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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Postpartum, Prolapse & Sex Pest DH

446 replies

Mischone · 25/06/2019 17:52

I'm 8 weeks pp with our second child. My birth was a nightmare consisting of no pain relief, a second degree perennial tear and stitches, a severe postpartum hemmorage which required a blood transfusion and I developed sepsis from invasive group A strep which frankly could have killed me. and breath!

After a fortnight in the hospital I was allowed home but still not completely well, racked with anxiety, on antidepressants and it was then that I discovered the damn prolapse. Lucky me.

Said prolapse has left me feeling like I have constant cystitis so suffice to say I have little interest in sex plus I'm still pretty traumatised by whats gone on down there, which I think is reasonable given the circumstances?

I attempted to DTD at 5 weeks PP for DH's benefit more than my own as he'd gone about a month with no sexual contact (poor man - rolls eyes) but it was awful and only confirmed my suspicions that it was far too soon and I really wasn't ready, physically or mentally. I told him how I felt and he was sympathetic.. I thought.

A couple of days surpass and he's giving me the come on again, with various proposals and offers to do things to me like he's doing me a favour, when all I'd really like is a cuddle and a bit of TLC that doesn't involve his appendage or anything else.

We've had some other limited sexual contact since then (this has been me trying to keep him happy - I can't really be arsed with it and feel horrible down below) but it's never enough, or often enough, or for long enough. He doesn't sulk per say, but let's it be known how frustrated he is.

DH has an extremely high sex drive and doesn't seem to grasp the fact I'm just not interested in his penis at the moment, his tongue or anything else. If it's relevant he's on the autistic spectrum, high functioning and unless you know him well you'd never know that, but he's known for coming across as inconsiderate which may or may not be related to the ASD.

He keeps sending me dirty texts whilst he's at work thinking I'm going to succumb to his obvious irresistibility when he gets in. He's trying it on when he's at home every day, turning a loving kiss into a grope and then looks deflated when I (tentatively) reject his advances. He tries to 'tempt' me by flashing me when he's on his way to the bathroom or getting changed, and he's even resorted to sending bloody dick pics.

Last night when I went up to bed before him he sent a stupid text asking me not to use a sex toy because he wanted me to save myself for him today. I had no intention of using a flipping vibrator last night and have no intention of having relations with him tonight. My bits feel awful which he hears about every day.

What would you recommend I do in this situation, short of LTB? Grin

Am I neglecting my husband because i should I be getting back to normal by now?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 29/06/2019 00:27

The whistle was done to test you, OP.

This man has not committed to any reining in. He is still probing to see what he can get away with. I'm aghast that he has a habit of whistling at you. That is what louts on building sites and behind the wheels of white vans do. It's the very definition of utter disrespect for women and in his case, after all he saw you go through and after all you have told him, it expresses his utter contempt for you.

You are dealing with someone who does not see you as a human being.

carla1983 · 29/06/2019 01:14

Totally agree, he has sexually objectified you to such an extent he is not seeing you as a human being.

HelenaDove · 29/06/2019 01:29

@BrigidSt Thanks

powershowerforanhour · 29/06/2019 02:00

Haven't RTFT but: to level the playing field, offer to batter his bollocks between two house bricks repeatedly for an hour, then ask how long it will be before he wants sexy fun times. And will it heal his bruised and torn nutsack and split crushed balls any faster if you stalk about the house in some tarty pants?

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 29/06/2019 02:10

Not read the full thread yet but I suspect my advice here is going to echo everyone else’s: THIS IS TOTALLY NORMAL. YOU ARE TOTALLY NORMAL. HE IS BEING RIDICULOUS.

