"Hilarious" things narcissists have said

[EvilHerbivore]

It's 5 years today since I last spoke to my mother and just sat thinking about the reasons why and how they'd almost be funny if they weren't so sad

For example, when I told my mother I was pregnant with DS1 her response was 'why didn't you ask me?' - just for background I didn't live with her or expect her to do any childcare or pay for anything, had no real impact on her life whatsoever, she just couldn't believe I hadn't asked her permission first

I could probably do a whole thread of these on my own but anyone else got any corkers?

Much less hurtful than most of these.
Someone I worked with said 'Even I have been known to be wrong occasionally'.
She was deadly serious.

Another snippet when DM sister was diagnosed with cancer, I knew because I had sneakily kept in touch with her when DM had sent her to coventry. DM was being absolutely impossible, I blurted out the news to shut her up , the response was well she is always making things up to get attention. My DM was green with jealousy that her sister was getting attention she wasn`t.

Oh thats shocking them smacking their children, someone should report them.

REALLY! What about all the times to smacked us black and bluemusing your full fucking strength! Delusional

My DM used to use me as a cover story to her husband (not my father - she married five times when I was between 8-18) so that she could go and shag her latest squeeze whilst pretending she'd come to visit me.

And when I I came clean to her about abuse from husband number 2, she refused to believe me stating I was making it up for attention, stayed with him for 2 more years and told me to 'just stay out of his way'

Sorry! I appear to be purging!!!

From my ex MIL on fixing out her first grandchild has a serious medical condition-

"Well it doesn't come from our line.. "
"Please don't tell anyone, it's bad enough being a grandmother let alone to a disabled child!"
"Of course I won't be able to change my home so you're probably best not coming over anymore..."

Needless to say we went NC although now he's an ex he sees her regularly and she's granny of the year, eve to our pesky disabled child.

My business name had my surname in as well as the job I do. My dad got the hump as I was using his surname and people may think he had given it his approval. His business an hour away (completely different field) had his first and surname in big gold letters 1ft tall emblazoned above the windows.

My ex would have our DD for an afternoon most weekends and on very rare occasions she would have a sleepover. Not for the benefit of my social life ( I had younger DC so would need a babysitter anyway) but just so she could , you know, actually spend time with her father.

When she was about 10 he got together with a woman who had a similar age daughter which curtailed his up til then unhindered social life. He got very angry with me that I would not look after his girlfriend's daughter and have her for sleepovers because I wasn't 'taking my turn'! He just couldn't see that spending time with his own daughter wasn't 'doing me a favour'.

Not me but my lovely friend, on disclosing childhood SA to her DF: "How do you think I feel about all this? Can you even imagine?"

Not sure if he was a narc or just a knob

@NorthernSpirit I also feel tremendous relief being away from my mother and sister. Everything was all about them - when they weren’t bitching and gossiping about me.

Another one from my mother. I was 15 and had a starring role in a school play for a qualification in drama. It went really well, but the first thing my mother said to me was that the lady sitting next to her in the audience said that I really overacted and was a show off!

The most outrageous is that she always fancied my first (ex) husband. He was convicted of beating me up after years of abuse. My mother told him afterwards that he was always welcome to visit and then every time I spoke to her on the phone she asked me if I had seen him and how he was! She only stopped when she asked me if I was going to his big birthday party and I replied ‘Why would I want to go the birthday party of someone who beat me up and put me in hospital?’

It really only hit me how bad it was when I had a child and compared how I treat my son to how she treated me.

My Dad died at a fairly young age (53) my mum was 51 . She never met anyone else and remained single the rest of her life. ( She died aged 79)
My mil left her husband (dh father) as she was having an affair. They married and was married for 20+ years before he died at 80.
Mil went into woe is me, life isn't worth living I'm going to kill myself.
After around 6 months or so she was still saying very lonely. On sympathising with her mentioned my mum and how she copes, to be told its better to lose your husband when your still young because you get over it quicker !

On the day of my father funeral, MIL who I have not seen since my father died, walks into the house and instead of offering condolences decides that its an appropriate time to comment on what I am wearing: 'thats a nice dress lysie, I shouldn't say this...but I had a pair of curtains like that in the 70s!'

My mother has narc moments though she is often quite kind and supportive. I think I am attracted to narc, critical men in part due to this.

