Dating thread 163: The best response to someone leaving the door ajar is to shut it for them

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@Savoretti and @kerkyra Good luck for your dates today (and anyone else who's got something lined up)

@TooOldForThis67 I've been on this OLD forum too long- I read that as he helped you put together a swinging bench and immediately thought it must be some sort of sex thing 😳😂

@MoreNiceCereal Laughing together and good kissing are the foundations of any good relationship. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.🤞🏻

Getting ready for my weekend with MrC. I've been told to bring a bikini - as well as the duty visit with Scary Aunty, we're going to the beach so he can have a surf and I can drool over his glistening chest hair in the sunshine 😂 48hrs child free, I feel a prisoner with a weekend pass.

Sigh. Second date with Mr Courteous postponed by him AGAIN. He has shit in his life, which is what is behind this, but I’m going to have to back away and just be friendly now, as I don’t want shit in my life. We’ve only met once, this is all too much!

jesuis sounds like a fab weekend.

batshit and shitwith hope all intros go well

Good luck with your dates everyone

I met exes GF at a local community event where I knew everyone, the kids were there, half the people didn't know we'd even split which made for an interesting day. Dick. She seems very nice if rather posh and their relationship seems to entail rather a lot of booze.

My kids are keen to meet mr U but I don't think they will be. He needs a talking to again as he's expecting me to run around after him. Although I suspect that may be a Greek thing.

I forgot to say @BatshitCrazyWoman sorry to hear about your mum. That's never an easy one no matter what your relationship was like.

@TooOldForThis67 hopefully you won't be on the progesterone phase when they both stay. Could end up knocking their heads together! I read that as swingers bench too. Oooh. We could have a swingers bench, there's plenty of you here! I'd love a turn sometime....

Sea and chest hair @JeSuisPrest. That is a perfect day

Quick update from me. Had two dates with Mr 007 but not really feeling it and I think he must have felt the same as he hasn't been in touch since our last date on Sunday. So I guess we have ghosted each other but it feels like the right thing to do.

Met Mr Yoga twice and we really get on well together. Lots of kissing and I fancy him like mad. We also have similar views on things which are important to us both. I am seeing him tonight and am unsure whether to dtd or not, as things are hotting up between us. I realised that I don't know his address or his surname, or whether he is dating others, so I will find out about all these things before deciding whether to dtd.

I am still chatting to Ms PT as a friend, and we will probably meet up for a coffee soon. No chance of romance but she is a lovely person and we are both into running so we have lots to talk about.

I am off on my hols on Monday with my youngest daughter, so will be awol for a while. I really need a holiday as work has been awful and it will be so good to have a break from the toxic atmosphere there.

There has been too much to catch up with on the thread but congrats to all who are loved up on the smitten bench and commiserations to those who have been hurt or are still yet to meet someone.

It was me who reminded you @TooOldForThis67 Glad for you and him that you did the right thing. You sound a really decent person so I knew you'd feel better for ending the contact.

Impromptu date with Mr Glasses last night. Was fun.

Oooh lillyrose88 Mr Yoga sounds promising.

I am off to a wedding on my own, won’t know anyone other than the bride and am driving! Mr Big offered to come but I havnt got a plus 1 ☹️ Wish me luck peeps!

Lol at swingers branch peanut

Oh and re kids/ new partners. My ex introduced his girlfriend to the kids are 3 weeks. He told my 3 yr old not to tell mummy and now after 7 months refer to her as their stepmom. He is a twat!

Me Big is coming to me this week, he had never been when I have the kids before. I am hoping they stay in bed but they are only 3 & nearly 2 so no guarantees!

@JeSuisPrest 48 hours childfree sounds amazing.

My cousins getting married next weekend so I’ve got to buy something for MiniMe to wear today, they had a nice suit in Boss a few weeks ago that I should have bought, but it’s gone now so I’m hoping they have something nice in Paul Smith or I’ll be a bit stuck.

I’m seeing MrNN on Tuesday lunch, no idea what to get for his birthday 🤷🏽‍♂️ I might for for footie tickets if I can’t think of anything. Sadly he hasn’t seen the light and ditched footie for rugby.

Mr TDB is a cricketer (not pro or anything) I'm not sporty at all, so I guess I will learn about it! He's also got a chemistry PhD, so he's very smart. I'm swooning, I admit.

I ended it with fwb today, and he took it brilliantly. He's such a sweetheart, I'm really happy I met him.

Try ted baker @SimonJT. Debenhams usually have ted baker kids clothes, which will include occasion wear/suits. Or monsoon kids. John Lewis kids is good for that too.

I had success in Paul Smith in the end, he stayed still enough to be measured for the alterations as well, then we got home and he had a tantrum as someone had eaten all of the oreos. He had eaten all of the oreos.

Facetiming MrNN in a few minutes, MiniMe is in bed and I’m out of beer, gutted, I now fully sympathise with the oreo tantrum.

Goodness,I'm only five pages into Mr unavailable and the fall back girl and already learnt stuff about me which I hadn't realised. Scared of commitment is one. I think by the time I finish the book I will have my shit together.
Date today was lovely. Was a bit of a spark and I knew I liked him as got self conscious at times looking him in the eyes when talking. No kiss but he's texting loads.says I'm lovely and look nothing like my profile pics.....I look better!

Hope all the meetings of boyfriends friends and auntie's went well

Ah simon that’s no good but did me me laugh

morenice Mr TDB sounds great and glad all ended well with FWB

Just ordered a new overnight bag online. Will be needed Friday night.

Before I forget again thanks to the poster whose iron is Mr runner. If you hadn't shared about almost getting rid of him as a knee jerk reaction I wouldn't recognised my mistake and wouldn't have contacted Mr Glasses again after I had a bit of the same and wrong reaction to him

Well, I gave up on Mr NHS as a bad job and have been messaging a few potential irons; and now he’s back! No filth at all, he’s been v sweet. Turns out he’s lived a very different life to me - think Pretty Woman except I don’t really look like Julia Roberts ...this is a potential relationship doomed to failure isn’t it.

Whoever it was who advised me to get first dates out of the way early, I can only apologise for not following your advice. There’s still a week to my date with Mr NHS and I change my mind on whether or not it’s a good idea daily. I should have listened!

FMFM a week is a long time,can you not fit in a quick hour before then? An hour is all you need for a quick drink and hello.
I think you should go for it though, life styles may differ but it takes all sorts and you just never know. Everyone brings something to a relationship 🙂

@kerkyra I really wish we could; I’d leap at the chance to have a half hour coffee with him just to get it over with Unfortunately the nature of his job is that he’s often on call and he lives and works a few hours away, so it has to be a time when he can leave work and I am sans child. Which is basically in 9 days’ time 🤬 i dunno, I’m basically breaking ALL the rules on p1 of the thread and something in my water is telling me to just give it up and find someone logistically more available.

I haven’t broken rule #1 though; that one is sacrosanct.

ginmel that was me! Poor Mr Runner will never know how much overthinking and anxiety I suffered at the start and there were times when I felt I was chasing him which felt wrong. Anyway it's been nearly two months now and I'm still on the smitten bench, we have had dinner twice this week, and I am starting to meet his friends so it seems to be going well.

So all you peeps on the smitten bench...how do you know? I met with MrTall this evening and something has changed and I wanted to utter the L word!! We've been messaging/seeing each other for only 3 weeks?? Is this too soon? x