I had two PPHs and with the first I felt okay and a couple of transfusions sorted me out but with the second I’d had a quick and painful birth with left me somewhat shaken plus the PPH, plus a hospital infection and like you me and DD2 spent a long time in hospital. My bits were actually (miraculously) fine but I felt like utter shit for a good six weeks and tired and on and off I’ll for a further few months. Totally normal: your body has been through something traumatic and your mind is catching up- never mind you’ll be tired from being unwell and you’ve got a newborn who’s not much into letting you have long periods of sleep to help you feel better. Even worse if you’re breastfeeding because that takes it out of you and (for me and all my friends that have spoken to about this) kills your sex drive stone dead.

So no, you are most certainly not being unreasonable and he needs to put his cock away and leave you alone. You say he’s on the spectrum so maybe that’s it but Jesus, read the room dude. You’re at home all day with a small baby, of course you don’t want dick pics. And the dirty texts, constant sex chat at home is putting you under pressure that you really shouldn’t be dealing with.

I think you need to sit down and have a full and frank discussion. Don’t do anything to “keep him happy” if it’s not making you happy. He will live, many men before him have. Point him in the direction of the spare room with a box of tissues for a wank. Your sex life will improve and be good again, but not at 9 weeks PP after a traumatic birth and a serious infection.

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 29/06/2019 02:13

Jesus and I see you’ve got another kid at home- who I’m guessing is a whirlwind toddler. Yeah, this makes my advice even more: tell him to get to fuck. You’ve got enough on your plate without the dick pics while you’re trying to feed a baby and settle one kid down in front of Bing for twenty minutes for some peace.

mathanxiety · 29/06/2019 05:05

WRT the housework he did, and a few other things that jumped out at me, some thoughts:

The housework is not evidence that he is your knight in shining armour. It's the basic level of courtesy that a roommate would offer when the other roommate was laid up after an operation. And please bear in mind that he benefited from cooked meals and clean laundry and a house that was not a bear pit too).

There is also the possibility of manipulation - he gets brownie points for holding the fort which he hopes will create a debt of gratitude, which will in turn result in sex for him. No wonder he has been moping. All that effort for almost nothing.

It seems to me that this housework and how he deals with the DCs is a major part of your 'But On The Other Hand' narrative. It's worth asking how much this and other gestures function as contributors to your cognitive dissonance here, keep you engaged in the relationship, and keep you trying to create a narrative or a perspective that balances the contradictory elements of his behaviour and words so that the true nature of what you are dealing with remains unexamined. This is a dance that abusers and abuse victims do. You think you have to keep at it because the music is still playing and because a part of your brain craves clarity and you believe you will eventually figure him out.

Creating cognitive dissonance is an abuse tactic that creates in the target a sense of unreality, confusion, and a mind-set of not trusting their own perception of the situation. Cognitive dissonance is the psychological discomfort you feel when you are trying to hold mutually contradictory beliefs about a situation simultaneously.

You're bringing up a lot of things that happened in the past. They are stuck in your memory because your rational brain couldn't make sense of them.

Your H told you yesterday or the day before that he was looking up your recent medical event, which you chose to see as evidence of concern and of beginning to take your 'No' seriously.

I have posted (and so have others) to the effect that this tactic of his was actually the opposite - he was telling you that your No isn't enough for him, that you don't get the last word when it comes to your own body and that basically he will decide, not you, if he is going to 'have sex' with you.

Can you see how you are very consistently falling for his stated intention of his acts, words and behaviour or even developing all by yourself a benign or optimistic interpretation of his words and actions? That is you trying to silence the little voice deep inside that is saying "BUT...!"

Telling you he is looking up your medical situation is an example of gaslighting. BrigidSt is completely right - there is a huge amount of healing necessary for you on many fronts, and he is actively working against your chance of healing here in body, mind, and spirit. Meanwhile he is delivering a massive insult to you, a huge problem demanding head space, essentially telling you that you are nothing, that your word about your body is worthless, and that you will have birth injuries only if he decides from his reading up on Wikipedia that you have birth injuries.

