Dating Thread 165: The bravest thing you will ever do is love again ❤

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

I would go with jerkyra's suggestion of saying you got carried away but realised something is missing.

All that morning baby ur so beautiful is just them thinking women are like vending machines imo - put compliments in, sex is dispensed. He can probably smell the finish line so to speak because you snogged on a first date (not saying thats wrong, his conclusion is) and just a few more 50ps in the slot will be enough!

@kerkyra sorry

So I'm meeting a guy from OkCupid tomorrow at 3pm. We are having a coffee to see if we click before possibly going to dinner, (I get the impression he is being cautious as may have been cat fished or something before) Anyway, generally I meet people for dinner and drinks at like 7pm so the early time and coffee has thrown me lol. Should I just take the car then? Also what on earth do I wear? Thanks in advance!

Thanks all. Sent a message that he was a great guy and I had fun but am not ready to date and he just sent a nice reply back. I think I will block him though as I get the feeling he might be a messager when drunk.

@Ant330 so glad things worked out with the call. The reason I was empathetic towards her is because how she described her actions and reasoning was exactly how I've behaved in the past due to my previous abusive relationship. I could tell she liked you a lot but just needed to work through some stuff herself but didn't want to let you go. Hope it all works out for you both.

Mother I rarely drink so always went for a tea/coffee and cake first date (excellent way of screening out heavy drinkers too!). I would wear what you would normally wear if you were going out for a nice Sunday lunch. I'd not go for dinner with someone I'd never met before!!

It's the worst marl, i felt so bad for mr p&d yesterday but, kinder in the long run!

Alanis thanks, it's not a situation I've ever found myself in, so it was useful to hear from 'her side' when she wasn't really communicating with me at all.

@motherofacat a coffee or drink is a really good way to start imo. If there's chemistry you can stay longer. If not there's no painful meal.

I will wholeheartedly agree with Ginmel on that one! My very first date from OLD followed 3 weeks of me over investing in somebody on WA who in hindsight clearly used pics from 10+ years ago, and I naively 'upgraded' coffee to lunch before meeting.
I then had what was a perfectly pleasant 2 hour lunch but with somebody I did not fancy one bit, followed by me having my arse squeezed outside the restaurant as I tried to avoid having a full on snog in the middle of a very busy area of my home city.
I think I likened it at the time to being groped by an overly tactile auntie.

@Ant330 Glad things are better with Miss H. Here's hoping for better communication going forwards.

My ex told me earlier that his gf (the one he had an affair with) was rushed to hospital last night and "is ok but likely to be there tonight too". I tried (not very) hard to muster some sympathy but I just couldn't so I sent a bland message back about telling the kids he is out tonight (they were going to FaceTime him from holiday tonight).

Karma's a bitch hey. So am I probably but that's tough shit.

Also, I've done diner before as a first date and it was fine. I knew we had a lot in common though so I wasn't too worried and I can always make polite chat for an hour or two if I don't fancy someone. I find eating takes the pressure off a little to think of conversation constantly!

I think I likened it at the time to being groped by an overly tactile auntie.

I laughed out loud at that @Ant330

What do people do with their profiles when they're having a break from OLD?
Do you delete completely then start again? Or just hide your profile?

I've always deleted completely, thinking that when I go back then I'll be a "new" face. And the app algorithms will put me to the top of the pile. But I'm not sure this is true.
Also do you use new photos each time? I get a lot of compliments about my main photo so I'm reluctant to change it. But I feel like it's been seen too much.
But then again there are men on the apps with profiles that haven't been changed in about 4 years.

Hide mine @echo

--I will not over invest in Mr C
I will not overinvest in Mr C
I will not overinvest in Mr C--

Mr SAS is staying the night the night I get home! We haven't spent the whole night together for about 2 months and I'm SO bloody excited!

Absence definitely makes the heart go stronger sunshine

I’m in unfamiliar territory now! My iron’s birthday is coming up - we’ll have been seeing each other for a couple of months at that point but will have only have been on 6/7 dates cause of holidays and life - what should I get him? Should I get him anything?! Help!

@bellejar This happened to me after a month of dates with MsM&M. She knew where I worked and sent a card there. It was a lovely surprise. A card and an invitation for a shared meal out would be appropriate I think.

Yes I think a card and take him for a meal or arrange another nice experience date for you both @bellejarr
Very quiet day from 5in1 today only one message asking how I am and he hasn't read the answer

I'm all out of irons and not getting many views - in fact none at all on POF for several days. Could do with an opinion or two on my profile please if anyone is on Match or POF.

@Coffeeandchocolate9 @HairyArsedMan I think a meal/date is definitely the way forward! That’s what I was thinking but then I started panicking thinking that wasn’t enough/was too much - but I’ll go with the voices of experience, definitely!

So thankfully I've calmed down after my over anxious ramble earlier in the week!!
I've taken a step back and been much more relaxed about messaging. Mr 50 miles is till in the scene. We message daily, sometimes a lot sometimes not depending on what comes up in conversation. He still seems quite keen to meet me and has just sent a nice message about looking forward to meeting me. Unfortunately it's another week away... that will have been three weeks of messaging!!

I also have a new iron; Mr York. He has no kids but seems nice. Not quite as chatty as Mr 50 miles... hasn't asked me on a date yet but he's going away for a week tomorrow so will see how things hold up over the next week!!

I've been busy with my two irons and not thought about my ex much but tonight he's out some new posts on Facebook which then result in my reminiscing and remembering how much I miss him 😞

Mr T and I's messaging is still going strong...we're 7 weeks in and have messaged 12625 times! We also see each other twice a week! I'm sure we'll run out of things to say soon

Wow Kermit that is a lot of messaging!! I thought I messaged a lot!!