out the room making lies up that he’s lazy round the house, his family irritate me etc. We then spend couple of days to a week not talking.

Almost every month this happens. He expects an apology every time which makes me more angry as he knows it’s not my fault.

Any suggestions 🙏

But it IS your fault, they are YOUR hormones.
Honestly the poor bloke - just apologise!!

You should apologise, this is no way to treat someone and if you can't stop behaving this way go see your GP.

I used to be like that apparently with my exh, funnily enough my mood swings aren't bad now I'm just a bit snappy occasionally. My dp says I don't even have mood swings.
It may be you, or him or a combination, but for me it was actually my exh rubbing me up the wrong way all the time.

I know exactly what you mean although I didn't start arguments I told my ex he was better off without me and in the end I pushed the break up.

This doesn't help you and I still ( thankfully ) have an amazing friendship with my ex, but it's made me want to apologise again for my actions and behaviour whilst we were together

I hate thinking I could blame my hormones and starting Citaloprom as the route cause and although I know it played a massive part, I know nobody else was to blame over how I reacted, and what ended my relationship

It seems uncontrollable, but you have to take some responsibility!

I'm still eating away at myself for it and after seeking help from my GP I'm the best I have been hormone and mood wise,, but still...you cant pin all the blame down on that

Watching as my PMT mood swings seem to be getting worse recently. I did ask my GP about it but he was not helpful (May try female GP next...).
Has anyone been recommended / prescribed anything that helped to even out the hormones?

I feel I should add that I have just texted my ex and as a true gent he responded in a lovely way but you have pointed out what your husband does for you etc.
Please just stop and take some breaths and think about all of that when you can feel q rage coming on

I lost the love of my life by being a dick and pushing him away and if i could go back i would.

It takes something for somebody to bounce back from repeated hits

Almost every month this happens. He expects an apology every time which makes me more angry as he knows it’s not my fault

There's your problem. You behave abusively, and then blame him when he expects you to take some responsibility for your behaviour.

Hormones are not an excuse for abusive behaviour. You are an adult. You are capable of self control.

I bet you don't do it to your boss. I bet you don't do it to police officers in the street. You just do it to the person you think will let you get away with it

You are the problem. If you aren't willing to accept that, and seriously commit to changing your behaviour, then he should leave you.

@CatLadyInTraining keep at it! I went through numerous doctors after countless contraceptive pills sent me on a downward spiral, throw in an anti depressant at the time and I did whatever I could to push the closest to me

Finally got a doctor who took me off my pill and asked why i was ever given them one in the first place. I came off Citalopram also under doctors guidance. And was put on a pill ( I have endometriosis) that she told me i should have been on from the start.

This all happened about a week or two after my break up, 5 months on I feel absolute nothing like j did then and feel bloody sane for once

Best decision ever sticking it out and pushing to see a doctor that understood and that's hard enough

Not entirely hormone related,but thought I'd give my 2 cents :)

It does always seem to be the partners that get it in the neck.

Or are some people like it with everyone?

Hormones are no excuse for treating him like that. Sounds like you have zero respect for the poor guy. Go to the doctor.

You really need to track your periods so you’ll be aware when the mood swings will occur so you can recognise it’s happening. See your gp.

Your partner will eventually get sick of it and leave.

Could be PMDD. He can't go to the doctors for you though - has to be you. You have my sympathies - I'm quite the same tbh. I've started taking perfect 7 and would take Agnes cactus but you can't if you're trying to conceive according to the bottle I have.

Look up pmdd - make a doctors appointment and push for a solution.

Hormones are incredibly powerful and can be responsible - but so are you.

I can’t believe some men work full time and help out so
Much at home. Why are you angry?

I think some posters here haven’t been at the mercy of their hormones. Honestly, sometimes self control is not possible. It’s horrendous. When you come out of the other side, you see what you’ve done and that feeling is the worst. I despised myself. I almost left my family as I thought they’d be better off without me. It’s like being a completely different person. Part of you can hear and see what you’re doing and is begging you to stop but your mouth just keeps going.
I saw a doctor and after messing with meds for a couple of years, I seem to have settled and the outbursts have stopped.
See your Gp OP.
Btw you definitely should apologise. It is your hormones and while you’re not in control, you’re still causing the hurt.

How's it not your fault? Whose fault is it? The goblins in your attic?

Take some personal responsibility. Either see a doctor or change your behaviour if you feel a doctor is not required.

Either way it's your fault.

Nope - sorry @AlexKate2468, but "hormones" are not a get out of jail free card for abusive women. Try pleading that in court, and see how far it gets you.

Nice try, though.

I’m not saying it’s get out of jail free - I’m saying that you need to admit responsibility and do something about it but that when it happens there is just something that switches. If it was s character trait, surely it couldn’t be treated with medication

Lots of people not understanding that hormones are very powerful chemicals and not just something that happens to a moody woman major eye roll

It is your fault!! Would you accept being treated like that? You sound awful and abusive.

Apologise each time you are insane. If you carry on, he will leave you,

Just saying.

You do need to apologise. But I know what you are referring to and it really is irrational. That massive hormone drop is really dreadful.

Would it be her fault if she had another chemical imbalance like depression? @theunrivalledjoysofparenting

If you can manage to not scream at colleagues, and generally behave in society, then hormones is a bullshit excuse for treating your husband abusively.

Isn’t handy women can be nasty & abusive and can bleat hormones? Christ alive if this was a man there’d be a chorus of LTB.
You’re an adult you chose what comes out your mouth, stop being pathetic.

*choose

@Bookworm4 men have them too - heard of testosterone? Think some of it just rose up inside of you as you wrote that comment