Dating thread 163: The best response to someone leaving the door ajar is to shut it for them

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@Sunshineandflipflops completely sounds like you are infatuated with MrSAS and no one will get a good look in whilst he is around. But also sounds like MRSAS has realised what he is missing!

Sorry to hear about your mum bats . Glad you have support. Sounds like Mr BC is a keeper!

@Sunshineandflipflops ah yes just caught up. If it were me I'd take his last message as he's pretty keen but busy at work and he'll be back to chat more and try to feel into if you'd accept a second date.

Sorry to hear about your Mum @BatshitCrazyWoman. I’d imagine that it’s very difficult figuring out how to feel and react when you’ve had a strained relationship. I’m so glad you’ve found real support in MrBC. It’s amazing the difference that makes to your life.

I do love hearing about all the giddy excitement of the relationships that are taking off. @Ant330’s your description of your evening sounds so lovely.

These threads really ebb and flow don't they? Sometimes bad things seem to happen to everyone then suddenly there's a thread and everything is positive. I'm so invested in complete strangers lovelives! I keep wondering what MrSAS, MrC, MrWow, MrPhysc, MrBE, and all the other Mr's look like!

We should have a meet up where we all wear badges!

Sorry forgot the ladies! MissHair and can't remember MrDummers?

My foray into no strings hook ups is going ok so far. There were a LOT of strange messages and dick-pics but I took the advice from here and set my boundaries and have stuck by them. I have exchanged a few messages with a really nice sounding guy who is very open about wanting what I want and has been respectful and helpful about guiding me through the new world of FAB. Am hoping to meet for a coffee (and to check he hasn't got 2 heads) this evening. I also have a coffee date for Sunday with another guy looking for FWB. Assuming one or other tickles my fancy I will actually get my leg over this year!

One minute I have no possibilities of a sex life and no desire to date at all. 3 days later and I feel a LOT more positive. I realise it isn't for everyone but it will suit me I think. Only one way to find out really!!

I’m sorry about your mum @BatshitCrazyWoman.

I shaved to v short stubble on Sunday morning, it’s the first time I have properly seen my face in about a year. Haven’t prewarned MrNoName for tomorrow, I hope he enjoys the stubble rash 😂

So sorry to hear your news @BatshitCrazyWoman xxx

Me and mr horizontal met up last night for a talk. We went on a lovely long walk talking about everything other than what we needed too 🙈. Got to the end and we sat and chatted some more. We've decided to continue with what we have been doing but I now know exactly where I stand. He is not in the right headspace for a full on relationship, he doesn't want anyone dependent on him and he is really aware of my feelings and doesn't want to hurt me. He really likes me, spending time with me and fancies me so that will do me for now!
He said FWB doesn't do what we are justice so from what I can gather we are between exclusive FWB and a relationship- really it's just a bloody relationship without the title 🙄. We are going to keep up with the communication throughout.

@shitwithsugaron @kermitrulesok I usually swipe right on very good looking lads who are probably players. Any dates with them though and I feel intimidated as they are so good looking so I come across as a lot more quieter and shy than usual 🙈. Mr horizontal is completely not my type looks wise but he's grown on me and I do find him good looking now!

Short stubble you say, @SimonJT. Maybe you can create a Velcro effect together. 😂

I do also wonder about what all the Mr and Ms-es on the thread look like. I’m super nosey that way. And, yes, attraction is so personal. Indeed, you don’t always know what you’ll be attracted to until you are really.

I like beards a LOT. I rarely swipe on a clean shaven fella.

Oh batshit I am sorry about your mum glad Mr BC is looking after you xx

Some great updates everyone!

I had a lovely night with Mr Big. He said he has closed down the apps and is not dating or interested in anyone but me. We have dates planned for the next few months. I am wary but happy today 😁

@BatshitCrazyWoman Glad you've got someone by your side at this point. Hope you recover swiftly @LoveMusic33.

@Sunshineandflipflops sounds like MrPsych is unsure like you - neither of you have mentioned a second date. Is the car park kiss not enough to suggest he'd like a second date ? Speaking for myself, I don't generally snog publically with a woman I'm unattracted to and don't want to see again ! If it's not too instrusive to ask, how'd the kiss go down ?

@shitwithsugaron A few have done profile reviews for me (for which I am very grateful) so may have an idea of what I look like half naked in front of a bathroom mirror. Unfortunately I missed your offer of help way back so you missed out on that dubious assignment but as we both live in the Midlands you can imagine every handholding couple you see is me and MsMarxAndMarzipan. Funny you should mention the vagaries of attraction because I did not expect MsM&M to say she was attracted to that bit of me at all !

That is a development @Marlboroandmalbec34. Hopefully it’ll continue and you can become less wary.

The guitar playing while getting dressed thing is so cute @shitwithsugaron. Proper squee stuff.

Ah shitwith we really have. I will see how it goes over next few days but it was such a lovely evening and we talked a lot. Fingers crossed he doesn’t blow cold again! He had already messaged me and I only left 2 hours ago so hoping he meant it and I can let my guard down and see if the “feels” I have caught are genuine! I love the sounds of your bookworm 😍

@HairyArsedMan The kiss was really nice actually...quite gentle compared to some I've experienced and it did go on a good while with some nice smiles in between. I guess I wait and see if I hear form him later but MR SAS is most definitely coming over tomorrow evening.

Re: types. I really don't have one either. I guess on the whole i tend to swipe more on slightly rugged, bearded/stubbly men with hair but Mr Psych is only slightly stubbly with no hair and I swiped on him as I found his profile really interesting and wasn't NOT attracted to him. I don't think he's that tall but he's a bit taller than me so that's ok.

I'm Midlands too!

@BatshitCrazyWoman I’m sorry to hear about your mum, it’s even harder when you can’t grieve “normally” because of a dysfunctional dynamic. I’m glad Mr BC is there for you.

I am well and truly on the smitten bench. Not only have I both cheeks firmly settled, I’ve got a feeling I might need to create a new bench for those of us that are just past smitten and well on the way to being crazy in love. Maybe I’ll call it the Beyoncé Bench?