"Hilarious" things narcissists have said

[EvilHerbivore]

It's 5 years today since I last spoke to my mother and just sat thinking about the reasons why and how they'd almost be funny if they weren't so sad

For example, when I told my mother I was pregnant with DS1 her response was 'why didn't you ask me?' - just for background I didn't live with her or expect her to do any childcare or pay for anything, had no real impact on her life whatsoever, she just couldn't believe I hadn't asked her permission first

I could probably do a whole thread of these on my own but anyone else got any corkers?

@Messyhairday I am confused by yours. I get your MIL is making a dig.

She can’t give any explanation as to why she refused and refuses to call dd by the name I chose
choose your own special name for her and refuse to call her anything else
see how she likes them apples :o

@DarkestBeforeTheDawn4 you don't have to justify yourself to me. I wish you health, strength and happiness and if you need a friend, I am willing . Take care.

Oh, I've got another one. DM and DF were staying at our flat, the night before we got married, with me. DH was off at a motel with his parents. At 6am, Mum came and got me up - to get her and DF breakfast in bed!

She then hated what the hairdresser had done with her hair, and my hairdresser ended up having to hand me over to someone else, to sort out her hair to her satisfaction. . .

Meanwhile, my sister required me to take her dress for my wedding to the drycleaners, and then collect it. You can imagine just how impressed I was with that. Especially since it was white, and ankle-length. . .

Narc FIL at his sister's funeral service gave a 10 minute eulogy in which he only talked about himself and all his "achievements", didn't mention his sister or her passing once. You wouldn't have known it was a funeral

Another one. An interrogation from ‘DM’ on why the curtains were closed in my room when playing with the girl from next door. She was convinced we’d been having sex in there. It was the 1970s so much more innocent then, and I was EIGHT!!! I didn’t even really know what sex was or what she was talking about. She always was obsessed with men and sex though so she was transferring her mentality into me. 🤮

Reading this thread has brought lots back I remember when I was having a stressful time and was telling my dm & dad about it . I wasn't going on just telling them my news my dad had a face on him at the time so I kept it brief. He messaged me later to say my mum had cried when I left . I felt bad at the time but afterwards when I thought about it I thought she didn't seam upset just sympathetic and I just explained briefly about the building troubles we were having etc no one died . It was that sort of crap he would manipulate people god knows why .
The answer to someone who said is it getting worse no it's just people don't need to put up with it anymore. My Gran was much worse but my dad and his family let her get away with it different times I suppose no one should necessarily stand up to parents years ago .

Yeah.. that last post reminded me of when I was a kid I called childline (in those days it was all over little girls magazines) because even at the age of 8 or so I suffered crippling anxiety and shyness, and was embarrassed about it. somehow Mum found out I called them - and instead of talking to me she straight away confronted my dad and accused him of sexually abusing me (absolutely no grounds whatsoever, and he was always working away so it was ridiculously unlikely regardless)
I then massively internalised the anxiety (particularly as I felt partly responsible for my parents breaking up a year or so later) and have actually only sought professional help for it this year, over 20 years later..

Wow this is cathartic!

Well, this one's from a suspected Borderline, but they're all cluster B charmers.

The day after she assaulted me, I ended up at hospital, and she would have been arrested but for my refusal to support a prosecution....

"So, how are you going to change so that I don't find myself in this situation again?"

Um...I don't know. Do a better job of dodging the laptop when you smack me with it....?

My Gran was much worse but my dad and his family let her get away with it different times I suppose no one should necessarily stand up to parents years ago .

Plus when people die some families turn them into saints so the younger generations never know how abusive they were. If they were...

MIL refused to let SIL emigrate. Said she would disown her if she did. Yet MIL emigrated when she was the same age as SIL. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sorry it should of said no one did say anything not should .
My Gran stopped my aunt getting married apparently she never married. She never says anything bad about her nor does my dad very odd . I think my dad has just copied how my Gran behaved .

When ex and I were moving countries and had actually arrived in the new city, but completion was delayed and our purchase possibly about to fall through -- we and the two cats were staying in a Days Inn and frantically researching alternatives in case we had to start again (thankfully the sale went through in the end!). I expressed something of this to DM, who said tartly, "Well, you'll just have to let it all be [exH]'s problem!" and refused to hear anything further about it. Translation: your stress causes me stress, and I must protect myself from it, so piss off.

My sister, aka The Bitch. Many years older than me, so was little growing up that she hadn't done before me. She reckons she's entitled to trump me on everything.

Mum and I planned on going to a very child-centred place when I was 8. Bitch invited, didn't want to come, went inter-railing with friends. At the last minute she changed their plans to go to said place, simply so that she could tell me she'd been and how wonderful it was. My mother was fuming as I'd been so excited and hearing all about from her took the shine off.

