Dating thread 163: The best response to someone leaving the door ajar is to shut it for them

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Oh I wondered if he’d ever found the tortoise. It’s good it turned up.

@Lillyrose19 hmmm listening to people like jesuisprest, hairyarsedman, ant330, shitwithnosugaron who have been with their irons much, much less than 4-5 months only you can decide if that is enough for you.

I hope it works out but I would be worried that someone who joined for an ego boost actually meant it when he said he doesn't want to hurt people. I wonder if anyone else on the thread did online dating for an ego boost? Most of us have had the opposite of an ego boost from online dating!

I am glad the tortoise turned up, I actually was thinking about it the other day. I cannot remember to get my childrens' PE kits to school on the correct days yet can remember that the boyfriend of someone who I have never met has a roving tortoise!

OMG so happy to hear about the tortoise! And all the luuurrve that's going on.

Over here on the commitment-phobe bench, spent last night with Mr Greedy FWB (hot but unavailable). It was bloody fantastic AND I've realised I sleep much better with him in my bed than on my own. A big moment actually, as I had been kidding myself about liking being a starfish. Another small step towards not being a commitment-phobe?

Like a good girl, I have been trying to seek commitment rather than just wild animal sex and a good laugh with a nice man (Mr Greedy). First date tomorrow with Mr Data (rearranged). It feels like I'm just going through the motions TBH as we have barely chatted, but there is a small chance he could be The One so I'm going through with it. Second date on Saturday with Mr Courteous (rearranged). In so very many ways we are on the same page but I don't think the sexual attraction is there for me. Let's see.

And in the background (well, on holiday) is Mr Mad FWB, kinky date arranged for mid-July and a kinky holiday in September. He is my catnip but it can never go anywhere as he wants no commitment, so I've kept these dates in the diary but shall have no problem with blowing him off if things develop elsewhere - likewise, he would have no problem backing out if he met someone.

Sorry for the essay but there is literally no-one IRL I can share with, and all these possibilities are what is keeping me going!

I'll sit next to you, Cassettes. I snogged 3 different men over the weekend with no regrets. I don't want a relationship and will probably stop dating for a while soon, but until then I'm having fun.

@JeSuisPrest I'm so glad the tortoise has turned up!!

@BatshitCrazyWoman I'll budge up on the Beyoncé bench - I'm expecting @Ant330, @Marlboroandmalbec34, @Crustaceans along too. Anyone I've forgotten? Apologies if so.

@Sunshineandflipflops I think you need to be on the Beyoncé bench really, then if it all goes tits up we can hug you and share our booze and snacks. I think you're crackers about MrSAS and whilst he might not be Mr Right, he's obviously Mr Right Now. As long as you've got your eyes wide open and manage your expectations you'll be ok. And we'll hunt him down if he hurts you again...

Interesting reading about types - I have mental images of everyone on this thread and their irons!!

I seem to go for baldies, height isn't a dealbreaker as I'm a proper shortarse and everyone is taller than me. I like nice eyes, nice teeth, don't mind hairiness.

I'm very short, blonde, hourglass figure and have been told I scrub up ok. Mr Eagle is very tall (6 foot 2), clean shaven, a cyclist so has an amazing bum LOL and bald (well a little silvery fuzz at the back and sides). I thought he was attractive when we met but he didn't blow me away with his looks if you know what I mean. However now I look at him and just think phwoooaaarrrr. As someone said earlier (? @SimonJT) a person can become more attractive as you get to know them as the person shines through.

No irons in the fire for me at the moment but I'm chatting to a few on pof and put my radius at 20 miles so lots of choice.

I'm just short of 5'11, blonde and was once nice and slim but I'm struggling to get into my size 12s now sigh. My belly is hugh but I'm putting it down to menapause( probably more likely cake and packs of red doritos). Weirdly as soon as I'm dating someone I cut back and start making more of an effort

Very excited to see that Mr unavailable has been delivered so will have a good old read and learn where I'm going wrong!

Just caught up with the thread am so happy about the tortoise of mine ever went missing I'd be devastated! I've added a pic so you all can see...

So I'm 5'3 size 10-12 and am quite muscly as I'm an ex-soldier...I have long brown hair with skin that tans quite nicely and blue eyes! MrTall is 6' bob on...has the most beautiful brown eyes that you could stare into all. day. long! His skin also tans beautifully. Gah am well and truly on the Beyoncé Bench

Thank you @Sidge 😘

Well I'm 5' 9", curvy (size 14/16) with mousey highlighted short hair and green eyes. I scrub up ok when I can be bothered but am not particularly vain.

So tomorrow evening date iron has booked us into an activity first but I have no idea what. He asked if I wanted to do unconventional or normal and I said happy to try something different 😯 lord knows what this entails. Timings are now close too from my afternoon date to when I need to meet him - I'm going to be running around like a blue bummed fly!

@Sunshineandflipflops the only smokin’ I’m doing is marlboro reds. Yes, I’m confused about bench situation as well.

Really glad the tortoise is back @JeSuisPrest I saw a FB clip the other day about a couple that tie a flag to their tortoise when it's out. Made me think of Mr Cs.

Hi everyone haven't been on for a while after I got too over invested in Mr Headfuck and then finally came to my senses and told him I've had enough so feeling empty and lost now.
But I am chatting to a new iron who is the complete opposite of Mr Headfuck but he is obviously not giving me that amazing rush of adrenaline everytime I receive a message from him like the last guy! I suppose that's why they do it and why I'm now feeling so bruised!
Glad Mr Cs tortoise has reappeared though

Well, I've still heard nothing from Mr Psych since that meh reply to mine this morning. Guess he's both bothered about seeing me again then 😂

NOT bothered even

Anyone who hasn't time to catch up with Love's thread. Her appendix is out but she's still in a lot of pain and now in a shared room with people who are vomiting and Love is an emetophobe. Couldn't be much worse for her

@SimonJT whenever you post I always think Simon Justin Timberlake because of your initials 🙈😂

@JeSuisPrest Ah, I've been to yoga and have a glass of wine and Mr SAS is coming over tomorrow evening so I can't say I'm going to lose any sleep over it.

Sorry, I meant @shitwithsugaron 😂

Had some fun messages with Mr Glasses today. He's smart and I like that.

Sorry to hear about your mum bats - glad Mr BC is coming through for you
love hoping you're doing ok and wishing you a speedy recovery
I would like to claim my space on the Beyoncé bench please after 18 weeks with bf. Both still got tricky situations to sort out but are making progress on both sides towards resolving. Am having to practice grey rock technique with ex while things get sorted.

Glad it's going well Coco, if you can get through all these obstacles in the early days then it shows your relationship has strength.
Pof has been fun tonight, having some banter with a few. Mainly about football. I need to up my flirting skills though. I did ask one if he wanted to buy me a pie at a match so am trying haha

We're definitely in the honeymoon phase, apparently she's going to miss my snoring tonight 😂
And she cuddles me to stop me snoring which is much nicer than the elbows and kicks I used to get.
Think she's a keeper 🥰

So Mr NHS and I are still chatting ahead of our date...but he’s definitely interested in the sex, which is actually starting to grate a bit. Mate I don’t even know you, please stop asking me what I’m wearing dunno, he seems so cute, but I get the photo/clothing questions every night now and I’d rather talk about something else.

God re-reading my post...I sound so miserable! The filth I’m a-ok with but it’s like I’ve opened up the floodgates and it would just be nice to have a conversation that didn’t lead to attempted filth every evening. Am I being a prude?!