What age for a DD to go public toilets on their own

[Eggshellnutmeg]

This is in relationships as I am struggling with this conversation with my DH.

My DH has told my 6yo to go to the toilet on her own whilst out in public, once was a known venue where she has been many times, recently was a new venue but we were sat opposite the door in a restaurant, a toilet that she has never used before.

My view is that age is too young, heavy doors, locks and other adults not expecting a child to be stood the other side and opening a door onto her.

I wouldn’t want to see a bloodied nose or a hand hurt in a lock or hinge when it would have been just so easy to just have taken her to the toilet.

Of course it happens. But incredibly rarely- which is why it’s news.

resipsa I would very much object to a man entering the ladies to accompany his daughter. If he announced his arrival as you suggest though I wouldn’t exactly have chance to object though would I? If he’s that determined to go with her why not just take her into the gents?

When it happened to me it wasn't in the news. Lazy parents

“I was in a place a few weeks ago and there was a sign in there saying boys over the age of 8 would not be permitted in the ladies loo which I thought was disgraceful”

Why? Why should an 8 year old girl have to put up with a boy in what she has a right to expect to be an all female space?

totoros I wouldn’t consider it lazy parenting at all. I’d consider it a case of parents helping their children become independent.

There's other ways to help kids be independent. Anyway carry on. I'll keep my kids safe thanks.

I guess he thought that he would ask - no doubt politely and gently - rather than expose his 8 year old daughter to urinating men. I guess he prioritised his child over the potential objector's feelings. Hey ho.

What was he asking?

Can my DD use the ladies?

I was in a place a few weeks ago and there was a sign in there saying boys over the age of 8 would not be permitted in the ladies loo which I thought was disgraceful.

Why? It's much more disgraceful that girls wanting privacy are not allowed to have it.

I'd let my 6 yo dd if I knew they were empty, I.e. in a quiet restaurant. She refuses though.

“I guess he thought that he would ask - no doubt politely and gently - rather than expose his 8 year old daughter to urinating men. I guess he prioritised his child over the potential objector's feelings. Hey ho”

So the thought his 8 year old daughter was at risk of attack in a women’s loo. Right.

I am going to sound so paranoid but I didn't let my daughter go on her own to public toilets until she was about 15, someone always went with her unless it was a single cubicle and i could see the door.
My boys are really little so not an issue yet. There was a young boy raped in the toilet of a mcdonalds near us, the raper watched the family and saw the boy go on his own, think he was about 8. It has terrified me so I will struggle to let them go on their own.

@BertrandRussell & isabellerossignol

Well, what do you think I should do? Send him into a public bathroom alone? He's 9, and I accept that horrible incidents are rare but even still I am not going to risk sending him into places on his own, where I can't be at least in the same room. Female toilets all have cubicles so its hardly an invasion of privacy is it?

I think the only other option which is what my partner does when he is out is take his daughter into a disabled loo...

Yep. Most important lesson a bit can learn- that women need to budge up to suit the convenience of men.

*boy

Bertrand, your point would have been valid in the days when men were quite rightly prevented from entering women’s toilets.
Those days are gone, as we all know.

I think 6 yrs is old enough. DS was going in the men's at 6 with me right outside until he was about 8. He was going in a cubicle (with a gap under the door so he couldn't get trapped inside) independently and locking it then meeting me at the sinks before school age so no worries about his physical ability.

DS10 has been going to the toilet in familiar places alone since age 6/7 and from age 8 will take himself to toilets in new places alone providing he is confident where they are/where we are.

He is now age 10 and would no way agree to me going to the toilet with him.

Those who say age 10 or older - do your children not play out alone ? bad things can happen anywhere not just in public toilets...

Also on school trips and at football camp etc DS goes to the toilets alone they arn't escorted... teachers and coaches allow them to go in alone

“I am going to sound so paranoid but I didn't let my daughter go on her own to public toilets until she was about 15”

I know i’m going to regret this-but what happened when she was out in her own- on her way to or from school, or our shopping at the weekend?

I just think of the girl years ago who was assaulted in the supermarket loos. So single female entry only and I can watch who goes in and out, possibly at 8. Or just one loo opening into the cafe etc.
Female and male behind a big door? No.

And if a mom came into the loos with primary aged boys I wouldn't think anything of it

“And if a mom came into the loos with primary aged boys I wouldn't think anything of it”
How might your primary aged daughter feel about it?

By the end of primary school some of the boys in my daughter's class were bigger than me. I can't grasp why anyone would think that the ladies toilet is fine at that age.

Because girls and boys need to learn young that girls have to budge up to suit the comfort and convenience of boys.

Actually I don’t know the pool rules, that’s a very good point!!! It’s a Sports Direct gym.