What do you think of these messages?

[WhatTheHell111]

Name Change for this.

Saw some messages pop up on my husbands phone, thought the sounded slightly flirty and I didn’t recognise the name or number. So last night I went into his phone and found this.. what do you fellow MNetters think? To me it sounds like they already been up to no good.

Also before anyone says I shouldn’t have gone into his phone I know this, but after the messages I saw prior I needed to be sure.

Do you still have access to the phone? You can set up whatsapp web quickly and easily and watch from there.

What Iputthescrewinthetuna said.

I'm so sorry you are going through this, Whatthehell.

{flowers]

Definitely looks like something is going on, sorry OP

Yeah, that's not good :(

My husband would find his bags on the doorstep if I found those messages.
I'm very sorry OP, the bastard definitely having an affair

Echo PP - definitely an affair

When I say slightly flirty I meant to messages I saw pop up which made me want to look further, then I found those.

So it is someone he works with, on this particular night he text her he was out at work drinks, Steve is another one of his colleagues, looks like they caught the same train back out of the city (by the texts) and were going to head back to hers. Some night he wouldn’t answer the phone to me I’m guessing. We do have one child, a beautiful 11 month DD .

I’m thinking to myself ok definitely what a fucking bastard.. have they’ve shagged? I mean they must have. Do I leave tomorrow and just say I know you’ve had an affair. Do I bide my time. And then I just want to throw his stuff out, lock the doors and just lay low for a day.

Tell him to leave. He’s the cheater and you have a little one to think about.

I’m so sorry

What's your housing situation op? Do you work? Is dd in childcare?

I'd bide your time and look for definite evidence, like credit card purchases for her, or a room. Also activate the location on his phone if that's possible so you know exactly where he is. If he says he's going out somewhere maybe check that he's where he says he is.

I'm not really a fan of DIY private investigation but I know that unless you have cast iron proof of cheating he will lie and do it so convincingly (even making you feel guilty for doubting him) and because you don't WANT to believe it, you may even believe him. Having rock solid evidence makes it more difficult for him to lie his way out of it.

Either way it's over.

Not good, she's got a partner too by the sounds of it

This looks bad. So so sorry op xx

I don’t think they’ve shagged- yet- OP, if it’s any consolation. Although Steve was probably the only thing stopping them, rather than your marriage.

I’d imagine they went on this night out, got a bit flirty, he wanted to go back to her place but Steve (the girl is implying, and your H thinks) cockblocked him.
Your H has then tried to follow it up with a dinner offer.

I also think, if I’m honest, it sounds like your H is doing the pursuing and she’s just playing along. Because if his colleague had REALLY wanted to shag him, they’d have got a hotel in the city.

And all of this I know because I was the object of desire for older married men a few times in my early twenties working in London, and this is absolutely typical of exchanges with older men I worked with.

I’d flirt with no intention of taking it further- (bad, as I knew they were married, generally, but I was young and in a very dark place- regret it greatly now) and they would be very fucking serious.

Either way LTB. Sorry.

You don’t need any more proof.

Do you have joint accounts? Take out half of everything. Copy all important documents, bank statements etc.

Find your strength and kick him out, you and your child deserve so much more. Do you have any support in real life? Family or a friend you could call?

This doesn't sound like an emotional affair.. it sounds like a sexual affair.

I'd do as PP suggested:
Personally i would look again at where they plan to meet... then go. Sometimes people need to see it themselves to leave.

And don't let him know you're on to him yet. There is more evidence to get and if you can catch them together, even better. You tell him now & he will hide and deny everything and the situation will be minimised.

How dare he do this to you and your little family

I'd kick him out ASAP. He's a dick!

So horrible. Worst nightmare. Gather more evidence honey and stay strong. X

There's an easy familiarity to those texts that suggest an established relationship.

I'm sorry lass.

Time to look at your finances and home situation.

So sorry.... it looks bad

Oh you poor love! That is heartbreaking.

I wouldn't advise lying low and confronting them together. Why put yourself through that!

I'd tell him you know and kick him out! Whatever you decide you must be devastated. Sending you lots of strength for you and your baby girl x

Ugh, he used a "horny" emoji.

LTB. He's a disgrace doing this to you and his little baby.

He is disgusting! - you will get through this op. I know it doesn't feel like that now but you will. You will have a great life with your dd - he will live the miserable life of a liar!. He deserves everything he gets! Sending you luck!

Messages = Betrayal

He is a liar and a cheat. Pack his bags, tape on a copy of the messages (or text that you know), and leave out front. You can discuss contact arrangements later.

Tell family and friends. You would benefit from the support of counseling to help you move forward with your little daughter.