I misspelled a word in a spelling bee when I was about 10 years old. I was very nervous and was crushed when I spelled it wrong. My mother's reaction was to hiss at me angrily that I had gone up and whined at the microphone and embarrassed her.

When I told my mother that I was going to get an advanced degree, her immediate response was to tell me she wasn't going to pay for it. (I definitely did not ask and had no delusion that this would be happening).

Just thought I'd another - not mil but ex dh. I discovered a lump in my breast, had it all checked out, but thankfully it was a cyst and had surgery to remove. Fast forward a few years and we were splitting up. He painting himself as a perfect husband, said to me ' I was even willing to stay with you if it had turned out to be cancer '
Well thanks for that !

I'm so sorry to read of all of these awful people! Love to all who have had to go through the nonsense. I too could write a book on my ex. Some that come immediately to mind are: the day after my lovely granda died, ex went crazy because I was going to spend time with my family and not him, and this would 'make (him) look like a dick to other people'. He thought a woman at his work got the same car as him (an extremely common car at the time) to 'annoy' him (this makes no sense to me either😂). I got a huge promotion at work which took me away from the office we both worked in, and he didn't say congratulations, only asked if I had considered how it would make him look to others that I'd be going to work elsewhere. He was also abusive so I eventually had him charged with assaults, so thankfully never see him now. It was a draining af time for me, and reading some stories here, I wonder how some of you coped! Hats off to you

After being emotionally abused since literally as long as I can remember, and some physical abuse in later years, I left and went NC with my mother when I was 16. When I was 30, and about to give birth to my first DD, she saw/snooped a letter I’d sent my younger DB. She thought this was the appropriate time to write to me to offer me an ‘olive branch’ and I was ‘allowed’ to get back in touch. Deluded cunt.

@toska came on here to share that my sister is also a vicar and a massive narc. Not saying they're necessarily related but she does seem to enjoy being able to demand that she be treated like God (or the next best thing) and having people hanging off her every word when she gives sermons.

I've just come to the very sad realisation that my mum fits in with these other mums very well 😞 most of these are just the type of things she has or would say to me

SunshineCake sorry if that came across badly. Definitely didn't mind was just surprised my post stood out for anyone amongst all the really shitty things that have happened to PPs. I have posted a couple threads. I know what needs to happen, just trying to deal with the emotional fallout first and rest and get a bit stronger. I'm really sick, my bodies a breath away from collapsing completely and my illness is effected a lot by stress. As bad as things are I'm too sick to cope with separation right now. If he has another angry outburst I'll do it then, right now we're in the trying to be nice bit because he knows he went too far, so I'm just going grey rock and trying to get my horrible pain under control. I don't have the options healthy people do, I can't afford to get any sicker, I have little DC to care for.

@Judashascomeintosomemoney sorry but I did a proper laugh/snort at 'deluded cunt' 😂

Judashascomeintosomemoney

FIL said similar. After being asked to leave us alone he waited a couple of weeks, said he had “played our game” and now we were to contact him... or he’d call the police!

We actually had to contact the police to tell them if he reported us that he was time wasting because we had told him to leave us alone.

When, at the age of 23, I told my DM I was applying for a PhD at a prestigious university in the US which would take 5 years, she said "you'll be infertile by the time you finish".

Reading a lot of these comments has made me realise I have a few people like this in my life - definitely not as bad as some though!

My 'D'H - my grandad was terminally ill and in hospital, I was visiting him everyday and DH had not asked me once how he was or how I was. One day he was furious and exploded at me, as well hadn't had sex in a week (why would I want to??), so I tell him I was upset that he hasn't asked me anything for the 3 weeks grandad was poorly, or even given me one hug and he said 'wtf but what about me?? Maybe I want a hug?? Its all about you'... Theres actually so so many other incidents but this was the most recent.

I now also realise how narc my grandmother is... similarly most recent, she was so upset grandad was on his death bed and he was getting visitors and attention from the doctors that she feigned a stroke to get admitted into hospital for the week for 'a rest' and tried to ban visitors from the house. She told me it was me visiting her house to see grandad had made her ill as it was all too much! She invited me for that visit :-/

PIL yelled in our faces in front of our children for an hour.

When we distanced ourselves the weeks following and explained why, FIL said it was unfair and cruel of us to do so because we didn't tell him we had a problem with being yelled at at the time.

We asked for an apology, and he refused because we hadn't asked for an apology earlier.

It must be nice to go through the world doing whatever you want and never feeling you are at fault ever....