Dating Thread 165: The bravest thing you will ever do is love again ❤

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@Ant330 Seems a bit coincidental now...

You've been round there before when her kids were there, haven't you?

I agree that I'd rather have the conversation over the phone at this point if she keeps putting off meeting.

Double post, sorry!

supercali no I think we both need to see how we are with each other in person so I think I'd rather wait.

Sunshine don't think it's a conversation I want to have while the kids are in the house.

Could you not go round after he kids are in bed ant or have a phone call? It sees to have been dragging on a while now and I don't think I could let it keep going on like this.

Glad all is going well jesuis and shitwith. Together with batshit you have given me hope OLD can work. I'm getting older and my hope is getting slimmer (as I get fatter )

That's a shame Ant. I hope the extra time has helped miss h come to her senses.

really hate myself for talking about woo stuff but having a much better comms day here especially with a few key colleagues. Mercury is out of the retrograde.

Hi All. I'm still with MrWow, going great. However, my STBX is back here for a visit and his g/f is flying in and staying here tonight, for a few days! How do I feel about that?? He's as nervous as hell, hoping we'll get on. I'm going to be nice to her obviously but it's going to be weird! My STBX has had to put up with MrWow being about but since he left to live with his g/f I've considered the house more mine, if that makes sense. It's certainly going to be an interesting evening.

The majority of our friends and family think we are totally weird having the kind of set up that we do but we're both kinda laid back people so it works.

I'm 52 next month, STBX will be 56 and MrWow is 47. So, hope that gives anyone doubting love is out there hope. ❤

@TooOldForThis67 So you and your exh still live together?
My brother lived with his ex wife, their son and ex wife's new partner for a while until he could buy his own place but it was very strange and I think he was glad to get out.
I guess it all depends on circumstances re break ups and stuff but if it works for you and for both new partners then that all that matters!

sunshine - we did for 18mths and in that time I've had a few b/f's round but only one who has stayed the night is MrWow. We've been on and off for well over a year. Just goes to show MrWow has staying power, lol.

I see I have a witchy woo friend in @ginmel

Ant baaah I'm incredibly frustrated for you. Like supercauli I'd be going for a phone (video) call now but I understand why you would want to be face to face.

Was going to see 5in1 tonight along with some of my friends but I have a bug he's been very sweet making sure I'm resting up. Hope I'm well for the weekend, no plans with him yet but it would be nice

So comms are likely back on then @Ginmel? I was interested in the Mercury retrograde thing, especially as so many of us have been having comms issues...are we in for a happier period (I’ll take even a day at this point!)

I came right out this morning and asked if Mr Bucket was multi-dating ( I was careful not to word it as anything other than a casual enquiry) and he said no. So that’s a bit of a good thing for me to hear. I was quite buoyed up by that!

That sounds better FMFL I'm glad your asked outright (though I thought you did before?)

I'm in denial @coffeeandchocolate9
I would love not to be believe in it.

But I can't

@ginmel
Star signs? Bullshit
Intuition? Fuck yes
Tarot and Crystals - yes but I don't consider them very woo just useful tools
Mercury bloody retrograde? Wish I didn't, but 2+2 has = 4 too many times! 🤣

@Coffeeandchocolate9 no I had been planning to for ages but hadn’t plucked up the courage. I mean, it doesn’t mean much (he may still be messaging people) but at least it’s given me a bit of reassurance.

I quite like star signs though I don't read into them. I don't ever look at horoscopes though. Numerology is interesting but I don't follow it. Not into tarot or crystals at all though. Think my woo percentage is quite low.

Hey thread experts! I’ve been talking to someone for maybe a couple of months from OLD, spent lots of time together over the last 2-3 weeks. Get on really well, just click. Spent maybe 5-6 nights together. He’s very closed (quite hurt in the past), doesn’t say he likes me. But acts it.

Just wondering if it’s way too soon, or if you ever should! Ask about if they are seeing anyone else? To me, if I’m sleeping with him. Then there is no one else. Kind of want to know it’s reciprocated. That he likes me.

myappletree not too soon at all If I like someone I'd like to know when we sleep together I'm not one of many.

@MyAppleTree I asked that question this morning, and I’m nowhere near as far along as you are! Im only two dates in, but thinking ahead to potential future dates it’s important for me to know if there are others. Issues gifted to me by my bastard ex there

Thanks, yes me too on the ex FMFL, and OLD in general.

Just don’t want to scare him off by looking like I care. But think he might be the same so...

Mines quite high. Since changing my bumble profile to include the words "witch, tarot, Crystals and life coach" I've had tonnes more, and better, matches. Just one guy I matched with took the piss asking why I'd felt the need to say "left leaning remainer" (I realised a while ago I certainly did not want to date somebody who voted for Brexit, no offence to anybody on here) and wanted to know if I also "called yourself a feminist lol"... he got blocked

So, would it be rude to ask my iron why he was on the app if he doesn't actually have time to date?
We met once and there's undeniable chemistry but he's booked solid with friends for the next 2 weeks and can't even spare me an hour. He seems content messaging, every day, sometimes flirty and sometimes just chatting.
I've so far considered he could be shy, could be feeling a little nervous (he apparently had a disastrous 1st date the week before we matched) but initially he was very confident, so I am feeling a bit confused now.
Anyone else had this?

To those that said why don't you speak on the phone, good idea!
We've been on the phone for the last hour and a half and think we're getting somewhere.
She said me going quiet made her assume she'd done something wrong which set off all the memories of her ex, when in actual fact it was my issue just triggered by something she said. It's the first time in 10 days we've actually been able to get to the bottom of it.
Seeing her on Saturday at some point. I've got my son all weekend, but he's 13 so won't mind if I duck out for a couple of hours, that's if he's even in to notice.
I think we're ok for now, lots to work through but think we're going to try. You'll all be pleased to know that she apologised profusely for this week, and admitted it was just selfish self preservation in case it went tits up, and that she will try not to just do a runner when it gets difficult in the future.