Dating thread 162: (Don't wanna be) All by myself...

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@HairyArsedMan not at all, I never gave any induction it wasn't all that. We were fine after laughed about us falling asleep after etc. We spoke about his work all night. He was sharing things with me. Said goodnight and then nothing.

The message he sent on FB was very off and sarcastic and i didn't reply. But I've heard nothing from him now since Tuesday night.

@HairyArsedMan indication not induction.

@lifegoes I'd see that as a red flag. He knows he's not trustworthy

@StealthNinjaMum @AverageGuy you’re absolutely right, taking it off thread would be wrong and change the dynamic of the thread which is so lovely and supportive.

Ignore my idle musings...

lifegoes if he needs to tell you he's trustworthy then he's probably lying. Time to move on.

LooUpdate good luck. Hope the date goes well.

Sidge I was in WA group of people from this thread a couple of years ago. Most of them stopped posting and just used the group like the thread. The plan was to meet up regularly. No idea if this happened because I left after a few weeks. The number of messages was too overwhelming for me. It's difficult to keep up with this thread at times.

I know I ignored red flags. I know I did @Ginmel

No problem myold I'll just totally switch off how I feel and move on

Just a bit of getting this off my chest as i cant talk to anyone IRL. Jumped back on tinder after a bit of a rough time with my previous date. Now have three dates lined up ! I think I've finally come around to feeling the fun side of OLD and think (so far) im not over investing which has been my big mistake previously. I feel like I'm finally "getting " OLD , thanks to alot of advice from this thread

I'm such a newbie at this OLD malarky lol texting and speaking loads with a guy meet him on Saturday and now his messaging had just tailed off and hasn't replied since yesterday afternoon! I just feel that he wasn't that into me but wished he'd said on Sunday after the date. Now I don't know whether to just ignore and leave it or send a message just to see...i really miss our chats and that feeling of being wanted

@twoopenoneclosed if he wanted to get in touch, he would.... Some people on here may chase, I wouldn't. I'd read the rules on page 1 and get back online..

Thanks Ginmel I really miss getting all his messages, I'm so tempted to just send one but know it's a waste of time. This dating is such hard work I feel like I'm on a roller coaster!

Thanks ant,I think it was you. They have opened a case so fingers crossed. Ps4 hidden away now for a month and son needs to do jobs for me.
It's almost the weekend and hoping my last weekend date makes a plan to see me? Loads of texts but no plan as yet. I will sit back and see.
I like this one. Tall,going grey,tattoos and seems decent. He has a physical disability which I think may have been hard for him as a kid. I really want this one to work as we went to the local pub and walked the dog in my area and I expect neighbours curtains will be twitching. Dont really want this to go nowhere and then have another bloke in a couple of months Haha.
I wont mention the weekend and hopefully he pulls his finger out!

I couldn't resist Ginmel I messaged him lol he did reply straight away apologising with a possible genuine reason so I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt we shall see how it pans out from now, but I shall keep an open mind!
Kerkyra I hope you manage to get all your money back and I hope you arrange a date for the weekend sounds promising x

lifegoes no one is suggesting you 'switch off' how you feel. This guy has left you confused and hurt by his actions (or lack of them). But how you deal with this is up to you.
You can either confront him by asking what's going on and maybe get some closure. Or take control and decide not to let him have any more headspace.
Trying to understand why he's behaved like this will tie you in knots.
Easier said than done, I know.

Message him lifegoes then you can draw a line under it, if not you'll be forever wondering what if. That's what I've just done, I just wonder what would have happened if I hadn't messaged him though? He really doesn't need to be taking up all that space inside your head no man should be making us second guess everything x

I hope he didn't go the sick relative route @twoopen Just remember the rules and keep talking here

Sorry myold I thought just posting on here my update and talking to some about it, like I've helped and supported many on this page over the months including you. As I thought this was the whole point of this thread. Not just to be told suck it up and move on

I've said numerous times I'm not contacting him, I've replied to people saying I'm not contacting him. I don't need closure his zero texting was all I needed.

Yes I'm trying to find a rational reason for his behaviour, maybe from someone who had perhaps had a similar experience

Whatever happens,I'm just pleased I made him hard 😃 not that we did much last week. After Mr garden gate and me posting on here I couldnt even find his thing,I now know it wasn't me and someone finds me attractive!

Let's stay positive everyone

It's hard isn't it @lifegoes as much as we know we can trust our instincts, you want to give people a chance even if we see some red flags.

I don't know about you but occasionally I've told myself I was just nervous and not ignoring actually ignoring a red flag then whatever happens and I realise I should have listened to my instinct in the first place

Sending

BTW sadly I doubt there is a rational reason because he's a knob.

@Ginmel oh totally agree. I think anyone who has read my previous posts on here. I've been here before. I got a bit concerned when he spun things around and 'proved' he wasn't on bumble I thought this is my paranoia from previous ex. But it wasn't. My gut was telling me along to not go there.

Thank you, yeah absolutely no rational reason for his behaviour I'll just be another on his list. But thankfully I just didn't text/respond to FB message so I took control.

You sure do have the control. Silence can be a powerful response.

Just remember you are the prize x

@kerkyra gutted I never saw that post about mr garden gate 🤣😂

Kerkyra sounds like he gives you a huge confidence boost and I'm sure you're a very attractive woman you just need to find the right man to appreciate it and I think you just might have!
Lifegoes sorry but I agree with Ginmel he just sounds like an absolute knob and there will be no rational reason to why he has behaved like this.

Mr WhatsApp ( has that name been taken??) just seems too good to be true...funny, nice, keen to meet...and only been 24 hours. I’ve gone back to reread the rules on the first page. I’m tattooing no. 4 onto my brain.