Dating thread 163: The best response to someone leaving the door ajar is to shut it for them

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Thanks. I'll send him a message at some point this weekend.

On the dates meeting kids thing, what would you all like to know if your ex- was in a new relationship (assuming your ex- was dating etc.) ?

Found out recently my ex- had told DS to tell her everything about my dating so guess she feels worried I might run off and evade responsibilities.

@HairyArsedMan I don't care who my ex is seeing, it only concerns me if he's thinking about making introductions, though I'm not sure what kind of say I have in that anyway. I think it's just a courtesy thing especially if the other parent is expected to answer questions about "Daddy's new girlfriend" ...🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe she’s just nosey, rather than worried @HairyArsedMan.

I have no idea if my ex is seeing anyone. I genuinely don’t care in the least. I’m not even vaguely curious. My ex was (and is) a shit to me but I really don’t think he’d do anything to DS’s detriment.

Tbh, I’m not sure ex is capable of loving an adult human. He’s said as much himself. So he may never want to introduce DS to anyone. OTOH, he’s a useless human being, so he probably would like someone to look after him. 😂

As long as the people in ex’s life are nice to DS, it doesn’t matter anyway.

My exP would go apeshit if he thought I was seeing anyone (it’s been two years and it was he who had a LTR with another woman). Not that he has any need to worry right now, radio silence from Mr NHS today after me very gently cooling the situation down. So guess he’s out of the picture. Bit disappointed but have given myself a shake and I’m back messaging on Bumble again.

I was upset when I heard about XH’s gf because we were supposed to be friends, and he should have respected me enough as a friend to not let me be the last to know. Lesson learned: he is not my friend. Even more, because he had left it to DD to tell me, which was v painful for her. The fact he found someone to take the burden of worrying about him off my three DDs has delighted me - so I’m pissed off now that he seems to be fucking it all up with her. He’s such a liability.

@FMFL Mine went mad when he found out I was seeing FWB, and we weren’t even married/no children together and he had been having a six month affair.

It’s been so humid today, even MiniMe was slow at soft play as it was so hot.

MrNN’s birthday on Monday, whats the etiquette, do I do something or just treat it as a normal day? I only know as I had to copy his documents when he came into work

@SimonJT You've been seeing him a while now, right? I'd get a little something I think.

About to leave for my dinner date with Mr TDB. Eeeek. Monday night was fun, I hope tonight is even moreso.

I'm in the process of having to allow my ex's new partner to meet the children. My ex knows no boundaries and initially suggested she came over and helped him babysit (in my house), and more recently suggesting we all went out together (why!!??). The amusing thing is if I met someone, my ex would inevitably threaten him because that's the kind of person he becomes when angry.

eesha your ex sounds a nightmare 💐

@CassettesAreCool yes he can be. That's really why I've continued with a very casual FWB arrangement with someone who is a bit strange, hippie like and totally not my type. He makes me happy and feel peaceful rather than always being scared of what might happen.

Bloody new phone has deleted 2 messages before I could hit post 😤 short version... ex told son she was dating my 'mate' she had affair with but didn't tell me she'd told him.
I had to ask her as I was worried he'd hear from somebody else.
Just reinforced the opinion I have of her now.

Ooooh,it very quiet tonight. Is everyone on a date? Hope they're all going well.
I have a date tomorrow,I said I could meet him after my food shop in his town and he said did I need any help? I said I could manage( not about to have another supermarket date!)
I wonder how lily88 got on the other week with her few dates,i dont think I've seen an update

Hope you're comfortable lovemusic and the dog is keeping you company.

Wishing Love a speedy recovey.
I have an awkward situation Sat night. My STBXH is back from abroad to see his kids (2 from prev) and will be staying here. He'll get back very late. MrWow and I are going out and I said he could stay. Ex has met him several times and they get on ok. Just going to be a bit weird all waking up in the same house, lol.
In other news. I sent a msg to MrBE apologising for the silence, explained that I am so busy doing up the house and then it will be school hols, so not in a position to pursue anything. Omitted I'm seeing MrWow. He sent a lovely msg back saying he understands and to keep in touch. I feel better tbh, ghosting is shit and thanks to whoever it was who reminded me.
Bit disappointed with lifegoes. Why not fade away rather than make some people feel a bit shit. We are all grown up's and make our own choices even if we know they are wrong. That's why this forum is here, to support whatever happens. I'm sure we've all had to bite our tongue's at some point and edit our responses or give a 'nicer' version of how things are going.
MrWow came over straight from work yesterday, unasked, and got stuck in helping me put together a swing bench. Didn't finish until 10.30pm. We worked well as a team, had a laugh. His parting words were, "That's got to be worth a BJ". Lol.

On the train back from date #2 with Mr TDB. Oh he makes me laugh, and he's an amazing kisser. I really like him.

That sounds really promising Cereal.

I am having fun!

Was a bit fed up last week after what I thought was me messing up things with a newish iron. However I decided to get swiping again, got a couple dates in diary for next week and an afternoon of ‘fun’ booked with Mr Stillabittoomarried. Didn’t really make me feel better but then got chatting to someone on POF last night, turns out we would have crossed paths growing up, knew a lot of the same people. It felt really comfortable, we snuck in a coffee date today and I have a good feeling. Going to call him MrTri

Oooh hopefully promising @savoretti

@CassettesAreCool I think that your situation is so different from mine. I done pretend to be friends with my ex (for reasons I’ve outlined on previous threads). And DS did not choose to tell him. I actually told him it was OK to say something to his dad, but he doesn’t like to tell his dad too much (because his dad always over reacts). And we have almost no mutual friends so he wouldn’t hear it from someone anyway.

Savoretti and Cereal - sounds great.

TooOld that is going to feel weird. But 😍 at you and Mr Wow DIY-ing together (that sounds a bit rude! You know what I mean ...).

Love I hope your resting and recovering

Mr BC is going to meet my friend and her husband this morning as they are helping to move some stuff into my new place ...

you're, I mean !!