Dating Thread 165: The bravest thing you will ever do is love again ❤

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

I've heard nothing from Mr 4 dates all day. He would usually send quite a lot of messages while he works.
I still think it was ok for me to ask why his tinder location kept changing. And the fact he hasn't replied suggests he either thinks I'm a crazy stalker. Or he wasn't entirely honest with me.

Aargh...3 day's in and the horniness has crept in! Must be all the sunshine and cheap rosé 😂

Mr G just sent me a really considered reply. Won't change our outcome and it wasn't his intention of anything different but a nice reply all the same.

sunshine try more than three weeks...

I had 6 months before I started dating @AverageGuy and I didn't really miss it but then I was used to my exh and he wasn't all that. Now I know what I'm missing 🙈

Lol
It seems like forever, doesn't it...
Actually my last dtd was in mid June...

Three weeks and six months are nothing

That's interesting about the mercury retrograde ....

Mr BC and I are all good. He was here from Saturday evening until about 2 pm yesterday.

I've had some shitty emails from my ex 😕 - we own a house which is (fingers crossed) selling. There's some work that needs doing but I have no spare money until the house has sold (that's why the house is being sold, it's my sodding settlement plus the maintenance kicks in once it's sold). Ex seems not to understand this (he was in court, you'd think he'd remember ... ). I find any contact with him triggering so his name in my inbox is making me feel sick ... Sorry, not relevant to the thread, just needed to vent!

Ant I hope you do meet and are able to discuss how you're feeling.

@AverageGuy - just a thought - there’s no way I would have invited a man to my house on a first date with my children. It would make me a bit worried about her boundaries and judgement regarding her dc’s. Hopefully it’s nothing and she is keen as mustard to meet you. But it seems a little bit too keen somehow.

@simonjt not all of us have a 10 dates rule 😂

A strong homemade g&t and fabbing are probably not a good combination. I now have two more irons Mr Hill and Mr Chest

Oops...I think Sunshine has had too much sunshine and is looking a little tomato like. Hopefully I'll be a bronzed goddess by the time I get home...😳

So an update, my ex had calmed down yesterday when he dropped my son off (son is nearly 7). That could've been because I was at my mums and he would've known I'd told her!!
I went on an impromptu date before- no no nopedy no as someone said yesterday 🤣. Just made me realise how much I like mr H and I'm probably willing to carry on at a none pace. Think I may have a beer later and text him to try and gage where he is at and if we are in a fwb situ can it be more regular?!

@Ant330 have you arranged to see MissH this evening?
As a previous poster said, you sound really lovely so she has massively lost out if she loses you over such a minor thing....

@AverageGuy your Iron with a 6 month old - has she been dating long? That’s a very young one...

@Sunshineandflipflops 2 weeks is plenty of time to turn from a tomato to bronzed goddess 🍅💃🏽. MrC was most impressed at me tanning my white bits in his (very secluded) garden yesterday. Dinner was late though 👙⬅️ may have forgot the top bit 😂

@Lillyrose19 glad things turned out OK with your ex. What a cock. Mine is still begging me to take him back - he's finished with the OW now (today's update) so what's stopping us trying again, now he's seen the error of his ways? Err- that 6ft 4 gorgeous Cornishman who treats me like a queen pal, now fuck the fuck off...

As long as you are getting what you need from MrH, go for it, but if you need more keep swiping.

@Ant330 have been thinking of you today. Hope things are resolved tonight 🌻

@Ginmel You're a quick worker 👍🏻😉

@BatshitCrazyWoman I hope there's a special place in hell (insert your religion of choice) for our shitty exes who couldn't manage 10% of what we do on a daily basis looking after our kids for the bulk of the time, working, keeping a roof over their heads, deal with life admin for ourselves and several little people and sometimes elderly parents in fact spinning so many fucking plates they don't have a clue, all the while thinking I could be a better mum, employee, daughter, friend but I'm running on empty and doing the best I can. And we do it all like fucking swans gliding across a lake, spinning our plates, praying that your child isn't still poorly tomorrow because you've got no annual leave left, or school doesn't tell you about a last minute assembly that you need time off for so their hearts don't break when you can't go, or the washing machine dies/car fails it's MOT because your cc is maxed out, and they're paying the minimum amount of CM they can't get away with (if any) and they have the cheek to look at us like we've got an easy life. Oh and heaven forbid we'd like to have a little bit of time for ourselves to actually forget for one evening about our shitty exes...Sorry rant alert and definitely doesn't apply to the guys on this thread who are bloody fab.

savoretti
I'm not sure. I think she has recently re-started dating, after taking on her daughters son.

We had a phone call chat tonight, which went well. We're just trying to get a date sorted

Glad to hear your ex had calmed down Lillyrose
Savoretti no if we were going to see each other it would be tomorrow. But I've only had 2 messages today and nothing since I replied at 2pm, don't know if she's hoping I'll just give up or is testing how long I'll stick around for. Shit behaviour either way imo.
I might text later just saying I need to meet for a chat tomorrow.

