What age for a DD to go public toilets on their own

[Eggshellnutmeg]

This is in relationships as I am struggling with this conversation with my DH.

My DH has told my 6yo to go to the toilet on her own whilst out in public, once was a known venue where she has been many times, recently was a new venue but we were sat opposite the door in a restaurant, a toilet that she has never used before.

My view is that age is too young, heavy doors, locks and other adults not expecting a child to be stood the other side and opening a door onto her.

I wouldn’t want to see a bloodied nose or a hand hurt in a lock or hinge when it would have been just so easy to just have taken her to the toilet.

Don't know what the consensus will be on here but I would not let my 6 year old go to the loo on there own in a public place.

I do allow her to use the disabled or the cubicle when I am outside the door. I'm probably over cautious but I don't leave my kids unattended for now at their age.

No no no

No

Much too young.

Around age 10 I'd say depending on how sensible the child is. But I am quite cautious.

I would have thought that 6 or 7 was about right, on condition that it was a safe* place, and someone was waiting in earshot outside of the door.

• I know nowhere can be guaranteed to be safe, but I'd be more comfortable at say softplay or a small coffee shop etc than a pub or town centre public toilets

not at 6 and especially if out with just dad as he can’t just pop into the ladies to make sure she’s ok

I think 6 or 7 is fine. I wouldn’t let my dc into the public toilets on the streets alone as they’re often filthy, have drug dealers, needles etc about but I wouldn’t use one of those myself unless it was an emergency. At cafes, sports centres, soft play etc I normally accompany to the door and wait for them to come out. I don’t think I’d let them go off on their own to find it but depends on the layout and place itself really.

Most swimming pools don’t let kids of the opposite sex in after 7 so it’s good practice for her if you’re not already allowing her in a changing room by herself.

I still accompany 10 year old and wait outside cubicle.

Will allow her to go with older sister but even then would depend on where we are.

Apart from anything else, public toilets may not have paper, seat etc may not be clean and little ones can't always reach soap, water etc.

I think 7 is fine, my 8 year old boy has to go into the gents alone and that is more risky.

Agree with comments regarding those above age 7 having to go into their own anyway, so needs to be introduced no later than that

Well I certainly let my reception age gd go on her own when I’m getting coffee in a shop.
I would say it depends on the venue.
My first thought was as soon as they reliably wipe their bottom.

Crazy! My girl is 2 years old right now, however there is no chance she will go in the toilets alone till she’s a teen. That’s still pushing it. If I had a boy I would take him with me in to the ladies, unless there was a male relative around I trusted.
There are nasty people about. You can’t trust them.

Nightmare for my DH, but he always took DD into the gents with him when she was that age

So are you saying the options are DH take the 6-year-old DD to the men's room with him or she go alone to the women's? I would pick alone to the women's versus going into the men's room with open urinals.

No I wouldn’t let any child go to a public toilet alone at this age.
I think having men’s and ladies toilets/changing rooms doesn’t really work for families. There needs to be a lot more individual/unisex toilets. I’m not willing to let my DS go to a men’s on his own. There’s a risk of sexual assault. Some women don’t like me bringing my DS in the ladies with me. My answer to them is that I would rather put up with their complaining than live with the fallout from DS being assaulted in a men’s room.

Im trying to think back to when my daughter was that age (it was a few years ago). She was very confident but I think it was when she was around 8 that she decided for herself that she didn't need to be accompanied all the way. Id leave it to the child though it does depend on the familiarity with the location.

Some women don’t like me bringing my DS in the ladies with me. My answer to them is that I would rather put up with their complaining than live with the fallout from DS being assaulted in a men’s room

That's entirely reasonable

It winds me up that anyone would object to a mum bringing a little boy to the loo tbh

Some women don’t like me bringing my DS in the ladies with me.

That really depends on how old your son is and how child friendly the venue is. Some children do look older than their age which can cause consternation if they are in the women's toilets.

I would have said 10, but as women’s toilets are soon to allow heterosexual men with penises in them, I would say older.

He’s 9. Someone close me (male) was sexually assaulted around this age by an adult (female).
So anyone can tell me that it’s inappropriate to supervise him in public but experience and my gut tells me that I need to.
If I send him into a men’s toilet, how easy would it be for a man to assault a 9 year old boy? Very easy. It happens.

8 but I’d stand outside and wait if DS was in the gents.

OP you need to stop thinking in terms of age.

A child can go to the public loos on their own when they feel comfortable and it is safe for them to do so. That depends on the child and the venue.

I would let my DS who is 9 go to moat public toilets on his own but if I was for example at a stadium with him where there are thousands of people using the facilities I would suggest we go together.

My DD is 5 and in a small venue which we know and where I can see the door to the loo from where we are, I will allow her to go alone.

It is about you and her feeling comfortable and obviously ensuring she is safe.

In my opinion 6 is too young....my daughter is 7 and although perfectly able to go to the toilet alone ..i still go with her and probably will until she's 10 or older!
Ive heard about kids getting abused in toilets because someone was hiding in the cubicle waiting and thats scared the life out of me!

I let my 6yo ds go in alone if it's somewhere I'm familiar with and I know it's quiet and I'm outside.

Busy place wth loads of fandoms in and out - no way.