Dating Thread 165: The bravest thing you will ever do is love again ❤

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Me too. Really keeping everything crossed that Ant gets the result he wants.

Mr Scottish usually messages me at 7ish before he goes to work but not this morn. I have messaged him “morning gorgeous” but he hasn’t read (but has been online) ah well if he is that moody about been told I need some sleep he isn’t for me!

I don't think you were rude Marl. I get up at 5 am for work so never messaged anyone after 10 pm when I was OLD. Tough shit if they didn't like it 😂😂

I hope it goes okay today Ant - really hoping you can sort things out.

Also hoping Miss H has got her head out of her arse.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 you were too nice. I'd also have stopped replying.

Good luck on your date strongtoday and everyone on their dates. Hope chat goes well Ant and all can be resolved .
Marl hope he has txt you back and isnt in a strop. This is why I hate the texting! He is obviously very excited but little alarm bells would be going through my head, has he not listened to what I've said,has he forgotten I need to be up early,is he just a selfish git?!

Or maybe he just doesnt date much and cant believe he's meeting such a catch and just needs you to jokingly say that your phone will go on silent when your head hits that pillow!

Just a little reminder for those who need it 😘

I was feeling a little hot under the collar when I woke up this morning and tried to tell Mr SAS via WhatsApp but he doesn't really do sexting, bless him. He was very polite and asked me how my injury was from yesterday (I spilled hot oil down my legs like an idiot).
Good job he makes up for it in person 😂

Mr SAS sounds lovely Sunshine hope your leg gets better,get in that sea and that will help it

marl you weren’t rude but I think he was joking. I would have responded with ‘ha ha I think the word you are looking for is shattered’. I hope it works out today.

Cassettes is off to be cool at a festival for a few days. By which I mean cold, wet, smelly and poor of course. Am overly loved up about Mr Greedy FWB after a frankly stunning night/morning on Tuesday. Will try to distract myself with festival hunks a la Bridget Jones but I’m sharing a tent with my DD so I won’t get far.

Have great dates all. And ant I’m sure whatever happens you will handle it with your characteristic grace.

Hi all. Trying to catch up on he thread. Things move fast.

I hope today goes well ant. I think dating as we get older is tricky as we all carry baggage. It sounds like you have inadvertently triggered something deep and she robs my doesn't know why she's reacted in this way. If her ex was abusive her feelings and issues are probably deeply buried. Only you know if you care about her enough to make it work.

I'm still dating Mr Bants. But missing Mr S. time moves quickly and tomorrow will be our 8th date and we are staying in a nice hotel. We will probably need to have the chat about where we see thing going soon and I will be honest that I'm happy with things staying casual. We haven't discussed coming off the apps or being exclusive and we both still have our profiles.

Hope your daughter is ok ccgirr and enjoy your festival cassettes.

How are the big romances shitwith and jesuis. You two give me hope...

@Marlboroandmalbec34 People are aware enough or should be in the early days of messaging to know if you're gonna say something like that you give the old emoji sandwich if it might be taken wrong. You said you were off to bed and there's another hour of 'Tell me how much you want to see me'....He sounds like a boundary pushing asshat, I wouldn't cater to him

Hello - can I join? Have lurked here before - been separated for 18 months after a very long (too long) awful marriage and finally think I have enough space between me and it to date but no idea what to do. Am 50 - is it too late? My kids say dating apps are not for old people. I am worried they are right. Can’t even find a profile picture I like, being unschooled in the ways of Instagram etc, no idea what to write. IRL am fairly outgoing, not awful looking, decent job, lots of friends, go to gym daily etc - but feel invisible to men. Be honest, at my age am I better getting a few cats? Friends of mine in similar positions doing OK on dating sites but worried I will join and be ignored or just pursued by pensioners (men my age seem to set their preferences for women under 45! )

Thanks all, much appreciated.

Ndotto - ignore your children - I'm nearly 62 and am doing ok lol

Ant - hope today goes well

Ndotto I'm 47 and find plenty of people our age on the apps, they aren't just for the youngsters.

@Ndotto I'm a similar age and I have had a reasonable amount of success in old although I think a big factor is where you live.

