Dating thread 162: (Don't wanna be) All by myself...

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

I always preferred moving to WhatsApp for messages. It’s just easier. I gave MrSG my number (actually we swapped numbers) within 24 hours too. It means that I have an archive of almost all our messages (barring the very first few on tinder). He said after deleting tinder that he wished he’d archived those first. 😂

@lifegoes I wonder if there might possibly have been some mutual misunderstanding rather than actual ghosting. You say he ghosted you with no good morning message, but did you reply to his message the previous night? If not, he might be feeling that you shagged him then ghosted him. It’s so hard day for things to be miscommunication and misconstrued in the early days.

@Sunshineandflipflops It really doesn’t sound like you are that into Mr Art. If you were, you just wouldn’t be interested in swiping (or MrSAS for that matter).

@JeSuisPrest It’s so lovely to see you so smitten. Waiting to see someone you really like is so hard.

@Stuckandsad I agree that it isn’t always a dreadful sign if someone lives a long way from their child. I would wonder why he moved away but there may be a perfectly sensible explanation. DS1’s dad has lived hundreds of miles away from DS1 for more than a decade now - but that’s because I moved away and he wasn’t a dick about me needing to move for work (also, he realises that he’s never really done any parenting whatsoever; he’d never had him overnight until he was 7). He always saw him in the school holidays (and would do all the driving for it too).

He’s not a bad guy - but he was pretty useless and scared as a very young father (I was equally young but had to get on with it). His GF clearly wants to have kids now (he’s less keen) and he’d probably make a good father now he’s nearly 40. He was just shit at 19 (and beyond). 😂

I’m sure whoever looks at the reports on POF will agree with you, @MyOldBrainStoppedWorking.

I have moved onto WhatsApp pretty quickly to chat with guys. I found it easier to message on there, and for me Bumble was pretty clunky. It didn’t always show notifications despite having them switched on.

And it’s easy to block or archive if you need to.

I love WhatsApp. 😁 I think I’d quite like a WhatsApp group with some posters on this thread 😁😁

Ok we’re on WhatsApp! love this thread. for you all.

sidge good idea, but I fear that if there was a whatsapp group, this thread would die...

I've just arranged a movie date with FWB, after my other iron rearranged meeting up to next weekend. I think I might not have the energy to juggle more than one man at a time. Iron seems nice, and FWB is fun but I don't envision anything serious/long term. I still would rather spend time with FWB than figure out anyone new. My head is muddled. I think I'll have a chat with him over the weekend, and possibly call it off with the other guy afterwards.

Thanks guys. Yes I think I will go with an open mind and listen. I am actually really excited to meet him 😊

Loo update: feeling relaxed and confident. waiting to launch the questions. He seems relaxed too. Wish me luck.

@Sidge I think small whatsapp groups could be started but given we had some kind of pest making women feel uncomfortable it's probably best to approach a small number of people who are obviously genuine and you know. I benefitted from whatsapping people simply because I had never communicated on it or used an emoji until four months ago.

@shitwithsugaron I named the hairy one's date Ms Lucky but he seemed to think he was the lucky one (awwwww)

@looupdate good luck

Good luck @LooUpdate!

How many of us are on dates this weekend?

The babysitter is due at 6pm, lets see if she survives an evening with my feral son, he has never been looked after by someone he doesn’t know before, so I’m just going to MrNoNames flat then I’m only twenty minutes away if I need to get home quick.

@LooUpdate Fingers crossed for you.

@Crustaceans yeah I replied to his goodnight text. He has always text good morning. I don't think there was any misunderstanding

Good luck @LooUpdate.

I’m sure your son will have a lovely time with the babysitter @SimonJT.

I’ve just realised actually never left either of my children with a paid babysitter (at home - they did go to nursery/after school childcare). With DS1 I could never afford it, but had family and friends who would help. Later I had neither (having relocated) but my ex would never have agreed to it. And now DS1 is old enough to drive, vote and get a bloody job babysit if necessary. It’s suddenly occurred to me how weird that is. And how bloody lucky I have been in terms of having people available (ignoring the decade of doom with my ex in the middle).

Ah @lifegoes. In which case, screw him. He’s missing out on you. And that makes him an idiot.

In fact, @lifegoes, message him this: m.youtube.com/watch?v=5SAlUFIpOWI

Thank you @Crustaceans I did really doubt myself there. It just makes no sense as to why not text and then send a sarcastic message on FB about my post.

@SimonJT enjoy your date tonight.

I have no dates this weekend as I have my kids and don't like to get rid of them when I only have them EOW, but I have a dinner date with Mr Art on Monday evening (parents babysitting) and cinema with Mr SAS on Tuesday evening (child free night).

I hope you and your son have a lovely time tonight @SimonJT

Hahaha love that @Crustaceans I guess I'm just at a loss as to why anyone would go on about being respectful and show that beforehand. Then not have the decency to say it's not working

Thanks @Crustaceans, I now have "fuck you, and the horse you came in on" in my head 😂

@lifegoes it may just be a coincidence but several people i've known including colleagues that told me upfront to trust them without any prompting from me, all turned out to be lying thumdercunts. It's as though because they aren't trustworthy and know it they have to tell me they are.

This probably very biased theory extended to fab and the two men who said they were genuine in their profile titles, actually weren't.

Yeah. I should have warned you about the possible earworm effects of that. 😂

@lifegoes maybe a bit of straw clutching but could he think it is working so well that messaging is not necessary now ? It is perplexing behaviour, I agree. Did you say it wasn't all that ? Maybe embarrassed ?

@ShitWithSugarOn There was a fortnight hiatus so as you may imagine I'm really, really looking forward to a date with MsMarxAndMarzipan at the weekend after I've dropped off DC.

@Ginmel tbh I found it very strange that he would say all that over and over again.

He would make a point of always reassuring me