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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What do you think of these messages?

171 replies

WhatTheHell111 · 21/07/2019 13:31

Name Change for this.

Saw some messages pop up on my husbands phone, thought the sounded slightly flirty and I didn’t recognise the name or number. So last night I went into his phone and found this.. what do you fellow MNetters think? To me it sounds like they already been up to no good.

Also before anyone says I shouldn’t have gone into his phone I know this, but after the messages I saw prior I needed to be sure.

OP posts:
OldWomanSaysThis · 21/07/2019 15:19

This is way past "slightly flirty".

Goodnightjude1 · 21/07/2019 15:21

My OH would find his bags on the driveway if I found those messages on his phone. Sorry OP but it doesn’t look good 💐

stilldontgiveaf · 21/07/2019 15:23

This made my heart sink reading those messages. Reminds me of my cheating ex.

Nikhedonia · 21/07/2019 15:25
Sad

I think that's definitely a sign of an affair.

Where did he say he was (the first messages mention hoping she got back home ok, so I'm assuming they were together)?

castlecutie · 21/07/2019 15:31

what a scummy piece of shit your husband is. absolute bastard. i'm sorry for you

newmomof1 · 21/07/2019 15:33

Where had he been (supposedly) that night?

OpheliaTodd · 21/07/2019 15:33

He’s cheating.

Sparkybloke · 21/07/2019 15:38

Afraid it looks like an affair. He's certainly not arranging to pop round and fix the car....really sorry...

Rivkka · 21/07/2019 15:42

Oh no, I'm sorry but it looks bad to me.

RushianDisney · 21/07/2019 15:56

Doesn't look good, is keep quiet for now and gather more evidence. Sorry OP Flowers

newmomof1 · 21/07/2019 15:58

@RushianDisney why would you not confront him?

I couldn't possibly pretend I hadn't seen that!

Psychologika · 21/07/2019 16:02

There can be no reasonable explanation ☹️

littlepeaegg · 21/07/2019 16:03

Oh I'm so sorry op Thanks

JemimaPuddlePeacock · 21/07/2019 16:05

I’m so sorry OP. That’s an affair.

Also, no man has ever called an older less attractive female friend ‘trouble’, it’s exclusively used by lecherous men wanting to bang another woman. Made me feel a bit sick reading those messages so can’t imagine how you feel.

snoopy18 · 21/07/2019 16:08

Slightly flirty? That’s not slightly flirty OP that’s flat out they’re sleeping together - calling them ‘baby’ wow I would have kicked him out already if I found that

Raffles1981 · 21/07/2019 16:09

Yeah, that is more than friendly OP. Sorry Flowers

Cobblersandhogwash · 21/07/2019 16:11

Oh shit. Affair. So sorry.

Now you nail that fucktard by seeing a solicitor first thing tomorrow.

Deadposhtory · 21/07/2019 16:12

Do you have kids

SootySueandSweeptoo · 21/07/2019 16:17

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

belle40 · 21/07/2019 16:20

So sorry OP. Hideously similar to my ex messaging the OW. They had been conducting a full blown affair for months.

Opossooom · 21/07/2019 16:29

Oh OP 😥 what a tosser LTB

castlecutie · 21/07/2019 16:53

@RushianDisney what more evidence does she need, really? her husband is a cheating bastard and this tells it all.

Aperolspritztime · 21/07/2019 16:56

I'm really sorry OP Sad It really did make my heart sink reading those and I don't even know you.

Do you know how you're going to handle this?

C0untDucku1a · 21/07/2019 16:59

Personally i would look again at where they plan to meet... then go. Sometimes people need to see it themselves to leave. Confronting him will just mean he denies and hides. Unless you have the nerve to say I know about the affair and want you to leave. Say and confrom nothing else. He might trip himself up.

But do check whatsapp for her info and get a friend to do too in case she has you blocked

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 21/07/2019 17:18

My way to go about this would be

  1. Whatsapp as PP have said
  2. Keep everything normal but see if you can find out when they will meet next. Even perhaps make myself scarce for the evening so they have a chance of a meet up.
  3. Turn up at said meeting place with a bag of his stuff
  4. Really work hard at being ok!

Sorry OP but I see no positive explanation for these messages! Thanks