Dating thread 162: (Don't wanna be) All by myself...

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@Sunshineandflipflops I'd leave it as he doesn't seem too bothered. Focus on those who are quicker to respond as then clearly more interested! You deserve much better.

He's probably hedging his bets @Sunshineandflipflops. I'd take control of the situation and cancel it. You aren't really into him anyhow I don't think?

Well it seems I've actually just told Mr SAS where to go after a bit of an eye opening WhatsApp this morning.

That wasn't my plan today

I'm so F-ing angry at myself.

Urgh what a sucky start to your morning Sunshine. What happened?

@Sunshineandflipflops I think you're in a slow fade situation here. I wouldn't send another message now. Just leave it. If you dont hear from him by tonight, cancel the reservation. Maybe he didn't reply because he was out like you said and didn't want to get into a online conversation with you, and will reply today, though it would have been easy enough for him to say "I'm out with mates tonight, but yes, looking forward to Monday and we'll chat tomorrow". How is in that difficult?? I feel your pain, even if you're not bothered you still want to be able to consign them to "archived chat", just for good housekeeping!

@Stuckandsad and @TooOldForThis67 Hope last night's date went well.

@kerkyra Great news about the money.

@TwoOpenOneClosed Are you actually meeting up with any of these "too" men or are you discounting them from their photos/profiles? I think a lot of men on OLD tend to put their most extreme photos on thinking this is what will attract women - some make the mistake of every pic being mountain biking, gym, iron man event/mud runner, scuba diving with the obligatory OK finger sign. Fair enough some are action men, and when they find time for dating I don't know, but a lot have trawled through years of photos to make themselves seem more interesting. Yes, they probably like doing the odd marathon and going biking if the weather is nice, but they may be just as happy with a takeaway and watching a movie 🤷🏻‍♀️, it's a snapshot of who they are.

@Ant330 Hope you had an enjoyable time 😂

Seeing MrC today for the first time in a week. Missed him like mad 😍

@ElektraUnchained We we're chatting and I told him I was thinking of cancelling a date for tomorrow but not sure what to say.
He sent me a screenshot of a date he's binned off yesterday, which basically said that he is no good, he's a womaniser and has a string of women on the go.

Kind of hit me in the face like a big wet fish that I am one of those women.

I replied and told him that I think I'd tell my date the truth, "that I think I will be honest and say that I’m not in the right headspace to date him or anyone else because I seem to be allowing myself to be headfucked by someone who doesn’t actually want me and never will yet I can’t seem to walk away but I need to as I fear I am working my way into a list of a ‘string of women’ again and I’m better than that.

How does that sound?"

I got a "WTF" message back.

Oh sunshine,that reply was so brave,well done you.
You are juggling two twats here and neither deserve you,I think just hold your head high and get on with finding someone who deserves you.
I wouldn't reply to the wtf, some men just have no idea . Hugs x

@Sunshineandflipflops Well done for laying your cards on the table. He can carry on his mindfucking games with the others. If he doesn't get the message now, I fear he never will. Does he think he's God's gift to women and he's doing you all a favour 🤷🏻‍♀️?

I'm not replying. I don't even know what to say that I haven't already.

I can't believe he didn't see what he had done wrong in letting me see that message.

Thats a good message, maybe just block his number?

@Sunshineandflipflops that is shit and I am sorry to hear that Mr SAS has so little respect for you and other women it seems. You honestly deserve so much better.

As for Mr Art, I can only say that me and Mr Runner have had periods of not messaging much and I have been very insecure about it but we are ten dates in now and making plans for September. Do you ever talk to Mr Art over the phone or is it all messaging? I would be inclined to talk to him later to work out how interested he is and then cancel the date if he isn't.

Thanks. I think I might have finally found my anger.

sunshine I would absolutely fling my shit at that vile man, by sharing that with you he has shown what he thinks of you as well as how he treats women. I would call him out in every last detail then tell him to feck the feck off. As for the other one, I would get in first and call a halt. Your cupboard may then be bare but at least it will be clean.

Ah mr StupudARseSod has just proven his name.

As @CassettesAreCool says your cupboard is clean. Get filling it! Have a good Sunday and jump back on. You're not into Mr Art anyway he was your distraction from dick brain.

It was a good response, sunshine. You deserve better, and you will get it.

@Sunshineandflipflops what an arse that man is. That must have been very hurtful to see.

I'm just getting ready for my coffee date with Mr Local. He has ticked the box on POF that says 'wants to date but nothing serious' so I suspect he is just after ONS or FWB. That's not on my agenda so we will see how the date goes. He lives in the same town/village as me and has similar hobbies, so maybe he could become a friend. Plus he might have some nice friends who are after a 1-2-1 relationship, so I won't completely write him off.

@TwoOpenOneClosed I'm one of those 'too' blokes and Je Suis Prest is bob on. Once I'm done training, I'm utterly normal (apart from the posting on Mumsnet ). Where Je Suis Prest is not quite right, is that stuff is depicted on my profile not to impress but to be upfront about it being part of me.

@Sunshineandflipflops I'm going to disagree with @Peanuthedz for once here. You've been badly hurt by an utter dickhead, and potentially another one in the margins. I would take some time for myself in this scenario - I see going back into it as jumping out of the frying pan into the fire. Better will be out there, I'm sure, whenever you decide to have a look again

Thanks everyone. Mr Art has also just replied to my 'do you want to give it a miss' text from yesterday with "okay".

I told him I'd already cancelled and it's a shame he couldn't have been honest with me but all the best.

From two to zero in a few hours...

sunshine from 2 dickheads to 0 dickheads in a few hours is a stunning result in my book, but yes you probably do feel a bit stunned! I agree with hairy and would suggest reaching out to and spend time with the nicest people you know IRL to re-establish your faith in humanity 💐

@CassettesAreCool The problem is, most of my RL friends are busy with their lives and partners...hence wanting to meet someone I guess.

I know what you mean sunshine. When I feel like this I seek out my adult DC, my dogs and nature, then my friends IRL - but yes they are often busy, and find it difficult to relate. That’s what’s so great about this thread.

Do you have any hobbies you can realistically do outside the home? I used to play rugby, that and the associated socials was a fairly successful way of meeting new people. My cousin is in a gin club, every saturday they go somewhere to drink gin, she doesn’t go everytime, but she enjoys it as it gets her out the house.