Dating Thread 165: The bravest thing you will ever do is love again ❤

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Well, I’ve just had another hour chat with Mr Bucket, and a promise to call again tonight. The only thing is, he’s another one very much into sexting/phone sex. We have a date lined up for Saturday. He’s really, really cute and I have no objection listening to him whisper filth to me but, in reality, is this likely to be worth it do you think? Of the three solid irons so far , two were sexters and both of them were flaky AF. Is it a bit of a tiny red flag?

FMFL the wisdom here generally seems to be if you start sexting/phone sex before you even meet, you're setting yourself up for disappointment in the long term, if not in the short term. BUT, if what you want is sex etc rather than a LTR, there's no particular harm I would say.

When I first started OLD I found the phone sex/sexting with strangers quite a turn-on, and it led to some fun times in real life too, but without doubt it kiboshed whatever chance there might have been of anything more developing with any of them. AND I had the delight of pitching up to meet what I thought was a hot sexter to find a man who bore a very strong resemblance to Harry Redknapp's great-aunt IRL.

Thanks @cassettes. Shit. I liked this one too but yes I’m thinking it’s all about the sex for him. If he calls tonight I will just come out with the question as to what kind of situation he’s looking for; I’ve found on Tinder that very few state what they’re after (LTR, fwb)

Also lol-Iing at Harry Redknapp’s great aunt

@FMFL I think I'd save the sexting until after a few dates myself if I was after a relationship.

I am literally melting on a train right now.

On Tinder, and elsewhere no doubt, even if they state what they're looking for it's unlikely to be the truth IME. Or it might be what they think they're looking for but actually it's not, because they are clueless (I speak as a clueless one myself here). It really is a minefield @FMFL, I don't want to put you off, but I do think it's good advice not to engage too early if what you hope for is something else than just, or primarily, sex.

@FMFL I found the ones who mentioned sex/boobs/sexting literally we're just looking for sex and that was it. With MrT sex wasn't mentioned after a weeks worth of messaging. It was really refreshing actually after quite a few irons that just wanted to know what colour knickers I was wearing.

After sexting before meeting one guy who turned out to be a creep I swore I'd never do it again but I sexted 5in1 before we met and so far so good. I'd still recommend not doing it, though it did break the ice somewhat 😂

Arranged to meet him tonight but he's suggested putting it off until tomorrow as it's so hot. I'm ok with that, I'm not a happy bunny in the heat and had migraine last night so mentally a bit sluggish and sleep deprived today!

Do you think you can ever bring it back from sexting?. I have realised of all my irons the only ones who I have felt excited about meeting have been the sexters. The nice ones seem to bore me

Marlboro I don't know. To be honest this is the experiment I am now conducting with Mr Courteous and Mr Dynamic. They haven't tried very hard to sext though it feels like it's just beneath the surface. I shall update later after my phone interview.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 Oooh yes maybe I can get him to step back from the sexting...I guess if I steer him off topic and he’s not keen on normal chit chat then I’ll know. He’s asked if I could wear a summer dress on Saturday...summer dresses are not my thing. He’ll get jeans and like it.

Just say you don’t like it.

Accidentally smashed a mirror at BFs place today, I just took my socks off and my feet are cut, argh, means I have to vacuum now incase there is any glass here. How many years of bad luck is it for smashing a mirror?

@SimonJT I believe it's 7 🙈

Maybe it can be 3.5 as we were equally responsible, it’s not as bad then.

Okay @simonjt you have to tell us how's that happened. Go on. You know you want to

On the sexting before meeting front, there are also people out there who do it just to get their jollies and have no intention of meeting.

Mr G and I sexted before we met though. Ended up making for a hot first date as a result.

I've only ever really seated with MrArt and that was mostly after we stopped dating!

Just on the train home form my evening with MrSAS. It was lovely. I got a birthday card (which I'm tempted to open but it's not my birthday for almost 2 weeks) and he paid for dinner (we've always gone halves).
He also told me he's going to miss me, without any prompt from me.

Feeling pretty darn smitten right now 😊

Aarghhh! Sexted!

@SimonJT That bad luck crap is a load of bollocks. You make your own luck and you'll be just fine.

Nothing exciting, tripped over a toothbrush charger cable he left in middle of the floor and partially around a chair leg. I saved the bottle of beer I was carrying, so it could have been worse.

MrNNs flight has started boarding, I’msure he’ll have a very comfy night in cattle class, at least it’ll be cool. He lands at about 6:30, so him getting back to his flat should coincide with MiniSJT being dropped off at forest school fairly well.

Simon I refuse to believe bad luck will befall you - positive vibes for you from here.

Well I passed my first interview and so (more importantly) did he. No nasty surprises, conversation flowed, lots of laughter, got answers to all my questions except for why his marriage ended (I didn't ask - more a face-to-face conversation to be had I think). Second interview, first actual date, booked for Monday evening.

@CassettesAreCool ooooh sounds promising! I don't believe in the bad luck thing @SimonJT sunshine is right you make your luck!

Glad you didn't get hurt @simonjt I'm also not suspicious but even if I was, two lots of negative equals a positive so you are both safe

I haven't opened the card. I'm going to save it (hardest thing I've done for some time) 😂

We had a conversation about love and agreed that love isn't easily defined and can look very different to everyone. He doesn't think he ever loved his ex wife so I don't think that's something that comes easy to him. My exh told me he loved me while he was shagging someone else so the word alone doesn't mean that much to me either.

Oh sunshine pleeeeease open the card. I cannot wait 2 weeks!!!!