Dating Thread 165: The bravest thing you will ever do is love again ❤

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

LilyRose I agree about the sex early on thing, it's happened to me several times where the main focus seems to be sex and it gets boring pretty quickly, I want to go on dates and do things together, it's important to work out if someone is good relationship material before you DTD so spending time getting to know them is important. I will try and control myself tonight, I don't think he's likely to try anything (more likely to be me), he's already making plans for going for a meal and then a walk and I can't be out too late tonight so by the time we have eaten there won't be much time to do much else.
I'm probably the one that's more obsessed with sex but only of its good sex. Pretty sure he's not the sex crazed grow bit you never know. Hard to know anything when you haven't known someone very long.

Stupid fingers, was meant to read "pretty sure he's not the sex crazed type but you never know"

So I've just had my coffee date with mr 5in1. He still flat out refused to tell me what's going on in his head, but he has reassured me that it's not anything to do with me and isn't anything that affects me (whether I believe the latter, I'm not convinced). We (yet again) got our wires crossed, I thought we were only getting a drink and he thought we were getting lunch, so we had lunch and cake, and the world seems a better place when I'm with him. Hmm.

and the world seems a better place when I'm with him. Hmm.

Think someone is heading towards the smitten bench

Hi guys i'd like to join in. Split with husband 18mo ago, feel very ready to move on now after a couple of aborted attempts , but i dont want to repeat marriage and babies, just a casual bf is fine.

Had to rebuff a guy who i liked who's been intensively chasing me for months - he has a long term partner and young child. They dont have sex apparently i stayed firm but i would class what we got up to as an emotional affair, though he didnt. Finally i felt he was never going to talk to his partner, he was happy to hurt her and frustrate me indefinitely, so fucking BYE!!!

I've been on tinder and have a date with Mr PoliteandDirect thursday

ant just adding a ditto to what everyone upthread had said. Hope goes well tomorrow

sunshine laughing at you counting away your hols to get back to Mr SAS!

Welcome newbies.

So I need some advice. I am spending the full weekend with Mr Big. He has told me he is not planning on dating others but is unsure about what he wants (as you know)

I told him I am looking for some level of commitment and exclusivity so whilst I will keep seeing him casually for now (amazing sex and strong connection) I will be swiping.

Now I have a new iron. Mr Scottish who seems to tick a lot of boxes and we are having good banter. First Date arranged for Thursday evening 😁

Now part of my weekend plans with Mr Big are a gig on Friday in his city. This happens to be the same city as Mr Scottish. What if Thursday goes well and I like Mr Scottish. Can I still see Mr Big at the weekend?

What if I like Mr Scottish but go out with Mr Big on Friday and Mr Scottish is also at the gig?

Am I just over worrying and overthinking since havnt met Mr Scottish yet and obvs he could be awful/ ghost me/ no spark?

Hate multi dating but don’t want to give Mr Big up unless I meet someone I like more!

In our 6 months FWB arrangement Mr Big has known about all my dates. This is the first time I havnt told him. Was gonna but worries about Mercury retrograde (thanks coffee) 😂

Bloody hell I sound like a twat! Help me lovely thread x

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I wouldn't worry (personally) about spending the weekend with Mr Big after one date with Mr Scottish BUT obviously if you REALLY like Mr Scottish on Thursday then I would mention to Mr Big at the weekend that you had a great date. I guess at that point he either rallies what he might lose or show he's not all that bothered.

I'm sure others will advise differently but I wouldn't want to miss a gig I had already planned 😂 I did that with Mr SAS when we stopped seeing each other for a couple of weeks and really regretted it!

Marlboro yes you're probably overthinking it. As you say you've got no idea how the date will go, and how big a gig is it, likelihood of bumping into him, and how do you know if he likes the same music. I'd suggest the probabilities of a chance meeting are quite slim.
Worry about it if you like each other and he tells you he's going

Hi guys I'd like to join the post if that's ok 🙋‍♀️. I've tried to read the thread but it's huge and will take me forever so might take me a while to grasp who people are!!
I'm 34 have one ds, split from exh 3.5 years ago and just come out of a 2 ye relationship. Here I am on the dating scene again!! Haven't been on any dates yet or even come close really until now. I've been chatting to mr 50 miles for about 10 days. I feel it's time to go on a date now. I've been away so haven't really had the opportunity until now. It now I think it's time!! He's already said a couple of times that he'd like to meet so I'm going to
Mention it again tonight now I'm back.
I had forgotten how consuming dating is!!

