Dating thread 163: The best response to someone leaving the door ajar is to shut it for them

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Loving all the positive updates! Mr NHS volunteered his name willingly and we’ve arranged to meet ... straight after work ...cue panic over what to wear, what makeup to take in with me, what to do if it’s hot and I’m a mess when he rocks up...and crucially what bag to take to cart all this gear home in

@FMFL I can recommend a tote bag for all your dating dilemmas!

@Sunshineandflipflops I am going to go out tomorrow and get me one of those

3am and can't sleep! So have been catching up on the thread. Glad to hear Miss Beach's light has dimmed and that unicorns do exist and exclusive FWB IS a relationship- crazy world of OLD!
MrWow and I are still together, lol. Have told him to ignore me the next time I tell him to FO. It's my hormones. Am a lot more agitated when on the progesterone patch compared to the oestrogen one where I'm full of energy and happy. HRT still all new to me!
I have a problem with MrBE though. I'm ghosting him and feel so bad. History has repeated itself - agreed to get back with him and MrWow declared his love for me. Told MrBE and he accepted it with good grace. MrWow and I split so contacted MrBE and then MrWow came back (didn't know about MrBE). Feel so bad that I can't tell him it's happened a second time!! MrMusic and I continue to be friends and MrMM, whom I'm meeting soon for a catch up. Should I tell MrWow about them? I think I'm a yoyo or just have very soft boundaries.
Its over a year since I started seeing MrWow, with 2 breaks.
Sorry for the long ramble!

MoreNice he sounds lovely. Glad your date went well Sunshine.

My mother has died, and due to my strained, distant relationship with my parents, I've been finding it all a bit difficult. Mr BC has been awesome - I'm only now, at 55, finding out what it's like to have someone who truly loves and supports me, and wants to help in anyway he can. It's made such a difference knowing he's there.

@Amber43 FWB so do as you usually do with other friends. However if he is uncomfortable respect that. I think it is nice when my friends/neighbours have a detail with me, it lightens up my day. But if it happened too often I would feel uncomfortable too.

@ElektraUnchained smoke is a deal breaker for me so I have that in my profile. However I found people understand I mean cigarettes buy weed is ok, so I have clarified that too... My profile keeps growing haha but hey, I save some time when clear deal breakers are up front.

I know, bad kisser leaves the shagging expectations very low but I don't want to write him off just yet. In the meantime my friend told me about her very nice new neighbour (with a characteristic that I am very partial to) and I have asked her to set us up on a blind date in the event that he is single. Getting a bit excited

@BatshitCrazyWoman sorry to hear about your mum but so glad you have Mr bc and have found love with him

@TooOldForThis67 great you've reunited with Mr wow. Hope it works out for you. Don't ghost mrbe. Everyone on here talks about how horrible it is to be ghosted. He sounds like a good guy. Do the right thing and just drop him a short message if nothing else. He doesn't deserve to be ghosted.

@BatshitCrazyWoman I'm sorry to hear about your mum but glad you are being cared for x

Glad you had a good night @Sunshineandflipflops

@shitwithsugaron Well he hasn't messaged me since. I'd expect a message if he was interested? But then he was interested enough to kiss me so who knows!

I just sent a short 'it was really nice to meet you last night x' message but no reply, although if he's already at work he can't have his phone on him. Still...

Give him a little time @Sunshineandflipflops

But I did have a goodnight and good morning text from Mr SAS....

Mr Psych just replied: Yes I had a lovely time with you, thank you 😊
Have an amazing day x

Not sure what to take from that!

I'd take the initiative and ask for a 2nd date, he might not want to appear pushy but it's a nice reply. Just be prepared to have to wait for an answer if he doesn't use his phone at work, might be a looooong day waiting to hear!

Batshit very sorry to hear about your mum but glad to hear MrBC is there for you.

@butterflyFed yes I am a bit like that with friends but definitely with partners, if I see something think they will like like sweets, food, I'll pick it up. I might pull back a little on this just to avoid any confusion.

Hope the blind date happens, I love things like this. The last time potentially I was due to have one, my friends hubby stepped in and said the bloke wasn't good enough.... gutted!!!

TooOld how do you think MrWow will react if you tell him? Do you think you need to?

I'm sorry about your mum bat . So pleased you have someone who has your back and supports you,Mr Bc sounds amazing.

Lovely updates by the way JeSuis Wotcher and Kermit it's great to read lots of positive dating stories.
JeSuis I'd say that's a perfectly normal reaction to MrAbs pic, just reinforces how great MrC is as well.
I'm becoming more smitten by the day, it's 1 month today. Spent the night cuddling in bed watching a film eating chocolate after I cooked dinner last night, and it felt just about perfect 🥰

Didn't realise how much it's missed these threads until I came back here! Lovely (mostly) updates over the last three pages, and I'm a little bit 😍 about @JeSuisPriest post about mum tums. Mines not because I'm a mum I'm just curvy with extra curves and I had a break of about 10 years from dating and sex during which time I put on a lot of weight (and got happier about being curvy). Last time a guy went to run his hand down to there I froze for a moment thinking "oh no, he's going to feel my belly bump and realise that I'm fat" ... but of course, he was already well aware of my body type and it just wasn't a thing for him. Had a conversation with Mr 5-in-1 about a twatty comment a male friend had made to me about want it a shame less men would find me attractive despite having everything else going for me and he said it was no different to having red hair or being tall or short, everybody has preferences and what's not for one is for another. It's the first time I've felt somebody had looked at my OLD photos and thought yes she's my type 😊 rather than she seems nice I'll date her even though she's big, or been a weird fettishist. My point is that to my surprise there are people out there who will find everybody's body type genuinely attractive in the way that eg I like nice eyes I can get lost in.

@BatshitCrazyWoman

Tell MrBE something @TooOldForThis67 even if it's a while lie about life being crazy and you realised this isn't the time.

I am terrible with names but who was seeing a guy at 8pm last night.. did his story about kid being hit by car feel true when you saw him? Do you want to see him again? I'm very skeptical about excuses to delay a date, and had initially totally written off Mr 5-in-1 when he said he had car trouble twice, but it turns out he really did have car trouble

Seeing him again tonight for date 2 (or 6). He's driving 90 minutes just to have dinner with me. I have absolutely craved seeing him again since Sunday and he me. We've been in touch almost constantly and we had a really honest and open conversation last night about how we're both a bit scared by this feeling.

I absolutely can't wait 😁 I am sleep deprived though, he kept me awake with, um, that type of texting last night andi was awake early with butterflies this morning.

@Ant330 Lovely to hear 😊

I'm not going to message Mr Psych now. If he wants to see me again he can ask me.
For once I'd quite like to be chased a little.

Mr SAS has just asked when he can see me again so he is coming over tomorrow evening, which is my only child free time now until next weekend and Mr Psych has his kids every weekend at the moment so I'm not sure when I'd see him anyway!

Lots of steamy messages exchanged with Mr TDB last night; now in the cold light of day I feel a bit embarrassed, or that it's gotten a bit too far out of hand already. Oops.

@XXVaginaAndAUterus It was me meeting someone last night. I've posted below how it went. I'd see him for a second date but he'll have to ask and he's not been forthcoming so far. I didn't look at him and think "wow, you're gorgeous" but then I'm not sure I've ever done that with anyone. Even Mr SAS, I thought he was a god looking guy when I met him and now I fancy the pants off him but that takes time for me.