Overthinking? No response from date

[Splendidsun]

Would appreciate some advice, met a guy from Match, three excellent dates, coffee, drinks and dinner, third date at mine and dtd...this was last Saturday. Messaging and chatting every day.

Date set up for tomorrow, I messaged at lunch to confirm via WA and no response. Message has been delivered and not read. First guy in four months of dating that I really like. Should I just assume for whatever reason he isn't interested now?

I know I mustn't message again but it is hard, thinking how could he have changed his mind about me in one afternoon plus if he has I find it rude that he hasn't messaged me to tell me. Keep checking my phone, this is crazy, I am a grown woman of 46! TIA for sane advice.

Don’t shoot the messenger but, I think you’re a one and done.

Hope I’m wrong

Has he been texting as normal since Saturday?

No experience of this as haven't dated in the what's App era, but I can't believe you are freaking out just because you haven't heard for a few hours. He could be a meeting or doing something urgent work-related. He could be out with friends or family and (rightly) be giving them his full attention and not gagging around on his phone. Or he could just be an entirely typical male who doesn't think it is necessary to be in touch with someone constantly. I'd definitely leave it until at least tomorrow morning before you send a follow up. Otherwise you look a bit needy and stalker-y.

Doesn't look great

It happens, sadly. (Offers a hand hold. My record was a guy who chased me for 10 sodding months - and it was him did the chasing - then went for "one and done".)

Yep normal messages since Saturday. Will choose to presume he is now not interested unless I hear otherwise. Shame as I thought there was a connection, actually he told me there was and I agreed!

Thanks for advice / feedback on situation. I will of course update if situation changes.

Fermats does one and done mean they chase / date you until dtd and then drop you?

Bloody mean!

Good luck - onwards and upwards, Splendid. You deserve someone who is really keen. (Without being ridiculously keen, if you know what I mean.)

Thanks Fermat - how are you? Found the one or still searching? This is becoming bloody exhausting!

Also if we dtd Saturday why has he been phoning / messaging to meet up tomorrow? I suppose I need to presume he met someone this afternoon? Hate not knowing ....

Well if you haven’t heard by tomorrow I’d send a brief message like ‘hi are we still on for lunch today?’
If no response then guess that’s your answer. And if lunch comes and goes and he doesn’t text you to ask where you are that’s the nail on the coffin.
But I’d give it more time. My husband waited a week to call me after our first date! He’d been away on business then had his kids staying, and as he just started using the dating agency we met he had three other dates lined up before he even met me.

What time tomorrow are you meeting?

I think if he has been texting as normal and you have only been waiting for a few hours, you never know, something could have come up. I’d give it this evening at least.

For what it’s worth, I think he simply thinks things have gone well and you’re speeding up the meet ups a little...so no need to be as full on by phone. But I’m still single so don’t take this as gospel

And yes I wouldn’t text again now. Wait until tomorrow.

Agree it is exhausting!

Hi there! More positive responses, thank you! I have been on MN for over fifteen years, first came on here when I was having a miscarriage and didn't know what to do. I dip in and out, offering advice and asking for advice ...... and I know that normally scenarios like this do not have a happy ending .... but will try and not get despondent.

Thanks again!

I don’t think it’s one and done, because they usually have their personality transplant straight away in my experience.
He’s busy op, do something absorbing, go for a run?

We are meant to be meeting at 7pm tomorrow but haven't confirmed a location. I won't message again tonight, he knows my number!!!

Good luck!

How long is it since he's been out of contact? How frustrating!

Thank you. WA still says the message hasn't be read so maybe busy? He's a life coach / dad of two girls plus trains a sports team, so could be busy?

If he hadn't read message and I go to bed with no response I will just text goodnight and nothing else.

No! Don't send another message if he doesn't reply. Just leave it now. If he doesn't message back then just assume he's not interested anymore and move on. I know it's hard but you don't want to look desperate.

No contact Since lunchtime. Normally the longest we have gone is about five hours? But we were mid conversation, both saying we were excited about seeing each other tomorrow. Anyhow, I know I have been myself and if he decided that this isn't good enough for him, well there is nothing I can do.

oh splendid i hope he does respond to you. And I agree, it is bloody exhausting!

I reckon he is probably just busy OP. If he hadnt contacted since Saturday it would be very suspect, but its all been normal and just today he said how much he is looking forward to seeing you! I reckon his phone is out of batteries or something and he will text before bed this evening.

Maybe his phone has died?
Fingers crossed for you op. I know how exhausting this is.

It is hard. My XH chested on me. Took me ages to pull myself together and start dating. Despite my bravado I do care, I have over invested and I now feel completely and utterly crap,