This is an abusive relationship, isn't it?

[veeworried]

I am a regular poster who has changed my name and I hope anyone who reads this will understand why.

Basically I've been seeing a man for about 5 months now. Recently his behaviour has been very disturbing. There have been comments and behviour which made me think..that's wierd, or that's wrong but I rationalised them away - fairly mild stuff like critcising my appearance or my flat wasn't tidy enough. More fool me.

Well this all came to a head last weekend when he told me quite categorically that he had raped an ex girlfriend who tried to split up with. He was at my flat when this happened and we were on our own - I was horrified and very scared. He talked me round somehow and then the rest of the weekend was normal.

I have avoided him all week by pretending to be ill but the truth is I really don't want to see him again and want to split up but I'm so scared he will do the same thing to me. At the same time I feel guilty because he isn't always this awful person and I think about the lovely times we have had.

I'm very confused and scared but know win my heart what has to be done. But how do I get the strength to do it?

Thanks anyone who has read through that.

I havent added support before but well done for ending it. I had a couple of abusive relationships/flings.

Thefirst one was when i was about 17, i was engaged to the guy but if i wasnt back by 610, i finished work at 6om then i was having an affair, loads of other stuff, i was horrid looking, had bad teeth, everything was wrong with me. He wore my spirit down for years.

The second one was a fling back in may, ( he used to date a friend of a friend about 10 yrs ago and i thought he was a bit possessive then but we were alot younger so thought he might have changed) he seemed lovely really nice we talked for hours when i was on holiday. We got back and after 42 hours of no sleep i had to go to a new work so a colleague and I went for a drink that i met that day. I should have been seeing him 2 night later for our first date but he hounded me so much why didnt i like him, was i with another guy, did i still fancy him etc as i didnt want to meet him as i was tired.

I had been cooking with work and had to eat 4 cloves of garlic so i really didnt want to kiss him, that came back again as did i not fancy him etc.

Anyway i went on the date and he got funny because i had had a sex life before him and i though gosh i have had enough of this and his behaviour was like the first guy so i chucked him. He started stalking me sending me message saying he knew where i was and even told me he was camping outside my house one night in case i brought a guy home.

I got away from him it is possible, dont feel bad about it lots of us have been through it.

Please dont think that because he hasnt texted that he didnt care, he was a nutter. I am saying dont try to make yourslef feel bad dont take the blame, Its him not you.

Good luck and let us know how you get o.

ss

glad to hear you are still out and free. hurrah for you!

Hooray! Well done - if you need continuing support, please post again, we're here for you xx