Dating Thread 165: The bravest thing you will ever do is love again ❤

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

I'm 52 next month and just joined tinder a few days ago and am surprised to find an avalanche of men ranging from mid 30s to mid 50s swiping right and messaging me. I've just got natural smiling photos. No pouting or cleavage, no kids or pets, no filters, just me. Lots of the men say it's refreshing to see natural photos rather than instagram style filters or provocative photos. They may not all be my type but so far no dodgy convos or requests for hook ups. I'm pleasantly surprised!

@Notcoolmum No, he will reply with a kiss emoji or pick out something else I've said and respond to that mostly.
There has been the odd bit of sexy texting but nothing explicit. That's fine though, it's not everyone's thing and he makes up for it in person 😉

Ndotto* I'm 47 and I'm on tinder and bumble. I'd set your age range to what you are happy with. I've gone 10 years younger and 10 years older but rarely swipe on someone more than 5 years either side. The man I'm dating now is 5 years younger. The one before that was a year older. And Before that 4 years older.

I have a very short bio that mentions my height, music preferences and fave drinks! Enough to give a flavour of me without giving away more than I'd like to strangers. All of my photos bar one are selfies.

Good luck!

Notcool completely agree with not sitting around pining, life's too short!

Ndotto Welcome to the thread. I'm 57, and not exactly having the time of my life, but I'm working on it...

There is a link to a quick explanation of the dating sites on the original thread post. I'm on most of them , but personally find POF to be where I'm getting most interest (thanks Cassettes for helping with my profile!)

@Marlboroandmalbec34 good to hear that he did eventually reply to you. Totally understand your frustration at being kept awake. Once I've said good night, that's it. Phone goes off til 6am.

@Ndotto I'm a similar age. Dating apps aren't just for the youngsters

@HairedArsedMan I could fill up a thread with the backstory of why I invited him to my house and why I needed to know if he was still active on the apps. But hindsight is a great thing. And I'm wondering if it was too much for him. Especially as I've found out something else about him.

I sent a polite thanks, we could be friends if you're ok with that. I've had around 5 messages from him since, telling me that's great and things we could do as friends. I'm backing away as politely as possible.

Ndotto I'm 55, now firmly on the smitten bench, seeing a man I met on Fab Swingers about 18 weeks ago ... OLD and even Fab Swingers is for any one, ignore your kids!

Mr BC is 7 years younger than me. I had no issue getting dates with men around my age. Go for it, and use the thread for advice

It's been just over 4 months now with Mr SAS (minus a hiccup after 2 months for a couple of weeks): can't wait to see him 😊

And I'm 41 in 5 days 😆

So I did end up messaging Mr D again (the one I hadn't heard from for a few days after a lovely date) and we were chatting a bit. I was talking about an event I was going to which he seemed interested in and asked if he wanted to go see it together but he declined saying he had prior plans which is fair enough. I asked if he wanted to see each other over the next few days (perhaps a little needy but I just wanted to see what he'd say) but again he said it would be hard to as he had plans and didn't offer an alternative.

I think I'm having to have it spelled out to me that he's just not that interested gahh which is a shame because he is probably the first person I was starting to like in a while . I was having a run of meeting men who where more into me than I was into them and now I think my luck has run out a little

Tempted to knock it on the head with my other iron who is lovely but I've been pining after Mr D, think I might need to take a break as feeling a little sore from dating!

pumpkin have a little break like me. It's so emotionally exhausting. A week or two off and you'll be all ready to start again

@kerkyra it is isn't it?! So exhausting

I've agreed to go on a date with other iron Mr G this weekend so I'll go to that and have a fun time, see how I feel and take it from there

@Notcoolmum All still going well with Mr C - I still love him, he still doesn't love me he does but doesn't know it , coming up to 4 months like @shitwithsugaron (I think we swiped on our respective irons in the same week). Again, we've had our ups and downs, but mainly ups and the downs have been due to me being insecure and fucking needy. Really looking forward to the next couple of weeks as STBXH has DD for 2 weeks from tomorrow night, so I've got the odd day booked off work here and there and lots and lots of sleepovers planned, the downside is I won't see him during the fortnight after that when I'm on mum duty so I'm going to make the most of it.

@Ndotto I'm nearly 44 and MrC is 5 years younger than me - neither of us are bothered and we don't really think about it - age is definitely a state of mind, though neither of us object to a Sunday afternoon snooze after a big lunch.

@Peanuthedz

@Sunshineandflipflops Ouch, that sounds painful, hopefully it won't scar, or if it does you need to invent a very interesting story along the lines of "It all started when I was working as an extra on the new James Bond film...". My daughter still thinks I've worked at Buckingham Palace where I met the Queen several times, a magician's assistant who got sawn in half every day, a croupier on a cruise ship and as an extra on Poldark...

@Ant330 Not sure what time you're meeting but I'll join the collective virtual cheerleading squad and hope you manage to work things out (if you want to of course).

@Marlboroandmalbec34 Once I've done the "night night" text that's it for us but we're both early birds and like our sleep.

Apropos of nothing I've bought some cracking wedges in the Clarke's sale to wear at the weekend with my red dress - hopefully there'll be no twisted ankles, I need to practice a bit - I love wearing heels, but STBXH being a short arse put paid to that - it's the little things

We're not meeting today, her ex has let her down and isn't having the kids. This is not meant to be is it

It does seem like that, are you feeling okay about not meeting today?

@Ant330 How have communications been since the weekend?

Feeling ok about not meeting? No absolutely not, but it can't be helped. Although she probably has a clearer idea now about how frustrated and hurt I am.

JeSuis since Tuesday slightly better but only slightly and always about pretty bland stuff going on in each others lives, nothing to do with us at all. Clearly we were both waiting until tonight to talk about that, which has worked out well.

So I’m on holiday with Mr Eagle. We’re spending most of this week away in Dorset (minus children!) and it’s been bloody brilliant so far.

It’s just lovely and easy, no drama, no criticism. It’s not hard work at all. He’s wonderful ☺️

@Ant330 I’m sorry about you and MissH. I hope you manage to talk soon.

@Peanuthedz hope you’re ok.

@Sunshineandflipflops you noodle. Hope you’re not too badly hurt!

@Ant330 Can you not just get her on a call after the kids are in bed? This seems like a ridiculous position to be sitting around waiting in

@Ant330 Seems a bit coincidental now...

You've been round there before when her kids were there, haven't you?

I agree that I'd rather have the conversation over the phone at this point if she keeps putting off meeting.