Just catching up with the thread while "on the continent" as my mother would say. Does anyone even say that any more?!

Commiserations to everyone going through Mercury related difficulties and especially @Ant330. Welcome to the newbies.

I had an iron when I left for my holiday but he turned out to be a dick.... I've met 2 beautiful 40 something single women and traded OLD horror stories..... I'm having a lovely time but I'm fed up with holidays on my own now. I'm lonely. Someone fetch the tiny violins!

@putastrawunderbaby I feel you. I'm not alone and I'm very lucky to be on holiday with my parents, brother and kids but I'd love to be away with someone special (a different kind of special) and not sharing a twin room with my son or daughter!

Ok, hands up, who stole all the decent men on Tinder??

I've just swiped my way through a collection of grimaces, nostril shots, bare torsos, middle finger salutes and random photos of sunsets etc.

And now I've run out of options.
Is it really that difficult to put up a nice photo of yourself, preferably smiling?

Echo I feel your pain. If the men aren’t up a mountain they’re running marathons or surfing a tsunami or something. And not one selfie without sunglasses. Did a memo go out or something?

Yes tinder is full of men who do everything in sunglasses and spend all their time running and cycling - yawn. Also, absolutely nothing on profile? I'm supposed to just instantly fall for your bad selfie?

I’m just swiping lazily through tinder tonight, Mr Bucket a bit quiet and I am bored. Plus I think maybe a bit of self protection in case he disappears...

Does anyone ever find that some men just seem to like the chase then when you open up aren't as interested? I've been chatting for someone for 10 days, I'm very closed when first chatting to people as I can't flirt or be affectionate when I don't know someone as it feels false. Last night I started to be a little bit more flirty (only a tad!!) but now only had two messages today so fear I have either been ghosted or love bombed!! It's just soo hard work this dating business 😫😫

😂 I'm off mountain biking, rock climbing and other such activities with my son in The Lakes for a week at the end of August. If I end up on the apps again, I take it I shouldn't be including any of those photos?
Oh and I won't be fetching the tiny violin for those swigging wine in the sun 😂
Only joking, I'm just jealous as I'll be sharing a tent and air bed with a wet and muddy teenager!

Ant Just put one selfie on there where you’re smiling and sunglasses-free and women across Tinder will thank you for it

Ant I am hoping your miss hair realised she has been a twazzock and is v apologetic and you guys can get back on track!

I hope tomorrow goes okay @Ant330 when you meet MissH.

I’ve not been to work so far this week, MiniSJT was quiet at bfs place on Sunday, but we had been in Swindon until 11:30 on Saturday at one of bfs shows, so thought he was just tired, but he has another ear infection from his aids. Hes fine now he is on the dreaded banana antibiotics so he is going straight back to nursery tomorrow.

MrNN is meant to be staying over Friday night, but we’ll see if MiniSJT is well enough to go for a sleepover.

We’re off on holiday on Monday to Spain for a week with MiniSJT and my cousin.

Thanks Marlboro we'll see on Thursday.
FMFL I got plenty of good profile advice from this thread when I first started OLD, so yes smiling photos only were used. Besides I think I look better clean and in normal clothes rather than covered in mud 😂

One of new irons has quite a few photos of him doing outdoor activities, including wearing lycra. No objections here at all in fact I may have asked for more

@SimonJT bless him 😢 does he get them often? Nothing worse when they have bad ears, the pain is awful. Hope he's feeling better soon!

@Ginmel!

Hi everyone!

I've been following this thread for a while and seen lots of good advice and also really nice to see some of the positive experiences play out.

Wanted to get an opinion on my own situation. I've been on a few dates with a guy since mid june mostly a few weeks apart because we both had holidays booked. It seemed like we had a good connection and when he went away he would tell me he would get back in touch to go out later and we would.

We have had dates and dtd. He has asked for me to come and stay at his for just sleep-overs too. I've accepted but recently I've been avoiding that route and waiting until he suggests an actual date and not just sleeping over. We had a lovely date over the weekend after not seeing each other over the last few weeks but I've not anything since! We used to text loads in the beginning and it just seems to have tailed off!

I've felt quite anxious about when he doesn't get in touch and it feels as if he isn't too bothered which is a shame as i can see potential and we seem to have such a lovely time. There have been times when I've called it off in my head but then he'll get back in touch and we will go out again such as this last date! Any advice would be appreciated about what is going on and what to do because I'm a bit stuck!