Dating thread 162: (Don't wanna be) All by myself...

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@NestOfSwipers I may have appeared to have a good weekend with my dating but I'm not convinced either date will lead to anything. The first guy (Mr 2pm) didn't really float my boat although he was pleasant enough. Zero chemistry and he talked non-stop and is far more of a party animal than me. He would drive me mad in no time if I dated him. I did loosely agree to see a film with him at some unspecified time in the future, but it won't turn into a relationship because I didn't fancy him in the slightest.

I really fancied Mr 007 but I'm not sure whether it was mutual. Also, he is a tory voter and a brexiteer, so on a very different page politically to me. We do have quite a few interests in common but it remains to be seen whether we have a second date. He did say he would like to see me again, but I haven't had a text from him, and in the past if a guy has been keen they have sent me a text when they get home saying they had a lovely time, or a text the next day saying the same thing. I decided to bite the bullet and have just texted Mr 007 saying it was lovely to meet him and asking when (if) he would like to meet up again. He has quite a busy customer-facing job so he may not be able to text back immediately.

I do have a date arranged with someone else on Friday evening but I'm not that fussed to be honest. I am finding myself reducing my expectations/requirements as time goes on. So Mr 007 is only about half an inch taller than me, and he does have a young son who he sees every other weekend. And of course, he is a tory! And my Friday date is with someone who is retired and we don't on the face of it have anything in common.

@Ant330 He sent it to me because I was telling him that I was trying to think of what to say to Mr Art about calling it a day.
He said something along the lines of "you can always send something like this and modify it accordingly" and then sent it to me.
I obviously got upset and angry because I assumed that's how he really felt then later on the phone he said he only sent it to her so it would be a deal breaker and that's not how he sees me at all, he has strong feelings for me but isn't capable of a serious relationship right now.

@Neverexpected2 good luck! Eagerly await update.

@Averageguy no judgment! Have considered it myself in the past but never really been that motivated to actually go.

Feel almost fully over my Thursday dumping now. A bit embarrassed/cross still but not devastated anymore. Moving on quickly helps I think. In work today although lovely boss was texting on Fri to say I could just work from home for a few days if I wanted.

Mr Travel keeps texting me about food. Seems to be his main interest along with travel and martial arts. He was better looking than his pics which was a nice plus. I only intended the date last night to last a couple of hours and it lasted six so thats a good start.

@shitwithsugaron I wouldn't discount him for that without meeting him but I did date someone last year who had 3 young kids and they were so dependant still compared to mine. I am getting used to mine not needing me so much now and having a little more freedom but like you, I wouldn't introduce any man to my kids unless I felt there was a future so that's way in the distance with anyone.

@shitwithsugaron No, no date yet. We only started chatting last night.

Quick question fellow listers. When Miss Jo'burg decided she needed to pursue a relationship with someone else , I asked if she wanted to stay in touch, or if I should delete her details.

She hasn't responded, so I'm not sure what to do?

STOP PRESS Mr 007 has replied and he does want to see me again! He said that our date was lovely and he enjoyed chatting about things, including our differing views. . He has suggested Friday, and I do already tentatively have another date pencilled in for Friday, but I think I will try to move it as I suspect Mr 007 has his son staying over this Saturday so won't be able to meet me at the weekend.

I have just realised that he is actually 14 years younger than me . He does know how old I am and said that it didn't bother him. He is very well dressed so I am going to have to up my game for our date on Friday. I wore trainers last night as I am still hobbling around due to my foot injury. I am going to see if I can start wearing shoes again, or at least some nice little black suede ankle boots, to look a bit more 'polished'. I do normally like dressing up but I have let things slip since I hurt my foot.

Thanks shitwithsugaron. I am just about to go upstairs and try on some outfits to try and find something flattering (I am working from home today).

@AverageGuy I'd delete

The swingers club sounds fun, I've been. curious about those places before. My current FWB was a real hedonist before me and has done everything and anything so I'm sure he would happily take me to somewhere like that. However I'm such a big chicken!!!!

average I am going to one at the weekend with my FWB. First time. Any tips? I have no idea what to wear 😂🙈

lilyrose88 whooohoooo

Some very encouraging updates here! Still chatting with Mr WhatsApp. A date is proving tricky due to childcare (me) and work commitments (him). He has no dc so I’m hoping he’s ok with my being a mum first and potential date second. However, I’ve just been on Bumble and he’s deleted his account. Worrying sign or good sign?

Shireena Marlboro I went to Ab Fabs near Heathrow. It's a large venue, with things like a dungeon, dark room, glory holes, disco and swimming pool (no swimming costume required!). It's just been refurbished, and is still having work done on it.

Don't be (too) nervous. You are in charge of things. Most people are very friendly, and respectful, (but watch out for the dreaded "towel zombies"), and understand that no means no.

Ladies generally turn up in something lacy, or tight (including pvc), but have a change of clothes with them for when things get, er steamy...

As with any "casual" thing, make sure you know your boundaries, and stick to them!

If I can answer anything else, feel free to pm me, and I'll help where I can.

average OK, I’ll be brave: what is a towel zombie?

Some clubs allow single guys in on certain nights.

Some single guys have been known to wonder around the clubs in nothing but a towel...

I must admit I assumed everyone was in a towel, if that!

I also thought guys would probs be I towels! 😂

I was planning on wearing a short black dress (I am defo jeans and T-shirt’s girl usually) with some nice knickers and bra under. Is that too normal? 🙈🙈🙈

Cassettes not at all. In fact, a lot of people start out are dressed in more than you might see in an average night club... It's all quite respectful really.

Not to say that there aren't those (and I have to say from what I saw, mainly the ladies) that don't wear very much at all...

I've heard that some clubs let in (and charge significantly more for!) more single guys than couples / single ladies, so the ratio can seem skewed, and it means quite a lot of single guys wondering around, like lions looking for a lame gazelle...

@AverageGuy thanks for that insight, sounds like your average club night with sex dropped into it!!!....were couples approaching you?

Marlborough No, that sounds perfect! which club will that be?

shireena - that's quite a good description actually!

No, I wasn't approached at all. I helped the couple with something in the locker room, got chatting, had a drink, and sort of got taken under their wing. Pure luck on my part, but I learned a lot about approach technique, which I think translates to "normal" dating.

Ladies, there is a poster on another topic looking for female for female dating sites. I know one was mentioned on here, but I can't find it... Can you help?