The same day or the day after he told you he was looking up your medical situation you were confronted by a whistle from him and further comments on your beauty, on top of those he offered before. That whistle and the comment that he tried to excuse it with show that he isn't actually interested in your medical catastrophe or your recovery - in fact the opposite, he is completely denying all of it despite your constant reminders to him since you got home from the hospital and despite him seeing it all unfold with his own eyes at the time.

The origin of the 'beautiful' approach is to slyly suggest, 'You are as attractive as the back end of a bus right now and you are lucky I am interested in you.' Somewhere deep down you fear this may be true or you would not be concerned about him betraying you and the family you have been creating, and importantly, he has learned or he is making a calculated guess that this is a vulnerable spot for you.

It's also another slap in the face for you because it essentially denies that you have serious birth injuries and trauma and implies very crudely that your refusal to have sex is all about how you feel about the state of your vagina and perineum, and nothing to do with pain, your stinging urethra, or the fact that your internal organs are bearing down heavily on your vagina. This is causing massive anxiety because you feel you are neither seen nor heard by him and you sense you are dealing with someone completely irrational, someone you have tried to explain the same very clear and very obvious thing to for six weeks now but who refuses to give any sign of listening or understanding. You posted that you are incredulous that he is behaving so badly despite being present at the hospital while you went through all that you suffered.

The 'beautiful' remarks and the looking up the conditions and the six weeks of LaLaLa Not Listening Phwoar Missus that you have suffered are all examples of serious emotional and psychological abuse (on top of the very clear sexual abuse).

I suggest to you that for this man, your individuality and your personhood are irrelevant.

I would also suggest that everything he does outside of sex is a performance designed to induce cognitive dissonance, to baffle and confuse you and get him what he wants.

Some men dominate by giving their wives or girlfriends the odd black eye or by making them beg for money to feed the children. I suspect (given what you say about the dirty talk that turns you off but that he persists in doing regardless, the daily whistling, the public groping incident, and above all the abuse he has put you through since you came home from hospital) that for him sex is how he experiences domination, power and control over you, which is why he is so obsessed with it and why he is trying so hard to break your spirit and make you give in.

Mischone · 29/06/2019 09:38

To the ladies who have posted about their abuse I think you're very brave and I appreciate you sharing what you have Flowers

I've just sat and read every reply that I've received since I checked in yesterday, so once again thank you for caring and offering your takes on the situation.

Reading everything I have here has brought back something to my memory which confirms alot of what some posters are saying IRT how he sees sex.

A good while ago we went on a rare night out which ended up being a disaster. We were both merry and stood in the out side area of a club when a younger, equally pissed woman grabbed hold of his hand out of the blue in a suggestive way. I don't think she knew he was with me as I was chatting to an acquaintance to the other side of me at the time.

I noticed what had happened and took it upon myself to ask the woman what she was playing at whilst he stood there gormless totally mute.

I ended up in an argument with the woman and her friend took her out of the situation and apologised on her behalf.

Whilst all this was going on he didn't say a word I suspect because it did something for his ego to have all this going on about him.

An argument ensued between me and him because I felt he was being extremely disrespectful not addressing the problem and pointing out he was out with his wife. His reply was that he didn't have chance to say anything because I was straight on it and telling her to sod off myself.

Shortly after I caught the attention of some daft bloke who came over to chat me up who I promptly dismissed and moved away from (unlike DH may I add) but this then put DH in a mood too.

The atmosphere between us was frosty and I was still fuming about how he handled the woman situation so we decided to call it a night and head home where we ended up having sex, I initiated it because I was drunk and in the mood.

He was clearly still in a mood himself because what followed was quite unpleasant sex where he was rougher than usual, the dirty talk was more demeaning than the usual cringe things he'd come out with and I remember afterwards, still pissed, asking where the lovely (insert name) had gone.

All I remember him responding with was something similar to "well you've been verbally abusing me for the past two hours"

Now I'm not verbally abusive in the sense of calling him names or being cruel, but I was absolutely livid and likely told him to fuck off a good few times and may or may not have said I'm going to LTB.

