What do you think of these messages?

[WhatTheHell111]

Name Change for this.

Saw some messages pop up on my husbands phone, thought the sounded slightly flirty and I didn’t recognise the name or number. So last night I went into his phone and found this.. what do you fellow MNetters think? To me it sounds like they already been up to no good.

Also before anyone says I shouldn’t have gone into his phone I know this, but after the messages I saw prior I needed to be sure.

Yes I do think she has a partner, so I think I’ll get in contact. See if she thinks it’s all ‘banter’ too

Very eerie to see some of you have heard the same comments, do you think these bastards just have some sort of script they read off . Anyway I have come to stay at my sisters house, didn’t want to be in that house or anywhere near him.

I don't really agree with the advice a lot of people give in situations like this " look for some hard evidence"

She has hard bloody evidence right there, she doesn't need the ins and outs- excuse the pun

horny emojis
Hey baby

They've either fucked or are planning on doing so

you could try and forgive him and stay
You could leave

I would advise the second choice

take care
💐

First off luckily I took OWs number as so many of you advised because H had changed his passcode, done fingerprint recognition and hidden any contents popping up when screen is locked. And last time I looked properly it appears they’ve been texting on and off over a period of 2months.

So I text OW, she hasn’t replied but had H asking me why I was texting her. I said well you’re a lying bastard so not sure when youre being truthful or lying anymore.

What did you say in your message to OW?
Have you told your sister about the messages? At least you have some support in RL while you try to figure things out.
Hugs to you OP. This is such a horrible situation to be in x

H asked why I was texting her

I’d ask him the same right back

Definitely having an affair.

I hope you're doing ok, OP. What a fucking dick your husband is. and OW is a coward too. the pair of them deserve each other.

Changing his passcode says it all really, shows he is not willing to try and be honest and open so sorry OP hope you are doing ok, glad to hear you have some rl support from sister x

Wow op I'm sorry you're going through this.

Banter only works with two people engaged in it. This is very one sided to me. Your husband is desperate for her and his messages were embarrassing.

So you text OW and she immediately messaged your husband? What a shit bag she is!

I hope her partner finds out too. Banter my arse.

I hope his dick drops off.

Changing his passcode says it all really, shows he is not willing to try and be honest and open

Nail. On. Head.

So sorry OP, but his actons belie his words. It's still going on - or why the phone lockdown?

*actions

Changed passcode confirms everything

Lying scumbag, I hope it was worth it!!!!!!

Good luck OP. Is your sister aware of what’s going on? She will be great support for you.

do you think these bastards just have some sort of script they read off
That is exactly what they have.
The cheaters script!!!!
They ALL follow it.

And now he's locked down his phone!
That tells you all you need to know.

I hope you can get some love and support with your DSis.
Your DH 'Why are you texting OW'
You 'WHY are YOU texting OW'

((((HUGS)))) OP - it's a truly crappy time.

Should have told him you were texting her for banter...

As pervious posters have said, changing password is a massive red flag.. I really hope you're okay OP ❤️

My sister knows, she thinks he is a w*nker anyway so not come as much of a surprise to her.

Didn’t think when he asked why i’d text her, only think I thought was really you’re annoyed at me when you caused this.

Agree with others as well about locking down the phone. My DH unlocked his, put a tracking app on it and left it in front of me when he left the room. OW on the other hand locked her phone down and told her DH it was all my DH chasing her and she told him not interested.
Tellingly she tried to re start the 'friendship' up a few times after things calmed down. I also saw all the texts, I know who chased who. If he knows you texted her they are still in touch. He's not sorry, he's not going to stop as he doesn't want too.

Send the texts to OW DH. I let the OW in my case deal with her side of things and decided not to point out the lies. Really wish I had shown him the texts as he believed her take and now they're expecting a baby and he is unaware that she was planning to leave him.

Gosh, I don't know how you're keeping so cool! Thinking of you xxx

Oh I’m far from cool and after his response I’m definitely leaving. Just getting my ducks in a row.

There's definitely a script, it's here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1634754-Men-affairs-what-is-the-script

My ex husband also sent messages like in your OP and claimed it was 'banter'. It happened over and over again with lots of different women, and he always minimised it if I found the messages (I'm sure there were lots I didn't find out about...). I wasted years of my life snooping through his phone and emails, constantly worrying about finding more messages.

I'm sorry OP - it's a horrible feeling. I hope you're doing ok.