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Postpartum, Prolapse & Sex Pest DH

1 reply

Mischone · 25/06/2019 17:52

I'm 8 weeks pp with our second child. My birth was a nightmare consisting of no pain relief, a second degree perennial tear and stitches, a severe postpartum hemmorage which required a blood transfusion and I developed sepsis from invasive group A strep which frankly could have killed me. and breath!

After a fortnight in the hospital I was allowed home but still not completely well, racked with anxiety, on antidepressants and it was then that I discovered the damn prolapse. Lucky me.

Said prolapse has left me feeling like I have constant cystitis so suffice to say I have little interest in sex plus I'm still pretty traumatised by whats gone on down there, which I think is reasonable given the circumstances?

I attempted to DTD at 5 weeks PP for DH's benefit more than my own as he'd gone about a month with no sexual contact (poor man - rolls eyes) but it was awful and only confirmed my suspicions that it was far too soon and I really wasn't ready, physically or mentally. I told him how I felt and he was sympathetic.. I thought.

A couple of days surpass and he's giving me the come on again, with various proposals and offers to do things to me like he's doing me a favour, when all I'd really like is a cuddle and a bit of TLC that doesn't involve his appendage or anything else.

We've had some other limited sexual contact since then (this has been me trying to keep him happy - I can't really be arsed with it and feel horrible down below) but it's never enough, or often enough, or for long enough. He doesn't sulk per say, but let's it be known how frustrated he is.

DH has an extremely high sex drive and doesn't seem to grasp the fact I'm just not interested in his penis at the moment, his tongue or anything else. If it's relevant he's on the autistic spectrum, high functioning and unless you know him well you'd never know that, but he's known for coming across as inconsiderate which may or may not be related to the ASD.

He keeps sending me dirty texts whilst he's at work thinking I'm going to succumb to his obvious irresistibility when he gets in. He's trying it on when he's at home every day, turning a loving kiss into a grope and then looks deflated when I (tentatively) reject his advances. He tries to 'tempt' me by flashing me when he's on his way to the bathroom or getting changed, and he's even resorted to sending bloody dick pics.

Last night when I went up to bed before him he sent a stupid text asking me not to use a sex toy because he wanted me to save myself for him today. I had no intention of using a flipping vibrator last night and have no intention of having relations with him tonight. My bits feel awful which he hears about every day.

What would you recommend I do in this situation, short of LTB? Grin

Am I neglecting my husband because i should I be getting back to normal by now?

JoMumsnet · 28/06/2019 14:54

Just letting you know that we've deleted multiple posts by a previously banned poster, clearly intent on being deliberately inflammatory.

Thanks for all the reports. Hopefully we can get the thread back on track for the OP.

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