Dating thread 163: The best response to someone leaving the door ajar is to shut it for them

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

ShitWith very glad to hear that!
Peanut yes I know it can be hurtful, my ex said I could be cold at times when I was stressed. So I'm trying to change, and have found talking with friends since the separation and finding out about the affair, that sharing does help even when there isn't an answer.

So glad you have things sorted @shitwithsugaron

@Marlboroandmalbec34 aah the joy of playing with fire. The thrill vs the pain and we still go back for more?

I'm so relieved shitwith (I'm too invested in other people's love lives!!).

I have 3 social media groups I use online a lot. One is with friends and associates, one is this group and another is fashion. Im just waiting for the day I post about irons in the fashion group...

morenice he sounds lovely! Pleased for you!

sunshine I j is you know lovely! Why do we put up with it...

Yes Ginmel 🔥

Awwww @Lovemusic33 I am glad you are been cared for now. Remember, you need to put your oxygen mask first before helping others. I once had to wake two toddlers up at midnight (one SN), get them in the stroller and walk to the ER (don't drive/expat-no family around/cabs don't have car seats) to get stitches. Wasn't fun but survival comes first. Take care of yourself!

@Sunshineandflipflops that is too far fetched to be made up, but I have seen worse, so you never know the extent people go to in OLD ...

@MoreNiceCereal cool! I haven't felt that instant chemistry from OLD yet but looking forward to it.

I had my second date with MrCook. We went to watch the fireworks and had a drink after. He likes to kiss me, god (he is not great at it) and wanted to arrange next date on the spot.

I think I had 7 first dates, this is the only second and willing to do third from OLD. I had awesome from IRL but he was so not for me. So how much is chemistry/awesomeness and how much real compatibility/comfort when looking for LTR?

So how much is chemistry/awesomeness and how much real compatibility/comfort when looking for LTR?

I guess, ideally, you’d have both. Certainly, you have to find some chemistry/awesomeness somewhere near the beginning (some people are ‘growers’ rather than instant wows) or you’d just want to be friends. And over time you’d need real compatibility and comfort (although, again, you can find yourself very comfy quite quickly). I do think it always takes a bit of time to work out if you’re genuinely compatible though (not least because that’s not just personality or disposition, but also takes in logistics and other pragmatic things).

It’s hard. I think it often feels like you’re looking for unicorns.

Urgh, just deleted a load of old archived OLD chats on WhatsApp and saw MrAbs had updated his profile pic to one of him and his new gf - young, blonde, pretty, just his type (like all his exes - nothing like me). Not sure why it's made me a bit sad when MrC is the best thing since sliced bread and makes me feel so much better about myself that MrAbs ever did. Makes me feel like I'm being unfaithful to MrC for even being a tiny bit bothered about it, but I hope it's a natural reaction, even though I have absolutely no desire to ever even hear from/see Mr A again. I have now deleted his number/all messages/photos. I don't know why I was putting off doing it tbh, we were only together for 4 months.

@Sunshineandflipflops I wouldn't be agreeing to a date at 6pm on the night of the date unless we'd only started chatting that day.

@butterflyFed I'm afraid the rubbish kissing would be a deal breaker for me.

@MoreNiceCereal He sounds lush!

@shitwithsugaron Yay for you and MrB - I'm dreading mine & MrC's first big barny - we're both quite stubborn people, though it takes a lot to get him riled, so I know if he loses it, it's serious. Me? I'll pick an argument in an empty room if I'm bored.

Keeping everything crossed for you @Lovemusic33, you must be beside yourself wanting to get home to the children and pup.

jesuis totally natural reaction. Defo don’t beat yourself up! Mr Abs wasn’t worthy and Me C sounds bloody delish!

@JeSuisPrest Ir hunks it's natural too. You felt something for him once so seeing his face again is going to give you that pang. It doesn't mean you care for Mr C any less.

I don't know what that said!
What I meant was, I think it's natural too, you felt something for him once....

@JeSuisPrest How's miss Beach or whatever her name is? Glad she is off the radar

Any more news @Lovemusic33

Ok, it's in with Mr Psych. We're meeting at 8 for a drink. God, I hate first dates!

@JeSuisPrest I’d imagine your reaction is less to do with any lingering feelings for MrAbs and more to do with it confirming things you’d suspected even when you were with him. Whatever it is, it seems a reasonable reaction.

Good luck @Sunshineandflipflops don't forget the loo update

Yes. Good luck. I hope it goes well.

Good luck sunshine

@Ginmel How's miss Beach or whatever her name is? Glad she is off the radar

Strangely conspicuous by her absence since we met a few weeks ago when "vibratorgate" happened. When I was at MrC's on Saturday afternoon her boyfriend turned up to get MrC to help him do some work on his car. She didn't tag along 🤷🏻‍♀️. MrC has mentioned she's messaged a few times, but she's certainly not doing it as much as she used to (when I'm there at least.)

I have him from Saturday lunch time to Monday morning this week and it can't come quickly enough - 3 months this weekend 🥰. Still owe you that 🍺 @MrDrummer...

@Sunshineandflipflops Good luck tonight, I'm sure you'll wow him 👍

Fantastic updates @JeSuisPrest

Date this afternoon a smoker and again not my type physically. Had a nice chat though. Oh well... Next!

Long time lurker here, what's the perspective on pressies for a FWB? We have been seeing each other for 6 months, crossed a few lines in that we are exclusive and regularly see each other. I buy him little pressies like chocs etc because I'm pretty solvent and he has no money at all most of the time. Am I being mad? Would that make you feel uncomfortable?

Thanks everyone. I'm all ready. Decided to wear my fave grey jeans, black top, (small) heels and leather jacket.

I'm trying to stop my mind going into overdrive with "what if we like each other, where does that leave MrSAS" and just concentrate on tonight.