Dating thread 164. Fortune favours the brave

[Marlboroandmalbec34]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@Coffeeandchocolate9 oooooohhh I don't know, I think I've slept with some things worse than dead, dusty spiders!!

Just kidding.... agree with @MoreNiceCereal!!

Photos of grossness for your viewing pleasure

Oh wow. Glad you got photos, but no idea who you should complain to. Safe journey home.

Oh no coffeeandchocolates9 at least you got a refund. Can you imagine how grim it would have been if you'd met there.

Although mr 5in1 is being a bit pants. Unless literally his mum is in a really bad way he should have text you. I'd be annoyed by that.
Lovely meal on the way home, or takeaway and wine when you get in.

Oh coffee I think I might have missed a bit. Wee you supposed to meet there?

@Coffeeandchocolate9 I have stayed in some very grim places, so I feel your pain.

@LooUpdate I would definitely wait longer than ten dates, you barely know someone after meeting them ten times. I do however hope tonight is going okay.

Well while everyone else is downstairs, I’m in my hotel room as MiniSJT needed his bed before he turned into an actual demon. He has been up since six, so he did really well to make it to 8:30. I’m going to sit in the bathroom in a few minutes and facetime MrNN (so I don’t wake MiniSJT), we’ve booked a lunch slot on Tuesday as he flies out to the States on Thursday to work for two weeks ☹️ I’d like to sneak him back to mine in the evening, but it’s too early for that and you can guarantee MiniSJT would choose that as a night when he is constantly getting up.

@Sunshineandflipflops what are your expectations when dating? I feel similar to you but I reckon that apathy may be the reason or maybe my heart broke beyond repair (I separated 4 years ago and I am emotionally available, but wonder if my heart is able to feel excitement and butterflies again or I am just a cynic)
@Sidge he is definitely a keeper. I used to have intelligent in the "looking for" box, but now I have kind. It is really what I want the most in a partner at 36.

@Crustaceans I am in Canada

@CassettesAreCool I know what you mean!! A guy I was dating knew I love star wars and sent me a photo of him dressed as a stormtrooper. I don't know why but it was such a turn off... and probably what made me decide not to have another date with him

I went on date 3 with MrChef, dinner and walk, talked a bit more about personal stuff and our childhood. Kissing has improved and he would definitely kiss me all night if I let him lol

We have arranged date #4 for today - were going to a Shakespeare play in the park, but it is raining and have rearranged to cafe and board games.

So it's been 4 weeks since MrTall and I started messaging. I miss him so much when he's not with me. So soppy but so true...he feels the same too.

@LooUpdate hopefully things are going ok with MrS

Anyone on the smitten bench please stay on this thread as it really gives hope...I was so invested in @JeSuisPrest and MrC that I knew there was someone for me and MrT came along. It really is a numbers game!

Our messaging is still going strong...we're on 8.5k in 4 weeks!

@butterflyFed I don't have many expectations really, other than to be attracted to someone in some way. I don't expect fireworks as I'm not sure I've ever experienced that straight away but there has to be something to draw me to someone.

It's just easy with MrSAS. Just spent the evening with him and it was lovely. Drinks, cinema and dinner. He's coming over to mine on my child free evening next week and as I go away for 2 weeks soon after there's little point in me trying to meet anyone else for the time being.

Ah, I see @butterflyFed. It’ll be a lot more impressive than the Glasgow subway then. It’s just a circle, and you can go clockwise or anti-clockwise. Nothing more. I’m glad MrChef has upset his kissing game.

That’s another 1.5k in a week @kermitrulesok! And you described that as the messaging starting to settle down. 😂

Today is the one year anniversary of my having ‘met’ MrSG. Sadly he’s away at a conference for work. We did drink some champagne last night and he wrote me a really sweet card. My Saturday night has involved sorting out DS2’s room a bit and assembling an Ikea chest of drawers on my own.

@Crustaceans happy one year! That's really nice and glad it's still going strong!

OMG @Coffeeandchocolate9 that hotel room looks like a health hazard! What did you do in the end? Did Mr5in1 contact you?

Happy anniversary crust

@Crustaceans I’m a day too late but happy anniversary!

@Coffeeandchocolate9 boak at that hotel. 🤢 maybe it’s best your iron couldn’t make it or you’d have felt obliged to stay and get jiggy with him, then you’d both have ended up in hospital with something nasty...

@butterflyFed you are spot on, kindness is definitely a desirable characteristic. Not the superficial “oh I love kittens and give 50p to a homeless person” kindness but a true deep genuine quality. Intelligence is important in that you need to be able to connect emotionally and intellectually (I’ve got a daft sense of humour, quite sarky and dark sometimes) and need someone that gets that. But I don’t need academic intelligence or someone really deep and philosophical.

@kermitrulesok that made me laugh, us smittens giving you hope. I shouldn’t really be here as I’m not dating and am now in a relationship (eeek!) but I am SO invested in everyone’s stories.

If it’s any consolation, my bloke was my last ditch attempt on swiping as I was so disillusioned with it all. I was fed up with flakes, idiots, ghosts, sex pests and potato men. I started OLD in October last year, and met Mr Eagle in April. I have had a lot of matches, ?20 dates, a fair amount of sex (all pretty good really and definitely ego boosting despite my mum tum and wobbly arse), had a lovely FWB situation, made a couple of friends who I still keep in touch with, and now have met a lovely lovely man who makes me smile and loves me. Yikes.

Happy belated anniversary @Crustaceans 🙂
It's coming up to 4 months since I met Mr SAS 😳

Thanks everyone. I do feel like a total interloper on the thread these days - it’s not like anything MrSG and I are doing even vaguely resembles ‘dating’ anymore. When you’ve sat down together to look through rightmove and talk about how you should buy a big house to fit everyone in, it’s clearly not ‘dating’ anymore.

Incidentally, I realised last night that I have never celebrated an anniversary before. Ever. I was with my ex for a decade and I cannot remember doing so. I’ve certainly never bought or received an anniversary card.

@Coffeeandchocolate9 It does look like that hotel should be reported somewhere. Environmental health?

Ugh. So I dreamt about my ex husband last night and woke feeling a bit crap. Then I just spoke to my best friend in the phone and she told me that someone she knows had been talking to him recently about his relationship with his gf (the one he had an affair with) and talking about whether she wants children as she is only 28 (he is 41). He said he can't because he has had true snip (yes, because you are 41 and we're married with 2 kids you knob).

Anyway, I just could have done without hearing about him and her this morning.

I'm going to go for a run I think before I sink into a vile mood for the rest of the day.

Sorry for all the typos, that was a proper stream of consciousness rant!

I can’t imagine waking up from a dread about your ex is pleasant at all. It sounds like he’s almost certainly going to disappoint his 28 year old GF. But that’s definitely his problem. I hope you feel better after a run.

@Sunshineandflipflops I think some people just can’t understand at all that you just don’t care. I genuinely do not care at all about what my ex does with his life. I don’t care where he goes, who he’s with, whether he’s seeing someone, whatever. I certainly have no interest in photos.

OTOH, my mum would love to know. She’s still obsessed with finding out what my dad is doing (and gossiping about his family). They split up when I was 12 (I’m nearly 40 now) and she’s been with my stepdad for 25 years. Seriously. I feel sorry for her that she hasn’t moved on. I give less thought to my dad than she does, and he’s my (estranged) father.

Loo update: He did it. He actually bloody did it! Last night and again this morning.