WRT the housework he did, and a few other things that jumped out at me, some thoughts:
The housework is not evidence that he is your knight in shining armour. It's the basic level of courtesy that a roommate would offer when the other roommate was laid up after an operation. And please bear in mind that he benefited from cooked meals and clean laundry and a house that was not a bear pit too).
There is also the possibility of manipulation - he gets brownie points for holding the fort which he hopes will create a debt of gratitude, which will in turn result in sex for him. No wonder he has been moping. All that effort for almost nothing.
It seems to me that this housework and how he deals with the DCs is a major part of your 'But On The Other Hand' narrative. It's worth asking how much this and other gestures function as contributors to your cognitive dissonance here, keep you engaged in the relationship, and keep you trying to create a narrative or a perspective that balances the contradictory elements of his behaviour and words so that the true nature of what you are dealing with remains unexamined. This is a dance that abusers and abuse victims do. You think you have to keep at it because the music is still playing and because a part of your brain craves clarity and you believe you will eventually figure him out.
Creating cognitive dissonance is an abuse tactic that creates in the target a sense of unreality, confusion, and a mind-set of not trusting their own perception of the situation. Cognitive dissonance is the psychological discomfort you feel when you are trying to hold mutually contradictory beliefs about a situation simultaneously.
You're bringing up a lot of things that happened in the past. They are stuck in your memory because your rational brain couldn't make sense of them.
Your H told you yesterday or the day before that he was looking up your recent medical event, which you chose to see as evidence of concern and of beginning to take your 'No' seriously.
I have posted (and so have others) to the effect that this tactic of his was actually the opposite - he was telling you that your No isn't enough for him, that you don't get the last word when it comes to your own body and that basically he will decide, not you, if he is going to 'have sex' with you.
Can you see how you are very consistently falling for his stated intention of his acts, words and behaviour or even developing all by yourself a benign or optimistic interpretation of his words and actions? That is you trying to silence the little voice deep inside that is saying "BUT...!"
Telling you he is looking up your medical situation is an example of gaslighting. BrigidSt is completely right - there is a huge amount of healing necessary for you on many fronts, and he is actively working against your chance of healing here in body, mind, and spirit. Meanwhile he is delivering a massive insult to you, a huge problem demanding head space, essentially telling you that you are nothing, that your word about your body is worthless, and that you will have birth injuries only if he decides from his reading up on Wikipedia that you have birth injuries.
The same day or the day after he told you he was looking up your medical situation you were confronted by a whistle from him and further comments on your beauty, on top of those he offered before. That whistle and the comment that he tried to excuse it with show that he isn't actually interested in your medical catastrophe or your recovery - in fact the opposite, he is completely denying all of it despite your constant reminders to him since you got home from the hospital and despite him seeing it all unfold with his own eyes at the time.
The origin of the 'beautiful' approach is to slyly suggest, 'You are as attractive as the back end of a bus right now and you are lucky I am interested in you.' Somewhere deep down you fear this may be true or you would not be concerned about him betraying you and the family you have been creating, and importantly, he has learned or he is making a calculated guess that this is a vulnerable spot for you.
It's also another slap in the face for you because it essentially denies that you have serious birth injuries and trauma and implies very crudely that your refusal to have sex is all about how you feel about the state of your vagina and perineum, and nothing to do with pain, your stinging urethra, or the fact that your internal organs are bearing down heavily on your vagina. This is causing massive anxiety because you feel you are neither seen nor heard by him and you sense you are dealing with someone completely irrational, someone you have tried to explain the same very clear and very obvious thing to for six weeks now but who refuses to give any sign of listening or understanding. You posted that you are incredulous that he is behaving so badly despite being present at the hospital while you went through all that you suffered.
The 'beautiful' remarks and the looking up the conditions and the six weeks of LaLaLa Not Listening Phwoar Missus that you have suffered are all examples of serious emotional and psychological abuse (on top of the very clear sexual abuse).
I suggest to you that for this man, your individuality and your personhood are irrelevant.
I would also suggest that everything he does outside of sex is a performance designed to induce cognitive dissonance, to baffle and confuse you and get him what he wants.
Some men dominate by giving their wives or girlfriends the odd black eye or by making them beg for money to feed the children. I suspect (given what you say about the dirty talk that turns you off but that he persists in doing regardless, the daily whistling, the public groping incident, and above all the abuse he has put you through since you came home from hospital) that for him sex is how he experiences domination, power and control over you, which is why he is so obsessed with it and why he is trying so hard to break your spirit and make you give in.