Dating thread 163: The best response to someone leaving the door ajar is to shut it for them

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

That was tongue in cheek guys

Oh shitwith that’s a bit crap of Mr B. We all know how supportive you are to others in thread so I can imagine how lovely and supportive you are irl. Has he made more contact since? I do hope so

Yeah I'd agree shitwith but maybe with his own issues he's just not used to doing it. Particularly as you've said before that when support is offered he refuses it and gets cold, maybe he just needs to understand that even if he doesn't always like getting it that you would appreciate some.

@StealthNinjaMum Bribery is great, my son was two when I adopted him, since then he has lived by the power of the bribe.

@shitwithsugaron I think the communication does lessen as you become more at ease with each other. MrC and I sent thousands of messages during our first couple of months together, but I've noticed over the last couple of weeks we communicate less, but it doesn't make me think there's anything wrong. We always do the good morning messages and speak at least once a day usually when were both in bed, but I'd struggle with 2 messages, especially considering he knew you were feeling so down. A slow day for us is 30 messages 😳 Like you say, see how things go today. Perhaps he genuinely doesn't know what to say or do take you feel better so he's thinking, if he doesn't say anything he can't put his foot in it 🤷🏻‍♀️

shit as long as you're seeing him as much as you were,I wouldn't worry too much about the texting.
I already know I'm txting Mr dadbod more than I would usually do as im about a five a day person,but he seems to like the contact. I know I cant carry on with the twenty we're sending.
Agree he should have messaged you more yesterday though when you were feeling down. Some men arent very empathetic at all and really dont have a clue so hopefully you can chat soon and explain you need that support

So Mr Eagle has demonstrated his worth by being an absolute gem when I ended up as an emergency admission to hospital yesterday. He brought me in and stayed until they told me I was being kept in when I sent him home.

He’s a keeper I think.

Hope you're ok sidge, sounds scary. Mr Eagle sounds lovely

I also hope you’re OK @Sidge. I’m glad MrEagle was there for you.

Are you ok now, Sidge?

Good luck with the adult learning course @shitwithsugaron. I can’t believe MrB didn’t contact you again. I do wonder if he’s just being stupidly self involved (and not realising that you need support too). But he’s not the only one that has problems or needs support - it has to be two way in a relationship.

I do agree that levels of texting do drop off. Who is it that got to 7000 messages in a week? Even scaled down, that level of contact just isn’t going to be sustainable. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

I hope you get more from Mr B today @shitwithsugaron. I do think men (and some women but more often men) can be a bit blind to recognising when you need a bit of care.

I had a tough day on Tuesday and was feeling really overwhelmed with everything and MrSAS asked if I'd like to chat on the phone. I said no as I would probably cry if someone was nice to me but he rang anyway. I didn't cry, thankfully!

Obviously, MrSAS is emotionally unavailable in other ways though, unlike Mr B but it was nice to feel cared for in that moment.

Thank you all for your thoughts today. It's going to be hard. Mr BC will also be meeting basically all my family for the first time today ...😕 We've got a two hour drive, too ...

Sidge I hope you're okay.

The only time a man I was with experienced ED was a one night stand with a chap in his 30s. In contrast, the men my age or thereabouts haven't had an issue. So I wouldn't write off older men ... Mr BC is .... erm .... a 'repeater'. Loads of times in a 12 hour period. I'm very lucky!

shit I think he should have called, it's not unreasonable to have expected that.

Thanks everyone, they’re keeping me in 😕 I’m on IV antibiotics. I’m on immune suppressing meds for RA so they tend to be rather cautious if they suspect infection.

Mr Eagle has proved he cares for me which is lovely. He’s seen me looking shite and not run away screaming!! I called my exH yesterday asking him to have the girls as I had to go into hospital and he said he couldn’t. What a tosser.

@shitwithsugaron I don’t think you’re expecting too much from MrB - he’s hardly giving you the support you’ve given him.

@BatshitCrazyWoman thinking of you today.

Sidge so pleased Mr Eagle is being a support. And WTF at your ex's response

Thanks shit. Am faffing on MN to take my mind off everything. Fortunately have a load of box packing for my move to do tomorrow so will be busy which will help get over the awfulness of today.

@Sidge Your ex sounds like a dick. I’m glad you’re OK. Sometimes it’s good that they’re over cautious.

@BatshitCrazyWoman I hope today is OK. It says even more about MrBC that he’s going to be there supporting you even though he’s never met your family before. He sounds like a keeper.

@shitwithsugaron You are a ‘big girl’ but you do deserve as much support as you give. You’re always generous and thoughtful in supporting strangers online, so I can only imagine his great you are for people in RL.

Ha @BatshitCrazyWoman sometimes even the stress of moving house comes in handy.

@BatshitCrazyWoman Thinking of you today x

@BatshitCrazyWoman hope today goes as well as it can

@BatshitCrazyWoman hope things go ok for you today