I agree that many men our age are looking for younger and I dated a few guys in their 50s but my boyfriend is a year younger. His previous girlfriend was 5 years older than him. So there are some men out there who don't judge on the grounds of age.

Also I take awful photos so don't worry about that.

ndotto ignore your kids. Get a friend to take a few snaps and get on the apps!! You might have another 50 years ahead of you so get bloody dating!

Mr Scottish has replied “morning gorgeous x” so maybe it was me overthinking. I think I am so excited about my weekend with Mr Big that maybe I am sabotaging or maybe Mr Scottish is a boundary pusher OR maybe the fact that he is so excited is putting me off, I am after all miss unavailable 😂

@Notcoolmum how are you coping with still missing MrS whilst dating MrBants? Is it hard?
Pleased to hear you're on your 8th date and things sounds good though

@Ndotto definitely not too old. I'm 50 and been dating for 18 months on and off and having a great time. I've met some great people. I think if you treat it as a way of meeting new people rather than trying to meet The One it helps.

@Ant330 good luck today 😞

I've fallen sharply off the smitten bench. I may ease myself back on at some point hopefully. We'll see how things go... i can't go into it for various reasons.

@Ginmel I hope you sorted out your connection! How...Er... frustrating! I had to contact my phone provider to access similar.

Oh and @Ndotto you may find that you're the one that ends up going younger. And enjoying it.

Marlboro glad to hear he wasn't being a knob, sounds like it was a cheeky "how rude". It's better for him to be excited than indifferent, so hopefully you'll have a good time whatever happens.
If it goes any further he just needs to understand your lifestyle better.

@Ndotto - I'm 49 - blokes of your (and my) age group are fairly invisible too. You should go for it - from how you describe yourself, you'd likely attract some honest attention. There are a lot of guys in a similar position to you and they're not all racing round in Porsches and chasing young women and wearing toupees (sticks tongue out to whoever it was that besmirched marathon runners up thread!). What you've got to remember is that many of the blokes your age will have had similar long relationships behind them and also be totally not cool for school.

However I would say watch out for all the blokes saying they're 49 Ok, I'm joking but there are a few that don't want to grow older than that according to the thread.

You may need to spread yourself across multiple sites which can be a real chore. I would say Tinder is quite skewed towards younger folks. I have a perhaps irrational liking for Bumble having met a lovely 48 year old woman through it who takes my breath away every time I see her.

@Ant330 hope it can all be resolved face to face today. I think you were so into each other, so quickly that maybe a minor bump became magnified. I agree with @Alanis41 that it's not unreasonable for MissH to want to to take time out to think things through and she has made reassuring noises about feeling the same . But it's tough, I remember in my failed long term relationship how my ex- asking for us to have a break left me totally disconcerted.

@EchoElephant I would go with a polite thanks for letting me know with your date. It's difficult to be (new) friends and date others, not only from a divided loyalties perspective but due to finding the free time when you've got childcare. And it sounds a bit like he might be angling for a FWB arrangement by suggesting you meet to discuss.

Hi Ant. It is hard. I've found being intimate with someone else a bit triggering. But Mr S doesn't want to be with me so I can't sit around pining all day. Mr Bants is good fun. Hence the name. And he makes me laugh and I enjoy our time together. It's just not the same. I'm a bit nervous about the chat in case he wants more. As I'm happy with how things are.

marls have you not met Mr Scottish yet? I'd back off replying so often. Set the tone on how often you want to communicate. How rude sounded like a joke to me. And if you kept replying he'd have kept texting? How do you feel about the weekend with Mr Big? Have you pulled back on the texting there? I know you said before he was your ideal man on text but not quite in real life.

sunshine I don't think I've met a man who didn't respond to a bit of sexy texting. Does he just ignore them?

ndotto I’m 56 and having the time of my life for the most part, but have had to learn a lot - especially about my own vulnerabilities and whether I’m ready for LTR. A lot of men our age think they want want younger but not all by any means. Smile in all your pics. Don’t use the word ‘fun’ in your profile text. Be prepared for lots of ‘ewww’ from your DC. Post here for advice/encouragement because it can be disheartening. Treat it as fun and READ DA RULES