Dating thread 163: The best response to someone leaving the door ajar is to shut it for them

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Yep he's going to need a name Mr Ironedagain is too long. He can be Mr Glasses. We are meeting Friday week.

@NotAProperGrownUp My musings are based on the assumption you want to sleep with him... The children should be spending overnighters with their father if this is a permanent split, unless you have reservations about him having them i.e. inappropriate sleeping arrangements/neglect etc. They will have to get used to it sooner or later and the sooner it becomes the norm, the easier it is ime. How old are they?

Regarding the mum tum, I've posted about this before a few times. Men dating 30/40 something mothers do not expect them to have the body of a 20 something. Everyone has got some hang up about themselves - he'll be worrying your ex had a cock like an anaconda, or he won't be able to keep an erection/cum too quickly. Do not apologise for it or feel bad about your tum. You've had a couple of dates. He's under no illusion that you're a size 6 supermodel with a washboard stomach and tits that defy gravity and yet he's suggested a night of fun. He already thinks you're hot AF. 🔥 I'd say go for it.🤷🏻‍♀️

Jesuis I luvs you because of this ☝️

@NotAProperGrownUp 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 fanny gallops 🤣😂🤣 love it!

@NotAProperGrownUp I had sex about a month ago for the first time in 20 years with a new man and I had posted at length on here about my mumtum. Honestly once we started doing it I just didn't even think about it.

@JeSuisPrest absolutely the post of the thread. I think this should be tagged at the start for any woman worried about their figure. ❤️

I have fanny gallops from Mr Glasses. Damn it.

@JeSuisPrest I love you 😂 thank you for making me get a grip

I have finally emerged from the pile of cocks my foray into FAB landed me in. I think this might actually work for me. The occasional no strings hook up for a bit of “wham, bam, thank you mam!” Far more my thing at the moment than a relationship. Thanks for suggesting, will update if I go through with actually meeting someone!

Well I'm feeling a little pissed off. Mr Psych, who I felt had gone a little quiet over the weekend said this morning that he was still up for meeting tomorrow evening if I was and we'd chat later.
It's now 9.30pm and nothing. Tomorrow is my only child free evening this week and is really rather not waste it so what do I do? I messaged him this morning asking if he was still up for it so I'm loathe to message again tonight asking the same thing. I think if nothing is arranged tonight then it's too late for me to arrange anything else.
Why is this so bloody difficult?

@Sunshineandflipflops when I was actively dating this used to really piss me off. I think next time I'm going to have a cut off point. If they dont organise by x time im making other plans.

@Sunshineandflipflops I think I'd message and say "so what are the plans for tomorrow?" Either set a time deadline in your head or be blunt and say you have until 10 to let me know or I'm making other plans as I don't want to waste my only free child night.

@Sunshineandflipflops I'd be majorly pissed off. Message MrSAS and ask him if he's free tomorrow? 🙈 Seems a shame to waste a child free night. If MrPsych gets in touch tomorrow, just say you've made other arrangements as you hadn't heard from him- it's the truth. If he's really keen he'll get something in your diary for your next child free night asap if he knows you don't accept flakiness. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've just messaged asking what the plan is for tomorrow, assuming he still wants to do something (although I asked that this morning and he said yes).
If he's changed his mind I'd just like him to have the decency to let me know.

Ok, feel a bit bad. One of his kids got knocked over by a car today so he's been dealing with that. Still wants to meet but have said if he wants to postpone that's ok.

Do you believe him @Sunshineandflipflops? Relative illness seems to come up so often as an excuse...

I think so. If I was trying to get out of a date I'd think of plenty of things before involving my child in a car accident but then I am nice and I am also a little naive!

It'd be a horrible thing to lie about for sure.

The sceptic in me has to ask what are the odds of his kid being hit the day before you were due to meet?

Yes I think there are simpler excuses to get out of a date than that Sunshine
NotAProper I've agreed wholeheartedly with JeSuis when she's posted on that topic before and I'll do so again. She's spot on imo!

Ghosting is the worst. I would never do that to someone if they had messaged me although have had a couple of mutual ghostings following a date.

Mr Travel is good in person and most of his messages are fine but he occasionally sends me memes or gifs that are just pitched wrong (not dodgy just odd). I wonder if he is not great at reading a situation over text. Going to persevere for now but still not high hopes.

Have a first date tomorrow after work with someone about a decade older than me so will see how that goes.

Need FWB to come over and give me a good seeing to before his holiday. Haven't had any since last Tuesday and getting antsy.

So been messaging MrTall all evening...we've really connected and he's thanked me for being there for him today. Bollocks to it I've got both arsecheeks firmly on that smitten bench.

I'd be inclined to believe him sunshine does he want to postpone? Is his child ok?

@ElektraUnchained I also get grumpy when haven't dtd for a long. Whoop whoop for FWB!

@shitwithsugaron Sorry, miles behind on the thread but...

so I guess I need to learn that all he wants to do is vent rather than he is asking for advice.

Actually did some family therapy for my dd courtesy of the NHS and they were very keen on emotional validation. Unfortunately, problem solving for someone can actually be an invalidating experience.

I completely agree with both of JeSuis's posts on this page