Dating thread 162: (Don't wanna be) All by myself...

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

I'm sorry to say I have quite a touch of the green eyed monster about me for those who find it easy to get dates. Speaking to a promising one who is off to London this weekend (but not for a nice reason) and will be in contact Sunday night. Another who was at a conference and would be in contact the next day. I said I'd look forward to hearing from him. The next day came and went, and the day after... Another who just did the "good morning" type of messaging, ie no substance. Swiping and not many matches. Feeling sorry for myself as it's a quiet weekend ahead...

I’ve got a date! First person that’s messaged me with something other than Hey beautiful lady🙄 Chatted for ages last night, seems really nice - I must not over invest! Was going to call him MrCornish but that’s already been taken @JeSuisPrest! So I’ll call him MrBrewer - fingers crossed

@NestOfSwipers You probably have much higher standards than I ever did. Better to have fewer dates with a better 'calibre' of man than setting the bar low and settle for any old shite . I waded through a lot of shite...💩

Honestly, I still get shite, @JeSuisPrest, I just don't get to meet them face to face!!! 🤣

@Nowthefunbegins so pleased for you you deserve a nice date after your tough time.

@Shitwithsugaron This is what karma feels like baby! I hope he's crying into his Iceland curry for one at how he treated you.

@ElektraUnchained I had the "I'm not feeling it" dumping from a guy after 4 months. It was brutal.

@Stuckandsad. Mr Plumber hmmm? Yep, have fun. I did with mine 👍. Keep your hand on your butterfly valve on the first date though. Always handy to know a plumber so even if it doesn't work out, keep his number.

Hey love I hope you're feeling ok? How was the dog you viewed or are you still looking.

I'm not sure the guy I'm texting loads is right for me. I'm trying to listen to my gut on this. It could just be me being picky though.

That's great news nowthefunbegins, hope it goes well. Are you coffee shopping or pub and a drink to calm the nerves

@NestOfSwipers 🤷🏻‍♀️ At least you can deal with the shite in your dressing gown without shaving your legs whilst watching Gogglebox... speaking of which @SimonJT I will be avidly watching tonight wondering who he is... it's not Gyles Brandreath is it??? 😂

@JeSuisPrest I am the proud owner of Philips Lumea, with any luck I will never need to shave my legs ever again. Work in progress though. And I'm thankful for the yoga I do which enables me to contort myself to reach those hard to get places...

@JeSuisPrest haha no, don’t fancy a sugar daddy 😂

Is someone going to ask @simonjt what his predator face is? Am happy to take a guess at the context.

Was just looking at new men who have joined fab.

One joined with a similar nickname to Johngreen60 with predictably an age of 60... The next new member Johngreen50 with predictably an age of 50. Nope not a typo error. If he's 50, he's had a really hard life.

Movie date with FWB about to begin.

Simon I'm watching gogglebox and if its who I think I'm a fan too and buy his stuff 😉😊

I've just had an evening with my best friend and a takeaway.

We had a good chat and, predictably she thinks I am playing with fire with Mr SAS and that I should cut contact. I say predictably because I know she's right and that I would give her the same advice if the shoe were on the other foot.

But then he's the one who has been texting me tonight and not Mr Art...

@SimonJT I am going to watch Gogglebox tomorrow and figure out who your ex is!

So,I have my date tonight at 6. Then can get home for son at 9 to put to bed. It's so tricky with kids but as he's 11 he is fine for a few hrs.
My date doesn't seem to have any responsibilities which i think is where I'm struggling abit,he also seems set in his ways with his time. But we have that spark!!! Now got to see of there is more substance as last weekend we just laughed alot but didn't really have any deep convos.
Will call him Mr eyes

So I had had a bath last night to do some more crying in and had a message from a guy who had just moved to the city less than 24hrs ago from abroad. Turns out we were at uni together at the same time.

Decided I was done moping and got out of the bath and met him in town. Came back to mine and hooked up. Sex wasn't the best (probably due to jet lag) but not terrible either. Probably won't see him again but at least it distracted me and have got back on the horse. Feel less upset today.

Have another date lined up for Sunday and a few more people messaging me that I may see at some point.

Good luck for tonight kerkyra.

Sounds like your mate is right Sunshineandflipflops. Much as I would like to see the guy who just dumped me again, I know it would only hurt me and make me feel shit in the long term.

Good going, eletreka!

@NestOfSwipers I think I just got lucky with my three dates. I looked on POF at the 'nearby' list and messaged a load of guys. I tried hard to be chatty and friendly and asked questions about their interests and then suddenly they all wanted to meet me. However, with my track record each date will end with me realising there is no chemistry, or I will really like them and they will send me a 'thanks but no thanks' message the next day.

It is not easy being a dater of a 'certain age' and I have been single for over two years, with a couple of brief relationships during this time. Maybe we should meet up and compare notes - I'll PM you again.

Gah I keep vacillitating between feeling ok and feeling like I've been punched in the chest. Wish I could just turn my emotions off.

@LilyRose88 that sounds rough. I hate being single as I like attention and someone messaging me/wanting to see me. But I also have a v low tolerance for most men and their bullshit so not looking forward to wading through the dross again before I find someone I can actually stand to see more than a couple of times.

It's so good to read about all the success stories on here but it's just so depressing and hard to keep going. I've wasted so much time going through everyone on tinder and pof but they're either too old, too young, too fit, too adventurous, too weird, too many tattoos, too yeah you get my gist I guess I'm being too choosy and I'm far from perfect who wants a middle aged woman with 3 children no one apparently! Is it worth paying for Match as anyone has any luck on there?

Yeah Electra I love it when you get constant messages making you feel wanted and desired! I hate it when they stop and you realise you're right back to square one again, next...

tooopenoneclosed I'm on Match and very happily on the smitten bench (after 9 dates now) but others haven't had much luck. I have only dated four men since February so definitely don't have much luck in terms of numbers of dates. I think much depends on where you live, some areas seem to have more men than others and I know most people on the thread don't think it's worth it.

Hi Stealthninjamum I'm just really struggling to find even one person that I even would want to meet up with! I've just had a look on Match and the majority of them are all on Pof so I guess it's not worth paying for anyway. I guess I must live in an area where I don't have a good choice of men! They're either clad in Lycra/ half way up a mountain type men or from the school of hard knocks and have a huge chip on their shoulder type lol I guess the type of guy I want is already happily married to someone!

@Neverexpected2 Were there multiple gays?! I didn’t watch it.