Sooooooo

I have a date on Thursday with Mr Scottish who seems bloody perfect. Tall, beardy, funny, clever. We work in the same industry and he’s errr Scottish.

Date lined up for tomorrow with Mr Quiz but not feeling it and I would have to travel to him but feel bad as I know I have lost interest because of Mr Scottish, not sure whether to cancel or just go!

Me Luigi is back in contact. Apologised for been a bit quiet he is away with kids. Seems really nice but not home for 3 weeks so will see how messaging goes.

Not sure what to do re Mr Big. Spending whole next weekend together. I used to tell him about all my dates and he told me but since the whole are we / are we not exclusive drama I feel strange telling him even though I told him I would be swiping as he is not offering me enough / regularly enough. 🤷‍♀️

ant330 she's being really unfair now, I hope you get some closure either way.

I'm still seeing MrS, it's all very lovely and we've booked tickets for an event in November!! I'm seeing s guy on Sunday as we've been chatting for a while so agreed to meet for coffee. MrM I'll call him.
I do really like MrS but on the basis of not exclusive chat I'm still keeping my options open whilst hoping he sorts himself out

@AverageGuy completely forgot it was her grandchild she has taken on. Massive respect to her...
Hope you can get a date in soon, she deserves some time for herself

@Ant330 - from everything you have said about her this is really odd behaviour.... I can sulk/be a bit grumpy but it’s forgotten the next day at the latest. I’d be so wary about this. I wonder if she is pushing for you to do the finishing so she doesn’t have to. No one can genuinely still be in a strop after this long surely?

ant- I’m sorry but she is taking the biscuit now!! I am getting angry on your behalf. Totally unfair

Err- that 6ft 4 gorgeous Cornishman who treats me like a queen pal, now fuck the fuck off... @JeSuisPrest this had me laughing!

@JeSuisPrest amen 🙏 sister!!🤣😂🤣😂🤣 everything you said about shit exes and everyone expecting us to do 1235324455 things a day and be perfect at it all. I'm very lucky and have the summer holidays off so things are not so structured and I can relax a bit. Come September I need to get my shit together as it's going to be a busy year with work and kids activities, just the thoughts of planning pack lunches sends me in to a panicky sweat 😫.

Hi all, I know I'm really rubbish at diving in regularly and giving enough support. You are all so lovely how you do so much for each other!
I'm sorry to hear about things not going well for those that may have been hoping / had feet firmly planted on the smitten cheek bench.
I had a date on Fri night - not an OLD date I guess as I was set up by a good friend so it was her, her hubby and him. I thought he (I'll call him MrHT) was nice but he seemed a little down/trodden. But I kind of had hopes he might call / text over the weekend to ask me out for a coffee / drink. So I could see what he's like without his ex-colleague (my friend) about. But I've heard nothing..
I know I need to lose a couple of stone so am feeling unhappy about myself physically (at 5'4 at late 40s previously a size 8ish until 18 months ago and now a size 12). Argh.
Anyway, I went on Happn whilst at work today and crossed paths with some much nicer men than I have done so where I live. Should I bite the bullet and think "fuck it, I'm slightly fat but this is who I am?"

@Peanuthedz also pretty much posted to say I too matched with someone on Hinge who was matching with women to sell his stuff. That was back in Feb I think. He was selling his book / psych services to "take control of your life and make yourself happy". I didn't report him but I told him (nicely); good marketing plan, but he was being a predator and reaching out towards potentially vulnerable women and actually his plan would come crumbling down if someone outed him on his Amazon book reviews.. He was gorgeous in a Hugh Grant way so I hadn't believe my luck. Any way it'd be a definite no go from me..

Here here Marl. I don't have young children but (long story I won't go into here) my ex completely wrecked my life mid-divorce. Because he was so incredibly angry that I was divorcing him. I am still not sorted nearly 3 years after the divorce. He is still trying to get at me (using the house now). He won't ever stop. I'm much more resilient now to his nastiness, but have to vent sometimes!! He's such a pathetic specimen of a man. Can't believe I married such a Grade A cunt ....

@CocoKoko123 I think it's about 8 months now but it has been on and off. And it's definitely been bumpy! I think one of my biggest issues is that I realise all my past relationships, I've known my dps as friends before we started seeing each other. So I knew who they were if that makes sense. My marriage lasted a long time and all my 'proper' relationships before then were over a year. I didn't date properly for almost 8 years post divorce (dabbled a bit but nothing serious).

I've found it harder than I thought starting with someone who I know nothing about. And I'm not someone who has trust issues at all. It was fine when it was all casual dating but the minute it got more serious, I almost wanted to stop everything and say 'right now I really need to know who you are!'. For example I only have his word on how his past relationships broke up. Or how he's lost jobs etc. And I still to this day find it extremely weird that I'm seeing someone who I met over the internet and could be telling me absolute cobblers about a lot of stuff!

That's why I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do this again if this doesn't work out. I'm not sure I'm fundamentally suited to meeting people this way as being safe and secure is so high up my list to feel happy in a relationship and it takes ages for me to feel that with a stranger!