Things like this continued, to the extent that when I booked to go to America at 20 I only told my mother the destination 2 weeks before, and even then begged her not to tell the Bitch as I knew that, if she could, she'd be on a plane over there.

It's not just places, she's also tried to study the very niche subject I did for my degree, and do a further qualification the same as mine. She's also highly qualified, but she can't stand me having something she doesn't.

She threw two tantrums at my first graduation, 1) because she wasn't in the centre of the family photograph (I didn't want her in it at all) and 2) because she hadn't chosen the restaurant we ate in afterwards. I lied and told her I could only get one ticket for the second grad, there was no way I was going through that again!

Another one from my insane father. This was a decade ago and it still hurts as though it had been yesterday:

[Him inviting my sister and myself to a BBQ party at his place - wife #2 (unceremoniously discarded shortly thereafter) and her son were there].

Him: "Well, this finally feels like completion, having my biological and my spiritual family all in one place at one time".

Fuck you, though, dad! You fathered the two of us, behaved like an utter cunt until our mother, who loved you, took us and walked out on you for our sake, refused to pay child support and have done zilch for us since then. You made us happen. You've spent our entire lives pontificating to us about just how much more spirituality meant than mere biological existence. You've literally just told us to our faces (assuming one understands your language - and you've made damn sure we were trained well) that you care more about the male offspring of some woman you married and dumped and random bloke you've never met than about the two daughters you fathered and whose faces resemble yours so much that nobody would question it? Seriously? Seriously?

AFAIK, his will still leaves everything to wife #2's son (whom he probably hasn't seen since she, sensibly, took her child and ran for the hills). AFAIK, my sister and I are still disinherited for the crime of having been born to a mother who gave him daughters, not sons.

DH’s Sister lies to her mother, my MIL, about tickets so she doesn’t get to go to school events. She says only parents are allowed to go but she invites her H’s parents.

When the children were small she could get away with this, when they got older SIL divorced and she no longer invited the ILs, so she got away with it.

But then she remarried and had more children. It was all happy families with the new ILs so it was the same drill again, they went to the school stuff to see their grandchildren, MIL wasn’t told.

This time when the children got older they mentioned that their “other granny” had been to school and MIL was furious. SIL blamed her MIL saying she must know someone at the school and got spare tickets somehow and she knew nothing about it! DH’s cousin was egging MIL on to ring the school and get her own “spare tickets” for future events! They are all as bad as each other!

Of course eventually MIL and SIL’s MIL met at a party or something and it all came out. SIL’s MIL took great delight in telling MIL (who had snubbed her at SIL’s wedding apparently) that SIL had given her tickets to every event all along.

We heard all this from DH’s aunt (we live far away) who said that the slanging match could be heard in the street.

My Mum died 3 days before Christmas. After a family Christmas Day where I had participated enthusiastically, cared for my baby and hidden my feelings at 7 I went to a quiet room in the house to have a little cry because I missed my lovely mum. My aunt followed me and told me I should pull myself together and think other because it was much worse as her sister for my mum to die as she had known her longer.

Apologies to all, having read more it seems I did pretty well. Lovely Dad for 24 years, lovely Mum for 32. Only now am I left with a twat of an aunt. Many of you have suffered with shit parents for your whole lives. I bow to your patience and insight in recognising and rising above.

fridaleavethetweezers Don’t apologise. My heart went out to you when I read yours, it’s as bad as the others. They particularly enjoy hurting the already wounded.

'D'B told me, on more than one occasion, that he is in the top 1% of intelligent people in the world. With a straight face no less and he believes every single word. He kindly told me that I was too thick... .

fridaleavethetweezers, there’s absolutely no need to apologise. Your aunt was an absolute dickhead.

Oh my gosh* - just this line:*
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@OP*

Kicked off at the ceremony because she wasn't in a disabled friendly seating area - it's an ancient building so none of it is particularly disabled friendly. Also, my mother is not disabled.

@NorthernSpirit similar.

"At least all of you have your partners. It's worse for me"

Never once acknowledged how devastating the sudden loss of our Dad was to any of us.

I hope you had good support elsewhere

Blimey, so many memories are flooding back. My father was a true narcissistic, evil man. I remember him screaming at my older sister, after he had been an arse to her boyfriend, “a man’s home is his castle, and I’m the KING of this castle”.

He also wrote a furious letter to my mother, from jail, as he couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t write to his French cell mate and how dare I embarrass him! My father was in jail for sexual abuse of a minor, so I imagine his cell mate was of a similar personality. 🤢