I think upon reflection it demonstrates a clear and blatant level of disrespect doesn't it.

To add it's unheard of for us to have nights out like this because of the children, I was fortunate my DM was visiting when DC1 was 6 months old and thought it would be nice to let my hair down for the first time in years.

It all sounds a bit infantile doesn't it but I thought I'd explain in full what lead up to the sex which stuck which I remember as being degrading.

A one off it was, but not at all pleasant and I remember being surprised that my sweet husband had that sort of side to him where sex was concerned.

OP posts:
Mischone · 29/06/2019 09:41

I'm younger than him by the way, by ten years if that's relevant.

OP posts:
Bellasblankexpression · 29/06/2019 09:45

Jesus Christ, I’m nearly four months pregnant and have felt so sick and tired and dizzy that sex has been the last thing on my mind. DH hasn’t said a word but has instead been concerned about me and showered me with cuddles and affection as he knows I’m not
Feeling good about myself. You poor thing, I wouldn’t be able to cope with this.

RantyAnty · 29/06/2019 09:50

Something that is seldom mentioned, is that sex drives can be abnormal. I wish there was more knowledge and discussion about this.

A trip to the GP and a counsellor while you are recovering, might be helpful with his hypersexuality.

• Medication can significantly reduce hypersexuality; patients may wish to seek psychological treatment while taking medication to unravel problems potentially underpinning the hypersexuality

• Medication does not have to be ‘forever’; constant monitoring of patients (including side-effects of medication) is important so that patients can reduce or stop medication as appropriate

• Patients taking medication to reduce hypersexuality report lower sexual arousal, greater emotional control and greater ‘headspace’ all contributing to a better quality of life

Quartz2208 · 29/06/2019 10:48

OP did you post about being ill and your mother staying under a different username because if so there were other things as well

The older doesn’t surprise me either. Math anxiety is right it’s a power thing and your example demonstrates that

I would be surprised if there are not other subtle forms of control going on as well

Mischone · 29/06/2019 10:56

No previous posts about DH in this way no, I'm a regular MNer on the relationships and chat boards but don't want this topic linked back to my usual posting hence NC.

I've long wondered about hypersexuality and have spoken to him about this on a few occasions now, he's never admitted to having a problem but then I suppose he wouldn't because he would perceive that as acknowledging fault in his behaviour

OP posts:
carla1983 · 29/06/2019 13:29

@Mischone - My ex would also occasionally be degrading during sex, it is still something that I think about at times and it may sound weird but it still hurts a bit.

He was just a disrespectful man though. Once he said to me "you're just an old w**k rag aren't you" as he performed a sex act. I was disgusted by how degrading this was and I told him he went too far. He couldn't see where the line was between sexy talk and totally cringeworthy, actually quite disrespectful stuff. The root reason for that was because he was just disrespectful towards women. The end result was I stopped feeling safe around him sexually.

Sorry hope this isn't TMI. Your thread has struck a chord with me in some ways when I think back to my ex.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 29/06/2019 16:05

How vile, carla1983. I'm so sorry this happened to you, you poor thing. That sort of talk would make my fanny scrunch up like a cat's bum.

SwordofGryffindor · 29/06/2019 17:40

From a medical pov he sounds like a narcissist and a sex addict

prettywhiteguitar · 29/06/2019 17:52

Christ after your last post I would really wonder about how he looks at you after you have been pregnant. As you say that incident was when your 1st dc was 6months old. It’s a red flag that he’s talking to you like that when having sex, clearly taking it out on you.

I really would be having second thoughts and maybe have counselling on your own to work out if this relationship really is in your best interests. Don’t do it jointly as it’s not recommended for abusive relationships.

findingmyfeet12 · 29/06/2019 17:58

I haven't rtft but he sounds awful.

I can't even comprehend being in a relationship with someone who behaved like that. It's not very helpful but I'd have left him by now.

