Dating thread 162: (Don't wanna be) All by myself...

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

It’s too late. Once you’ve revealed your serial killer tendencies, the cat is most definitely out of the bag. 😂

How's everyone tonight, I'm sat on my hands so I don't send any messages and come across as needy and pathetic what a nightmare, I feel like a teenager not a middle aged woman! I think it's probably easier to stay single instead of trying to form a relationship by texting and constantly misinterpreting messages and trying to second guess things all time and not trying to come across as too full on or coming across as not interested arrrrrrgh Then doing something again that he's already pointed out I do all time (and finds really annoying) and I never even realised I did it till he mentioned it!

Ooh crikey FMFL that's pretty scary for someone to say before even meeting lol run for the hills...

@Crustaceans god yes that message was like a bucket of cold water over my head. Such a shame as he seemed (key word there) really funny and nice. Too bad he’s turned out to be Mr NeverNoThanks.

I guess I just dust myself off and start again!

As I said earlier, I’m not sure messaging is always that brilliant a form of communication even when you’ve formed a relationship. Trying to communicate last weekend with someone who seems to be having a crisis of confidence was frustrating as he kept responding as if I was annoyed or being passive aggressive. I definitely wasn’t, but in messaging so much of the tone is often supplied by the reader rather than the writer.

He sounds like bloody hard work though. What has he complained that you do?

At least you haven't met him!! Block and move on.

Tbf I've probably made some men feel a bit pressured when I asked them to move to WhatsApp early in in conversation. Didn't realise it was such a commitment at first, I just dislike using the apps. No declarations of love, however!

Just block, do you think? Bless him he’s doing his best now to get himself out of the shithole he’s found himself in, but yeah I made it pretty clear that to me love isn’t sending a weeks worth of messages. I don’t think there’s any ladder long enough to get him back out now

I constantly answer his questions with a question I didn't even realise I did it quite as frequently and even after he pointed it out I did it again then after he went quiet on me I still didn't realise till I read back and noticed that I'd done it again. Nightmare I didn't know how annoying I could be lol

I think blocking MrSerialKiller would be fair.

I’m laughing at WhatsApp being a commitment. OLD really is quite something.

Have you met this guy, @TwoOpenOneClosed?

Even if you have, making you feel like you’re doing everything wrong is not a great start to anything.

@TwoOpenOneClosed but if that's you, who is he to tell you it's annoying and get you to change?

I'm baffled as to why that's annoying. Are you just not answering his questions and pushing back the question.

Ie. He asks how you are and you reply with why how are you?

@TwoOpen gosh maybe I’ve got my judgy knickers pulled up too high tonight, but that doesn’t strike me as a fault bad enough to warrant the silent treatment? Or have I missed something?

MrSerialKiller ok if I was hesitant about blocking him before I’m certainly not now

Yeah I met him a couple of weeks ago, I have eow free and we're trying to organise something for this weekend. I think he just gets frustrated when he asks me something and I just ask his opinion back instead of just answering him, I honestly never even realised how bad I am at doing it all the time when I read back through our conversation.

So alone. Admire your OLDating patience, ladies, I cannot be bothered, so much spam, so many players.. #jaded

Yeah it's hard to work out if I'm getting the silent treatment or not, I don't expect constant messages but I do get that he's pissed about something lol I did ask if I'd upset him before I realised what I'd done then read back and it suddenly dawned on me what the problem was! It was too late then to keep sending messages apologising just looked like I was being too needy at being ignored

@islanderin yes as I’m finding very, very quickly, OLD is pretty stressful and I’ve only had one bad experience so far😬

Oh @TwoOpenOneClosed I could not be dealing with that so early on. He's not got no right to be making you feel bad about yourself. Making you doubt if you have done anything wrong.

Yep I agree OLD is very stressful, but it's helping me to see my flaws and annoying habits which the majority of people I know and meet would never point out. So I guess it does have its benefits even if it helps me to communicate better with other guys.

No lifegoes it is really annoying and frustrating and I'm glad he's highlighted it tbh I just hope I can stop doing it quite so much!

Has someone said that before to you? @TwoOpenOneClosed

No no-one has ever pointed out that I do it, till he mentioned that I do it all the time.

So can I ask why are you choosing to believe one man that hardly knows you over people who do? @TwoOpenOneClosed and more importantly why are you wanting to change and allow a man who doesn't know you make you feel bad about something?

I don't know, I guess sometimes you learn things about yourself that never really come to light till you're put in certain situations and then they're probably more noticeable than they have ever been before.