Dating Thread 165: The bravest thing you will ever do is love again ❤

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Cassettes I was fond of him but there were a few things that made me feel a little bit uncomfortable. Nobody is perfect so I was happy to cut him some slack. It is a shame that it ended but I am not devastated, just a bit disappointed as it is so hard to meet someone that I find attractive and also get on with.

Thanks, all. Yep it was right, Ant. Know that feeling lily.

Hugs to all those on the sad sofa or hovering nearby.

Remember we are the prize and one day you'll look back and be glad you or they walked away

Ginmel I'm glad you kept your standards high.

Lily and Peanutz sending hugs.

Ant I'm pissed off on your behalf with her!! She should have the guts to end it if she's not feeling it.

@Ant330 sorry, I might have missed why she said you reminded her of her ex? It sounds like she just needs a bit of time out as you both seemed quite full on very quickly? To me, just sounds a bit distant but still wants to be together?

A quick update and a LOT of overthinking from me: Mr Bucket is keen for a third date (yay) but every time I go on WhatsApp he’s online. Obviously I know the score and that he’s probably multi-dating but it still triggers a sinking feeling in me. My ex conducted his four year affair over WhatsApp and I am hyper-sensitive as a result, I guess.

Oh guys. Sorry not not mention individuals but I am 3 sheets to the wind! So sorry to hear there is so much crap on thread!!!! You are all bleeding delightful and lovely and deserve lovely lovely people in your lives 😘😘

Thank you again bats. Your kind comment helped push me to delete his name off WA. Had deleted all the messages already. Not seeing his name on WA will be sadly good for me. No need to block him though, fortunately as we ended on a fine enough note...

@Ant330 I'm also pissed at miss h. Six days is just not fair. I really hoped this was going to resolve quickly and well for you.

FMFL I am not minimising your feeling cos I hate Mr Big been online when he is not talking to me BUT I speak to all my friends on WA now and sometimes I must be online all night taking to just my lovely friends x

Thanks Marls yes I need to just get over this trigger; people use WhatsApp for a million different reasons and besides, after two dates being a bit precious about him chatting to other women won’t get me far.

A lot of people also use whatsapp to make calls, if I had my status on it I would have been online for about an hour earlier as I was using it to make a video call. If you turn your own usage status off you also can’t see anyone elses, would that help?

Simon can you do that? If so yes that would help massively! I’ve already turned off the read receipts; if I could switch off the little ‘online’ flag my life would be a lot less stressful.

Placemarking to catch up later. :)

fmfl I work for a global company and we do all our internal dialogue on WA so I assume I must be “online” all the time but often I am actually working and ignore friebds/ irons

Yeah, if you go in privacy you can hide your status, this then means you can’t see the status of others.

Not sure I’ll get to see MrNN tomorrow, MiniSJT and I spent a lot of the day at Bfs, but he went a bit tired just after lunch, so he may not be well enough for nursery tomorrow. Bit of a bummer, but Friday should still be okay.

It does seem a lot of us have had a fairly crap week, it’s not fair.

Thanks both, for the help and for understanding! It’s a bit shit being able to be ruined by a stupid WhatsApp status.

Alanis yes that's the faint glimmer of hope I have that there will be an explanation that can be worked through together on the understanding that we don't do this again.
Re her ex, she said something to me on Tues night that made me feel a bit insecure. When somethings bothering me I go quiet, which is something her ex used to do. Unfortunately it also sounds like he was very controlling and short tempered, which I am not but it seems it's caused her to worry I might be.
I understand that, but it's her behaviour since that I don't get or appreciate.

simon I love that your son is miniSJT mini Marlborough and Mini Malbec sounds awful but I chose my name for the things I really really missed though IVF and pregnancy 🙈

Ant like others I'm really pissed off with her now. She's being a dick.

@Ant330 my ex could also be quite controlling and short tempered and I had a real habit afterwards of just retreating a bit if I saw signs of this. It might be that she really likes you but is scared it's going to come tumbling down because you seem similar to her ex in her eyes. I think, if you like her, just give her the benefit of the doubt, mention she is in your thoughts etc. I tended to run away in the past but did come back if I was proved wrong.

Just chipping in to say ant I am also getting p'd off in your behalf!

Sorry to all those on the thread who have had a shorty day/week and lily hope you're ok after incident with your ex earlier and hope your son is returned to you shortly-how old is he?was he present when his dad was kicking off/phoning you in a rage?

Hi daffo great update - how long has it been now with your bf?

@Ant330 have you hit the 3 month mark. I think that is often make or break.

Mr U is officially a twat. In reply to a long message from me outlining several issues I got 3 words. I'm fine now. Ffs. I think he'd got himself in a stew because I went to a party where there was an ex bf, and then I failed to go to his flat afterwards due to poor communication. He accused me of cheating on him but said he was joking. Which is his way of communicating anything serious. Ie oh I'm going to do x because I love you so much. Haha . So he basically sulked all day then got over it but hasn't apologised or admitted it or anything. I get that he was upset but I don't like the lack of communication.

He's also playing a very dangerous game I'm not happy with. He's using dating apps to try to get business. Which is unfair on the women. And means he is swiping/messaging. He says he would never cheat on me and I actually believe him. But someone more suitable might come his way. Ie 15 years younger than me. And it means that whenever I see that he's online on any social media I assume he's messaging women, which is a head fuck. He doesn't seem to understand why I'm struggling with it. He's totally above board and has offered to show me the messaging but it's making me really insecure. And he won't listen to me. Basically it will split us up but I'm not sure he understands that. And I'm not sure I actually mind. I'm so pissed off with him at his behaviour in cutting me off on the phone. Exh did that practically every time we spoke on the phone.

Sorry that was a complete brain dump. But am I being unreasonable in being upset about this? Esp as he was upset that I merely at a party where there was a random ex. I'm home with kids wondering who he's messaging. We don't message a lot (unlike some!) but it feels unfaithful.

Sorry @Ginmel and @LilyRose88. Wasn't he a lot younger? I did wonder where you'd disappeared to. I found a sympathetic gp and my thyroxine is on the up.

He's using dating apps to help find customers? Wtf? Surely there's no reason for that @peanuthedz that he can't find another way to advertise. I wouldn't be able to accept that. I'm sure they'll women on the sites aren't very pleased either.

He just deleted his account. I suggested setting one up too to get male customers for him. And mentioned sexting. And how I might meet someone who appreciates me. He deleted his within seconds. He's an emotional fuckwit. And I did mess him around a bit last night with arrangements. But that is also tit for tat.

Yes it's catfishing. It's not on. Anyway it's not happening. So the huge offload was unnecessary.