I left DH and now OM has gone

[Betrayedandithurts]

OM and I had been having an affair For past 6 years. During this time we both left partners on different occasions For each other but the timing was never right. First DH lost his job and I couldn’t leave and then OM’s wife had depression then she was sick, but wasn’t really, and he couldn’t leave and then both have had issues with children and timing wasnt right. Both DH and his wife know about us obviously.

Children now older and we decide we had to do it now and we both said we will leave together and I have and my divorce Has finally come through but now OM has disappeared off the face of the earth. I am heartbroken and don’t understand how he can do this to me.Don’t know what to do. He isn’t a nice person is he? Why would he disappear. His wife knows I am divorcing and do you think she just pulling another one of her sick stunts? Sickness, depression, or whatever other thing she has done Before to make him stay? Or is it him?

Ah, divine providence. I do love karma.

You beat me to it N2986

Ain't Karma a bitch?

He was stringing you along the whole time. There was never any intention to leave his wife. It was all an exciting game.

He's a liar and a cheat. And now it is all real and you are genuinely available, he doesn't want you any more.

For 6 years we had talked about this and planned for it and he kept saying it’s what he wants and he just gone and I am really sad.

If he had genuinely wanted more OP he would have made it happen sooner than that. Lesson learned. Move on. And next time, wait until they're single before you get together with them.

Ah well.

He's not a nice person and neither are you.

Any attraction was accentuated by the illicit meetings and thrill of the chase. Now you are finally available he has either lost his bottle or found someone else. Sorry but you are less important to him than he was to you.

Wow. There are a lot of people on this thread who apparently believe themselves to be "without sin".

Neither of you are nice people.

How do you know his wife knows? How do you know she was depressed then ill or that he had issues with his children?

I really don’t understand why you couldn’t have split before. Or him. You clearly had reservations and you absolutely don’t know his motivation. He’s ghosted you. He would have said anything maybe. Or perhaps he’s found a replacement.

Oops!

Just here for the deletion message.

Well, you've made your bed and all that...

I think this is what they call karma.

Wonder how many MNers and yes that's you repliers are as gullible in real life

...If you came here looking for sympathy, I'm afraid you're in for some disappointment...

If any of this is even true, try to learn from the experience. Cheaters cheat, and it's rare that they stop.

UnaCorda - Quantify "Sin" in this context. None of us are perfect of course not.

But I would consider having an extra slice of cream cake whilst on a diet to be a "sin" which is a bit different fucking someone else's husband and cheating on your own for 6 years!

If I did, certainly wouldn't come on here asking for sympathy

How do you know that his wife's illness and depression is a 'sick stunt', OP?

You are correct when you describe him as being "horrible and mean....not a nice person". And he's not the only one is he? .

You've made your bed.

The unkind comments aren’t nice
having an affair is not nice, neither is slagging off his wife.

I’d guess that he told you a lot of things that weren’t necessarily true. His excuses about being out of work / wife being ill / not right time for the children etc etc. All classic tactics in the cheater’s bible.
Sounds as if you are well out of it as is your ex H.

I have some sympathy, as my friend is very unhappy in an arranged marriage. However, this is an ideal time to discover yourself and find out what you like without having a man. Going from an arranged marriage straight into another relationship isn’t ideal. You don’t need a man to be happy.