What is going on with my coworker?

[FloMo98]

I had a lunch meeting with my coworker who's married. We both sat down across from each other and I noticed that he started tugging on the collar of his shirt for a few seconds. Then, he started touching his face. He started rubbing his mouth area and the sides of his face with his hand throughout the start of our conversation.

Soon after, he started copying my actions. I hand my elbow on the table with the tips of my fingers rested against my lips and soon after he did that same position that I was in. Or if I were to shrug my shoulder while talking to him, he'd shrug his shoulder right after me while he'd be listening.

Since we know each other well, this coworker of mine would usually give me a friendly hug and I'd accept it. Most of the time after he starts talking to me after the hug, his voice would get a little shaky while speaking. But this time before I left, he stuck out his hand for a handshake and I shook it. He's never done that to me before.

Why did he do that?

Because you guys have been having an emotional affair and he's increasing physical contact to make it familiar?

The handshake meant you are now "used" to holding hands.

But I sense from your post that you know this and are excited by it.

Absolutely @picsinred.

He sounds like he was having a hot flush.

@NottonightJosepheen -

In the past, I've asked him why he would often copy my actions, words, etc. Turns out he never really realized that he was actually doing it all that around me.

I'd be worried about him having an allergic reaction!

Maybe he hasn't showered this morning and is worried he smells bad. Would fit with seeming uncomfortable and not wanting to get too close to you.

What does it matter anyway? He's married.

Why are you spending so much time analysing what he's doing? How about analysing what you're up to, instead?

Do you think he fancies you?

Wow. You are hyper-vigilant of his every move! Why? I won't notice all those things about someone who is JUST a colleague. As for asking why he was mirroring - why on earth would you do that? People mirror, it's a social given. And a sales technique!! What were you hoping - that he would confess attraction?

I'd have assumed a hangover with the shaking and face touching to be honest.

It seems you want verification that he fancies you?? Step back amd look at your motivation for this vigilance.

Are you the same poster who asked about trembling whilst speaking to your male friend?

@Ginger1982 -

Maybe...I think this was a slip of the tongue, but before leaving a conversation that we had together, he said "I hope you enjoy the warm weather such as yourself." But then he quickly fixed by saying "such as today." I has said that I've always been one of my favorite people to talk to and that he liked me. He also said that he doesn't really give out a whole lot of hugs to other people in the workplace, but he gives them to me. I had confronted him about his behavior and he's sort of brought it down a bit, but I don't know.

@NottonightJosepheen -

I do a little bit, but I'm not ever planning on acting upon my feelings.

Are you related to @Birdsong38 by any chance???

Felt a bit nauseous? Coming down with an illness? Got the squirts?

Well then you need to back way off.

Oh ffs
I have just read update
I hate commenting on threads posters wanting others views on their EAs or the beginning of ones

Be nice OP and stand the hell back

Stop giving it so much headspace then.

Basically what you're doing here is the prelude to having an affair, spending lots of time thinking about his reactions, what you say to each other, indulging a bit of fantasy, blah blah blah - you'll then plead "we just fell for each other, we didn't mean it to happen" or some such shit, like it was magic, and not something you actively encouraged.

I hope you enjoy the warm weather such as yourself - Eh?

@EAIOU -

Sorry, I don't know who that is.

@HollySniffs maybe she's a sun , or a gust of wind ! ( if someone said that to me I would be ya wht ?)

Definitely sounds like your hoping his actions means he's into you and that some wild romantic affair can happen!

Yeah you're being a dick to indulge this OP. And if I'm honest it's a bit cringe how much headspace you're giving a married man flirting with you when you say you'll never act on it... if that's true take control and just nip it in the bud. It's not hard to be professional and not indulge men like this - I think some women think they are irresistible and don't realise it happens to all of us at some point, or lots of points, we just make it clear to the man in question that it's not even an option.

Come on OP, you know you aren't being nice behaving like this. You should want more for yourself at least than wasting energy thinking about this bloke. I think it's probably out of sight out of mind for him - perhaps along the following lines:

OP, listing obvious signs of flirting: what is he doing? Is he flirting with me? Why would he do this? He always has but said he'd tone it down. But he is doing these things? What do you think it means?

• aka faux innocence and attention seeking

Mate to the man in question: "would you shag OP?"
Man in question: "if I was single probably, yeah."
Mate: "how's the family?"
Man: "yeah good thanks mate, just booked our holiday for summer we're going back to that place..." blah blah blah

• aka REAL LIFE

Don't be cringe OP, use your headspace for something that doesn't make you look like a dick.

You want us to tell you he fancies you

Leave him alone