It is unacceptable.

HelenaDove · 29/06/2019 19:35

OP your post at 9.38 this morning shows him to be a hypocrite as well as a misogynist and abuser

mathanxiety · 29/06/2019 21:51

It's blatant disrespect, yes.
It's also narcissism and very dangerous.

He very quickly cast himself as the victim of the night out incident.
After quite a heated argument you initiated sex (you need to examine your reasons for this btw) he performed (for want of a better verb here) rougher sex than you were used to, apparently without any sort of discussion or indication from you that this was something you were up for.

Can you confirm that (insert name) here refers to your H's name?
He was clearly still in a mood himself because what followed was quite unpleasant sex where he was rougher than usual, the dirty talk was more demeaning than the usual cringe things he'd come out with and I remember afterwards, still pissed, asking where the lovely (insert name) had gone.

All I remember him responding with was something similar to "well you've been verbally abusing me for the past two hours"

Because if so, his response reveals that he knew exactly how unpleasant your experience of sex had been, and he knew that he was punishing you with the roughness and coarse talk.

He took his revenge on you for speaking up for yourself by means of sex. It was sex as a proxy for violence. This is not ASD behaviour.

He is using sex as a means of dominating you. Sex is a way for him to humiliate you and to express his contempt for you. It's a power trip.

I was going to ask if there is a significant age difference but you confirmed that suspicion ahead of my post.

Is sex normally rough?
If so is this something you have consented to?
I ask because you say the sex that night was rougher than usual, the dirty talk was more demeaning so I wondered if rough sex was the norm for you, and given you are repulsed by the dirty talk and consider it demeaning but he does it anyway, I wondered if any part of your sexual relationship, for instance rough sex, is your preference or if he just does what he wants.

OP, what sort of counseling did you do after your previous abusive relationship?

carla1983 · 29/06/2019 22:28

I think you need to talk this through with someone in real life, such as a counsellor.

I'm trying not to project too much OP but there are many parallels & similarities between how my abusive, disrespectful ex behaved sexually and how yours is behaving. It's clear your partner sees you primarily as a sex object. Even when asked to stop viewing you that way & make advances towards you, he's still whistling at you. You're not in a sexy mood, you don't want to be perved on, he's refusing to stop.

He's not respecting your boundary and that's concerning, on top of everything else.

carla1983 · 29/06/2019 22:30

@Prawnofthepatriarchy

That sort of talk would make my fanny scrunch up like a cat's bum

It did that!

greengrower · 29/06/2019 23:38

Oh god OP I had this stuff with my first husband. I now know and recognise what an abusive, rapist, violent, coercive bully he was. It's taken nearly 40 years to unpick and work it all out, coupled with a lovely DH of 30 years

MySqueeHasBeenSeverelyHarshed · 01/07/2019 02:41

I'm sorry to be popping onto this thread so late, but this has been playing on my mind since I read about your situation and I don't know if it's occurred to anyone else as a factor. I'm putting in a content warning as it's pretty grim, so don't read if you have a sensitive disposition.

There's been a somewhat recent trend in internet porn for induced rectal prolapse, there's a small amount of porn performers who have managed to do it on cue and specialize in it, it's absolutely horrible to watch but of course the performers are acting like it's all good fun because they won't get paid otherwise (and are probably off their faces on drugs like everyone else in gonzo porn).

If OP's partner watches a lot of porn, and it sounds to me like he does given the sex pest, demeaning talk and overly rough sex is all garden variety in porn, and if he has ASD and an overly literal mindset it contributes to him thinking that it's normal to treat your partner this way.

So my thinking is, he's seen prolapse porn and thinks a prolapse is not nearly as serious as you're making it out to be because porn performers do it 'for fun.'

If this is the case, then I'd insist on a complete porn detox before you even consider sleeping with him again.

HopeIsNotAStrategy · 01/07/2019 04:07

I'm so sorry OP, he's horrible. 🙁